Some mamas here have seen bits and pieces of my story in other threads and a few have asked me to post my story.
I have been tring to get this written down for the past three years. It has been impossible to do with out becoming hysterical. The law suits are all settled now and I have been in therapy for three years...my Psyc. has been asking me to get it on paper so I finally did... It's most likely a bit disjointed...but I'm a bit disjointed about the whole thing anyway...for what it's worth, here it is:
I went into labor at about 3 in the afternoon, called the MW & doula...told me to call again when contractions were 3-5 minutes apart. Things were moving quickly and I called and they came at around 5:30pm.
I started feeling the incredible urge to push at about 9 pm. MW thought this was way too soon and asked if she could do a VE. I agreed. I was only 6 cm. We figured the babe was posteirior and she told my not to push. (if you have ever been though this, then you know, not pushing when you HAVE to is like trying not breath!!) well the pushing contractions and fighting them went on till 7:30 the next morning. MW asked to do another check...I was swollen down to 5 cm. They suggested that we transfer for some Pit, maybe some oral pain relief and take thing from there.
We got to the hospital and lied that my water just broke a few hours ago. (it had been about 48 hours and there was some mec)
They started pushing for a section right away. I kept refusing. The told me I couldn't have Pit with out an epidural. I refused. They insisted on constant monitoring...I refused. The called a judge...threatened a court order...so we allowed monitoring. They were not getting "good enough readings" so they insisted on internal monitoring (I am a sexual abuse survivor...they knew this...the abuse was perpetrated by a doctor...they knew this as well. I completely freak out when strangers mess with my private parts...this was almost the entire reason for me wanting a HB to start with) So they decided that I was the perfect candidate to try out some new internal monitor that they had never used before. They couldn't get it inserted, they couldn't get it to work...they kept having to take it out and reinsert it... I was screaming at the top of my lungs that they were raping me. (at this point DH says I sort of went catatonic, I stopped responding to anyone...I completely shut down. DH says this went on for almost 45 minutes. Finally they decided it was working right, even though they were only getting sporadic readings. They then decided that this meant that DD was in distress. (there was absolutely no proof of this, My HB MW even checked my with her doppler and everything with the baby was fine) They started in an the section again and got the judge back on the phone. I was pretty aware at this point and spoke to him myself. He told me that it was out of my hands and he was willing to sign a court order. He also warned me that if he had to do that, then CPS would be called and I would not get to even see my DD "if she lived". We finally agreed to the section.
Right after DD was born, the kidnapped her to NICU. She was fine, no problems breathing...strong heart rate...perfectly fine. It was just their way of punishing me for attempting a HB. DH was with her the entire time. He didn't allow any vit. K. No eye goo, no Hep B, no PKU...nothing...they were REALLLLYYYY pissed!!! We were high on the radar. As soon as I got feeling back in my legs, and they took out that awful catheter, I went down to NICU. They wouldn;t let me hold her, let alone breastfeed. They had her on "nothing by mouth" a glucose IV and prophelactic ABX...all without consent. DH refused to sign and they got a court order for it. We tried to leave and set off every alarm in the hospital. Hospital security showed up as did the police since we were "stealing" our own baby.
We called our lawyer. He got us an emergency hearing the next morning. We both showed up in court (mind you, it had been less than 24 hours since they butchered me to remove my baby) and with her and my medical records (which DH stole from my room and NICU), the judge released her to our custody.
When we got back to the hospital to get her (we left my MIL with her while we went to court - there was no way we were leaving her alone with them) they were not in the NICU. We were told they had taken her down to radiology with my MIL. (DD had only 1 kidney, we knew this long before her birth) They decided that they would run a kidney reflux test while we were gone...My MIL objected, but they told her she had no authority (she did, we had left temporary medical proxy with her...gotta love my lawyer) We ran down to radiology only to find out that they couldn't run the test with out parental consent because it requires a separate consent for the radioactive dye they put in through the catheter. I had also never consented to my DD being catheterized. They were on their way to get a court order for that part when we gave them the custody papers from the court (our judge trumped their judge) and they had to release her to us. I took them till almost midnight to get all the AMA paperwork and authorization to remove the umbilical line (that was put in with out out consent by court order)
We came home finally. I physically recovered for the most part, it took us 4 months to finally establish a BF relationship. Lots of heartache and tears over that. We had to use donated BM. I pumped, used every suppliment known to man and almost had to starve her till she agreed to take the breast (this was all done with the services of a post partum doula who is a lactation specialist. She lived with us for 3 weeks).
We sued...We sued, the hospital, the hospitals CNMs, the OB who cut me open, the Head of the NICU. Hospital security, the local police department....There were more individuals....I can't even remember who at this point.
Basically the result was...As long as I consented to dropping the felony rape charge against the CNM with the internal monitor (which I did as long as she lost her privledges at the hospital, which she did...she is also up for medical review of her licence as we speak thanks to my charges) they would agree to an undisclosed financial settlement, Full financial responsibilty for Payment for my continuing therapy, Full financial responsibilty for the lactation doula, Full financial responsibilty for Payment for any future emotional damage to my DD. Besides all hospital fees being "forgiven"
My DD is now 3. We finally reached this settlement over the winter. My DD's future will be financially secure. I don't think I'll ever feel secure again.
