I can't stand nipple stimulation, need help with bf

[Nani]

I'm not sure how to explain this, but I need help. I just had my second dd and we're exclusively BF. I BF my first for 10.5 months until she more or less self-weaned. The issue here is that I just can not stand breast stimulation, it drives me up the wall. In fact I can probably say, I hate it. It makes BF VERY difficult for me, and there is nothing wrong with my breasts, they are a meduim size, produce a great amount of milk and have no other issues - physically. It's all in my head and it's difficult for me to figure this out on my own.
I think that somehow I need to re-program my brain so my sweet dd and I can have a healthy bf relationship.

Here are some things that I feel... maybe someone here on MDC can either relate or even help me:
I can't stand anything rubbing against my breasts, so when dd latches on (sometimes difficult at night when she's sleepy and doesn't open her mouth properly) and then she unlatches and relatches a few times, my nerves are completely fazzeled and I can't wait until she's done. As soon as she is done, I put on my bra, so nothing rubs against it, even her hand or fabric. At times I even feel aggressive from so much unwanted nipple stimulation.

BF in public is a nightmare for me, as she latches and relatches, exposing my nipple, people stare at me. Covering my shoulder doesn't work well, since dd gets distracted by fabric over her head, making the whole thing harder to do.

I totally know how lucky I am to have healthy breasts. Please be patient with me here, as this is an actual issue for me that I just can't stand my breasts or nipple stimulation, I just don't know how to get around it. I know all the benefits of bf and that's why I'm trying to get past this mental hurdle.

Are there any mantras for this???

[Equuskia]

Do you have any issues from childhood? Considered therapy? You could try a nipple shield, or pumping. Sorry I'm not being helpful s

[alegna]

I would practice deep breathing. Do you have any meditation experience?

Or self hypnosis.

-Angela

[Nani]

Do you have any issues from childhood? Considered therapy? You could try a nipple shield, or pumping

I don't think I have issues from childhood... well, except that I was only bf for 5 days before my mother left me with my grandma for 6 weeks while she traveled and then was a very unhappy and loud baby until things smoothed out in early childhood. Maybe I needed AP and didn't get any boob time. I don't really know. This feeling of breast "overstimulation" really only happened when I started bf my first dd. I might try a breast shield... I suppose it wouldn't mess up her latch, right?

I thought about therapy, but that's been the extent of it. For the most part therapists take a LONG time to get to the bottom of things and I can't afford that right now, it's hard to juggle dd1 and dd2 anyway without trying to make it to a 45 min. therapy session, getting a babysitter, etc.. I'd much rather figure things out on my own, with dh's help and meditating on it.

Is there anyone who has had experience with this feeling?? I'd like to hear stories of women who had struggled with this or something similar. It does seem like a taboo subject somehow and I can't really bring it up with other moms. Nobody seems to understand this problem.

Angela - yes, I have learned Hypnobabies, but that seems different. Maybe deep breathing and conjuring up some positive images would help?!
Anyone got some good images I could work with?

[BlueIrises]

Sounds like raynauds syndrome...I have it and had it prior to my son and didn't know why I hated having my breasts touched...clothing rubbing against them, the stream of shower water and certainly hands...like nails on a chalk board for me...bf was so hard at first partly b/c of this...it is still uncomfy now at 5m but I deal with it...

if that is it there are meds you can take that help...vit b6 is one and also a Rx I have to look in my cabinet for the name but I'm pumping now...it is on newman's website...

oh nfedipine

[steph66]

omg, i had no idea thats what raynauds syndrome was. i think maybe i have that too because i experience the same discomfort. its not that bad when shes actively eating but omg in the mornings when shes just comfort nursing i sometimes get into a panicked fit waiting for her to finish and sometimes i have to take it away from her before i go crazy and just pull out all my hair! i hope you can find a solution for this. i know for me i can deal with it well most of the time, its only when she stays on there forever(to me at least!) that it becomes a huge all consuming problem. good luck and i hope things can get better for you.

[Nani]

wow! there is an actual diagnosis for this???
I guess that brings me some relief and I can look for a cure or ways to deal with it. I'm flabbergasted.
I'll google this now....

[Nani]

well, here is what I found and it has nothing to do with what I'm experiencing....

RAYNAUD'S SYNDROME

What Is Raynaud's Syndrome?

Raynaud's syndrome is a disorder that affects the blood vessels in the fingers, toes, ears, and nose. This disorder is characterised by episodic attacks, called vasospastic attacks, that cause the blood vessels in the fingers and toes to constrict.

Raynaud's syndrome can occur on its own, or it can be secondary to another condition such as scleroderma or lupus.

Although estimates vary, recent surveys show that Raynaud's syndrome may affect 5 to 10 percent of the general population in the United States. Women are more likely than men to have the disorder. Raynaud's syndrome appears to be more common in people who live in colder climates. However, people with the disorder who live in milder climates may have more attacks during periods of colder weather.

What Happens During an Attack?
For most people, an attack is usually triggered by exposure to cold or emotional stress. In general, attacks affect the fingers or toes but may affect the nose, lips, or ear lobes.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I know that some mom's have it affect their breasts as well not only the fingers so it is possible this is what you are dealing with.

[Equuskia]

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/q..._uids=15060268

Raynaud's phenomenon of the nipple

[Elipsisqueen]

I was just like you...

Are you a very pale person? I've read that the more white-skinned you are, the harder it will be to breastfeed. People with darker skin apparently have tougher nipples. Some of my friends never felt pain from breastfeeding-- it's just not fair.

[nataliachick7]

wow...i actually couldnt breastfeed for this reason. i didnt know there was a name for it! interesting. but yeah....mine is really really bad...and i feel terrible that i couldnt breastfeed

[BlueIrises]

You have to look for raynauds of the nipple or raynauds and BF...the nfedipine really helped me...and I only took it for 4w...my right nipple still is more sensitive to nursing stimulation that the left but it is doable..however with pumping I have to scratch my skin near my breast lightly to distract myself from the mind-numbing irritation...

[Nani]

Indeed, I'm relatively fair. My dd2 is 5 weeks now and I'm managing pretty well. Bf is going a bit better these days, but the beginning was really hard and I always bit my hand in pain when she latched on. And when she was done, sometimes I pulled my hair, that's how frustrating it was for me. My poor dh just looked on not knowing how to make it better. He was very sweet and supportive. I went to a LC and she helped me with the baby's latch and that improved it a bit.

[nataliachick7]

i feel like a terrible person qutting breastfeeding bc of it. i had no idea, i thought i was just a huge wimp. i hate using formula. at the same time i am mad at those lactation consultants for not realizing there was a problem when i was sitting there sobbing feeding my baby.