I feel a sort of grieving...

[Mama K]

A week ago today I had a beautiful homebirth. We have 3 amazing, lovely, incredible little girls now, and in my heart, I truly do feel complete. We almost certainly will not have any more babies (at least biological -- we may adopt in the future). And yet, I feel a sense of grief over possibly never again being pregnant or going through childbirth.

I don't even particularly enjoy being pregnant (although I do enjoy the closeness and feeling the baby move). I have HG, terrible heartburn, etc. etc. And labor is so painful. But to never experience those things again makes me sad, like a season in my life is over, never to be visited again.

Ugh. Darn hormones. :

[koru]

i'm so sorry you're feeling this & i know exactly where you're coming from. with both my girls i mourned no longer being pregnant even though i was ecstatic to have them on the outside. i wanted to get pregnant again right away after both of them! i am now due any day with #3 & i've been wondering if i'll feel the same even though we are definitely not having anymore children. some women say this yearning never goes away. growing a child is such a powerful thing!

[pinksprklybarefoot]

I totally understand... After I had this one, one of my first thoughts was "Thank God this is just number one... I get to do this at least two more times!"

I didn't even have a really enjoyable pregnancy... a lot of lifestyle changes/transitions occurred during that nine months. I am looking forward to next time, when life will be settled and I can really enjoy pregnancy. Although maybe that is a pipe dream as I'll probably have a seven year-old and a two-year old running around.

[HarperRose]

I, too, have HG and keep saying this is our last, I can't put myself through the sickness anymore, etc. But I so want more! I truly enjoy pregnancy when I can ignore the HG and when it starts getting better. (I've had a couple of good days recently.)

I know the feeling.

[prairiemommy]

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way! My 4th is almost 3 months old and I know that our family is complete now. But it is hard knowing that I will never be pg nor give birth again. What makes it extra hard was that this last birth did not go even remotely as I had hoped, so it is taking me some time to accept that that is how it will have to end. I have been working at accepting my birth in order to be able to come to terms with not having any more children. In my heart though, I know I am done. The pg was rough and the birth/pp period was scary really, when it comes right down to it. For my own safety, I do not want to risk it again - I have four little people who depend on me to be there for them. I also had to accept that even if I did decide to have another child, there is very little guarantee that any future births would be easier and I could actually end up with longterm health issues (still can from my last one..).

So, I only have for you - I'm sorry I have no words of wisdom. One thing though, I found that in my immediate PP period, I almost had to imagine having another just to get through to the point of being more emotionally stable to accept that it just isn't right for our family. So try not to dwell on it too much right now - you will have time to fully think through your situation and come up with what works best for you all.

Take care and congratulations on the birth of your newest little girl!

[Gray's Mommy]

I did the same thing a few months ago after my first homebirth. I think we will end up with 3 children though

Allow yourself to feel everything you are feeling. For me, that is the only way I can do things to move forward.

[lovemysunshine]

I still feel this way, 14 months later. We don't know if we will have more, DH says no and I really want another. It has eased some, but it still hurts.

[kim_nz]

I really felt that way after having my third. I felt that he would be my last but it took me until he was 6mths old to say that out loud, that it was my last baby and that i was happy with my 3. DP didnt want anymore and i really didnt think i could cope with another one (still dont). When DS was 10mths old i found out i was pregnant i was so shocked and so was DP. It really took me a good couple of months to get excited about it but we are now and this WILL be our last!