I have been tring to get this written down for the past three years. It has been impossible to do with out becoming hysterical. The law suits are all settled now and I have been in therapy for three years...my Psyc. has been asking me to get it on paper so I finally did... It's most likely a bit disjointed...but I'm a bit disjointed about the whole thing anyway...for what it's worth, here it is:
I went into labor at about 3 in the afternoon, called the MW & doula...told me to call again when contractions were 3-5 minutes apart. Things were moving quickly and I called and they came at around 5:30pm.
I started feeling the incredible urge to push at about 9 pm. MW thought this was way too soon and asked if she could do a VE. I agreed. I was only 6 cm. We figured the babe was posteirior and she told my not to push. (if you have ever been though this, then you know, not pushing when you HAVE to is like trying not breath!!) well the pushing contractions and fighting them went on till 7:30 the next morning. MW asked to do another check...I was swollen down to 5 cm. They suggested that we transfer for some Pit, maybe some oral pain relief and take thing from there.
We got to the hospital and lied that my water just broke a few hours ago. (it had been about 48 hours and there was some mec)
They started pushing for a section right away. I kept refusing. The told me I couldn't have Pit with out an epidural. I refused. They insisted on constant monitoring...I refused. The called a judge...threatened a court order...so we allowed monitoring. They were not getting "good enough readings" so they insisted on internal monitoring (I am a sexual abuse survivor...they knew this...the abuse was perpetrated by a doctor...they knew this as well. I completely freak out when strangers mess with my private parts...this was almost the entire reason for me wanting a HB to start with) So they decided that I was the perfect candidate to try out some new internal monitor that they had never used before. They couldn't get it inserted, they couldn't get it to work...they kept having to take it out and reinsert it... I was screaming at the top of my lungs that they were raping me. (at this point DH says I sort of went catatonic, I stopped responding to anyone...I completely shut down. DH says this went on for almost 45 minutes. Finally they decided it was working right, even though they were only getting sporadic readings. They then decided that this meant that DD was in distress. (there was absolutely no proof of this, My HB MW even checked my with her doppler and everything with the baby was fine) They started in an the section again and got the judge back on the phone. I was pretty aware at this point and spoke to him myself. He told me that it was out of my hands and he was willing to sign a court order. He also warned me that if he had to do that, then CPS would be called and I would not get to even see my DD "if she lived". We finally agreed to the section.
Right after DD was born, the kidnapped her to NICU. She was fine, no problems breathing...strong heart rate...perfectly fine. It was just their way of punishing me for attempting a HB. DH was with her the entire time. He didn't allow any vit. K. No eye goo, no Hep B, no PKU...nothing...they were REALLLLYYYY pissed!!! We were high on the radar. As soon as I got feeling back in my legs, and they took out that awful catheter, I went down to NICU. They wouldn;t let me hold her, let alone breastfeed. They had her on "nothing by mouth" a glucose IV and prophelactic ABX...all without consent. DH refused to sign and they got a court order for it. We tried to leave and set off every alarm in the hospital. Hospital security showed up as did the police since we were "stealing" our own baby.
We called our lawyer. He got us an emergency hearing the next morning. We both showed up in court (mind you, it had been less than 24 hours since they butchered me to remove my baby) and with her and my medical records (which DH stole from my room and NICU), the judge released her to our custody.
When we got back to the hospital to get her (we left my MIL with her while we went to court - there was no way we were leaving her alone with them) they were not in the NICU. We were told they had taken her down to radiology with my MIL. (DD had only 1 kidney, we knew this long before her birth) They decided that they would run a kidney reflux test while we were gone...My MIL objected, but they told her she had no authority (she did, we had left temporary medical proxy with her...gotta love my lawyer) We ran down to radiology only to find out that they couldn't run the test with out parental consent because it requires a separate consent for the radioactive dye they put in through the catheter. I had also never consented to my DD being catheterized. They were on their way to get a court order for that part when we gave them the custody papers from the court (our judge trumped their judge) and they had to release her to us. I took them till almost midnight to get all the AMA paperwork and authorization to remove the umbilical line (that was put in with out out consent by court order)
We came home finally. I physically recovered for the most part, it took us 4 months to finally establish a BF relationship. Lots of heartache and tears over that. We had to use donated BM. I pumped, used every suppliment known to man and almost had to starve her till she agreed to take the breast (this was all done with the services of a post partum doula who is a lactation specialist. She lived with us for 3 weeks).
We sued...We sued, the hospital, the hospitals CNMs, the OB who cut me open, the Head of the NICU. Hospital security, the local police department....There were more individuals....I can't even remember who at this point.
Basically the result was...As long as I consented to dropping the felony rape charge against the CNM with the internal monitor (which I did as long as she lost her privledges at the hospital, which she did...she is also up for medical review of her licence as we speak thanks to my charges) they would agree to an undisclosed financial settlement, Full financial responsibilty for Payment for my continuing therapy, Full financial responsibilty for the lactation doula, Full financial responsibilty for Payment for any future emotional damage to my DD. Besides all hospital fees being "forgiven"
My DD is now 3. We finally reached this settlement over the winter. My DD's future will be financially secure. I don't think I'll ever feel secure again.
I love her sling. 
