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I freaked out last night.

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
Yep, I did. I went to the hospital and everything- even though i'm having a homebirth.

Here's the story:
I have been mildly worrying about the baby lately. I don't really know why. S/he moves a LOT and I have no reason to think anything is wrong. But I just keep worrying. Then, earlier this week I hear the horrible news that an old friend just had a stillbirth at 38 weeks

So yesterday, my baby was moving but not as much and wasn't as easy to get moving as usual. Usually if i think it's been a while since i've felt a movement i just take a deep breath and s/he gives me a nice big stretch or kick or thump or something to say hi. Yesterday it took more poking and prodding.

The kids and I had a busy, hectic day playing with friends who were in town for the day (yay!). The kids and I were all really tired but I kept them up so they would go to bed early and dh and i could have a relaxing night together. he got home around 6:30, as they were finishing up dinner and i was worrying, so i decided to take a nice bath (alone!) to try to relax. Well, for some reason the bath made me feel even more anxious. I got out and I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. I felt like i was having a panic attack. I called my midwife and told her how i was feeling. she suggested a bunch of things to do to help me relax, but also said that if i thought it was the right thing to do then i should go to the hospital to get the baby checked out. the more i thought of doing anything other than going to the hospital the more i freaked out. so after i put lilah to bed (thankfully she was so tired she fell asleep almost instantly), i announced to dh that i was going to the hospital. he was sooo confused! i told him what was going on and off i went.

on the way to the hospital i was in tears, i was so scared. i knew at that point that my baby was okay b/c s/he was moving around a lot on the way there (thank you baby!) but i just kept imagining all these horrible things.
i went to the er and told them what was going on. they sent me up to l&d and hooked me up to the monitors. baby was fine, heart rate was great and accelerating nicely. they wanted to keep me on the monitor for an hour but it ended up being more like 2 or 2 1/2 b/c the ob on call ended up in an emergency c/s. i didn't mind though b/c it was so reassuring to see my little one's heart beating so nicely.

also, i was contracting every 1-3 minutes on the monitor. i could feel them, but they aren't painful, just tight and sometimes somewhat uncomfortable.

when the ob finally got out of the e/r, he looked at the monitor strips and said baby looks perfect, but wanted the nurse to check my cervix. he said that if i was dilated they would keep me (unless i signed out ama) since i was contracting so much. i must admit that at this point i got kind of excited about maybe being close to having a baby (even though i KNOW i want this baby to be born at home). alas, when she checked me i was only a fingertip dilated so home i went.

the whole experience was really very surreal. i felt sure that i needed to go to the hospital, and i was really afraid that even if they said everything was fine and sent me home that i would still be scared, but i'm not. i feel much calmer now.

i think my freak out was caused by a combination of factors- exhaustion, the news of my old friend's tragic loss, hormonal fluctuations from all the contractions i was having- even though they weren't productive, and probably just general anxiety and stress.

the good news is that i feel a lot better today. my dh took the kids back to our old town to do a few things and go to a birthday party so i have most of the day to myself. i'm going to use it to do a few jobs here, but mostly to relax and really focus on my sweet baby that will be here so soon. things have been so hectic here that i really haven't had much time to think about this little one's arrival as much as i should.

i don't know why i felt the need to share this, but i really did, so there you go. if you read it, thanks.
post #2 of 9
i am glad that everything is ok and i think it is a great idea to follow your intuition.

i also have some moments of panic - i am beginning to think that as we draw closer to birth, it is normal to feel these moments of panic. but, i think the important thing - as you demonstrated - is to look closely at the feelings and act accordingly.
post #3 of 9
Hey Crissy,
I think if it put your mind at ease - you did the right thing.
I was scared to death of going two weeks over with my last baby because of a s/b birth story I had read.

This birth I am 13 days post date today and not freaked out. Probably the combination of stress and exhaustion etc. like you said.

I hope you get some rest and are able to relax!
post #4 of 9
Thread Starter 
thanks you guys.

i really really really believe in intuition, and i knew that i didn't want to regret not following my intuition. i'm starting to really believe too that everything that happens is meant to teach us something. i'm still not sure what yesterday meant to teach me, but i'm thinking about it.

i do think it was right for me to go to the hospital, even though now i know (and really believe) that everything is fine.
post #5 of 9
Then it was a win-win all the way around!

Happy birthing vibes being sent your way Crissy!
post #6 of 9
Not in your DDC, but I'm so glad everying is okay, Chrissy! It is amazing how reassuring it can be to *know* that everything is perfect! I nearly went to an OB to get checked when we couldn't find the baby's heartbeat by 13wks, or just scheduled an u/s myself! I knew it was okay, but it was still hard. So wonderful to finally have the confirmation!

Can't wait for the story of your newest little one! Blessings!!
post #7 of 9
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by darsmama View Post

Happy birthing vibes being sent your way Crissy!
Right back atcha mama!

Heather, thank you! i was following your big uterus saga (aka stalking you ) and was both happy and bummed to read there is only one baby. i have this crazy twin lust that i project onto others.

thanks you guys.
post #8 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrissy View Post
Heather, thank you! i was following your big uterus saga (aka stalking you ) and was both happy and bummed to read there is only one baby. i have this crazy twin lust that i project onto others.
Who knows, maybe we'll be surprised at birth! My feelings are definitely mixed - would've been so much fun, but obviously twins are hard! So I think we'll be very happy with our one, and who knows what could happen next time (don't tell DH I'm thinking about "next time!" ).

Can't wait to hear what you've got this time!
post #9 of 9
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeatherB View Post
Who knows, maybe we'll be surprised at birth! My feelings are definitely mixed - would've been so much fun, but obviously twins are hard! So I think we'll be very happy with our one, and who knows what could happen next time (don't tell DH I'm thinking about "next time!" ).

Can't wait to hear what you've got this time!
yeah, don't tell my dh i'm thinking about "next time" either.
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