Any white mamas adopting African American or bi-racial babies? - Page 2

[Earthchild]

I am a soon to be single mommy to a little one from West Africa.

I have had no problems so far. However, anyone who knows me knows NOT to voice any problems they may have with racial issues around me. I have dated inter-racially. I married inter-racially.

Strangers will stare. It happens. Racism lives and breathes. You learn when to educate, when to remain silent, and when to tell it like it is to rude people.

[MaxxsMom]

Hi,

I am new to this site, but we adopted our AA son almost 10 months ago when he was just 2 days old. We didn't specifically set out for an AA or biracial adoption, but that's where our hearts lead us. His birthmother picked us and we got to develop a great relationship with her before he was born.

We have had very little direct criticism of our choice. Most people know better to say anything. But we do live in the South (AR) and I know it bothers some. Amazingly, we have gotten amazing support from other AAs. I think when they see how much we love and are proud of our son, that they can see how having a loving home is better than the alternatives.

We almost started working with The Cradle because our agency was having trouble finding birthmothers. I don't know about the agency, but they have some terrific classes you can take on-line. One of the best is called "The Conspicuous Family". I recommend that anyone considering or having already adopted an AA or biracial child take the class - it's FREE.

We did a ton of reading about transracial adoption, but the class was one of the best things we did. It helped us see how to build a really integrated support system for us and our son and in areas of life that we may not have considered. All of their classes are extremely interactive and there are tons of resources linked into the online classes.

We are so blessed and so happy and we hope to adopt another AA, biracial, or African son to our family.

[SweetMamaMe]

My hubby and I (cc) adopted a biracial baby girl (aa/cc) almost 3 years ago. We started out in a way, way, way open adoption, but had to close it close to the end of the first year. Long story. We live in a very racially charged city, and haven't had major problems, but then I tend not to look too much into 'looks' or stares from other people, because our family is 'different.' When we first told dh's family, they weren't sure what to think. They were still of the mindset of "Where do 'they' fit in society?" Now, they love her unconditionally and are her fiercest protectors. Other than her Mama Bear, of course.

[clothcrazymom]

Sandra -

We haven't encountered the same reactions - but maybe that's because we didn't make a big deal about it. We were open to adopting an infant of any race/ethnicity. Our feeling was that the children we are meant to parent will come to us and it's not our place to specify gender and/or race/ethnicity (just our own belief)

We happen to have a new AA baby girl now! (we are CC and have 3 biological children as well)

http://www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/index.cfm has some great FREE online classes that may be helpful. When we had family members ask things I sent them there. Don't know if they bothered taking them or not.

[ibex67]

My experience

Our 3 yr old dd is AA and we are not. [The adoption is almostfinal!!!]

It is a very open adoption. She has been with us informally for much of the last year and a half. She sees her first mom and her half-siblings as well -- usually on average of once every 6 weeks. We have signed a formal "post adoption contact agreement" with her first mom that gives her once a month visitation as well as July 4th as a holiday visit. [The holiday that the mom requested.] So this year, first mama invited us to her aunt's huge family BBQ. The majority of the family just found out about the adoption this week and we were quite nervous to what reactions would be. We had never met anyone before. And yes we were the only white people there. And it was fabulous. Everyone was gracious [amazing considering this bomb was just dropped on them!] though I am certain people had their own opinions about the situation -- they kept them to themselves.

In terms of my family and DH's family. DD has been with us over a year and no one has ever made an issue of race.

And we've been very lucky that random strangers haven't either.

So far, so good.