Do you think pretending that I am not pregnant will work??

[DoulaLes]

Ok--I know we have many other similar threads but I did not want to hijack any one else's so I am starting yet another " is this ever going to go some where thread?"

I have shared before that I am doula---but this is MY first pregnancy and birth...and man, it's hard being on this side when I know TOO much!

As of Wed (5/02) I was 37 wks, 100% effaced, +1 station and stretchy 2cm dilated. He was a bit posteriour but after some serious adjustments with my chiro on Thursday--he flipped around to LOA and I started having some hard contractions. ( I have been having BH for months--but these were taking my breath away.) I contracted until late--then went to bed. Woke up Friday feeling very achy in the hips--with lots of cervical pain. I decided to not go to work because I felt this could be the day. I stayed home, and literally slept all day. Had some loose stools, tiny bit of clumpy discharge ( no color) and peeing every 45 minutes or so. Still contracting when I was awake...but nothing else.

So last night---I am contracting again pretty regularly---but nothing else so I decide to sleep again. Slept through the night--although woke up with very achy hips again. Today...nada. Contracting pretty regularly when I am awake ( but again spent most of the day sleeping...this is not like me to be soo sleppy!)

And when I am awake---I just sit around wondering what to do with my self!

So I am wondering if maybe I was to try to "pretend" I am not pregnant or at least not expecting a baby any time soon, if THAT would help! Cause I am at my wits end...and feeling so discouraged. I know all the things about baby will come when he's ready, enjoy this time before her comes, blah, blah, blah....I have given those speeches to my clients numerous times....but this whole "teasing" with the progress and contractions is whats killing me!! I want to curl in a ball and cry...because I am not sure what else to do with my self! I could vacuum, or clean my car....but those things will only cause contractions and I am not having much faith in my contractions right now.

I have tried to exmaine the emotional stuff...am I really ready? Am I holding back any fears? Etc...and really cant find any thing there. I had a talk with baby on Wed. letting him know I felt ready whenever he is---and I really think I meant it.

I dont know ladies...I guess I just needed to vent. It's hard to have been the one to doula so many moms--and then feel so very discouraged yourself. I have 2 doulas ( both my business partners) and they are really trying to encourage me...but nothing seems to be working very well.
I am enjoying getting on the boards and reading what others are saying and dealing with...makes me feel like not such a loner!

[NaturalMommaof3+1]

Oh sweetie! You have done so well! And you have helped so many others. This is your time now. And you have made it to the end. Things will fall in place for you. Maybe try not to think about them so much and do those fun things that you enjoy doing. Get your mind off the pregnancy for a while and have an epson salt bath and read something you enjoy, or have a foot soak in front of the t.v., or make some popcorn and rent a movie. Take this time for you. It's all about you now. Soon it will all be about baby, so take these moments, and try not to think about what's right around the corner. It will all fall inplace perfectly for you at the right time!
((((((((big hugs!))))))))

[Ilana]

FWIW, my doula is totally against internals during pregnancy because she feels that those numbers give women false hope and, in the middle of labour when things are progressing slowly, a sense of despair. It's a good point. If someone told me all those numbers now I'd start to believe it meant something and if it didn't (because I went 21 hours only getting to 3cms with my last and then all of a sudden my body blew open and let the baby out) then it would just bum me out when nothing happened. So I think your idea is a good one, just pretend that nothing has happened and don't focus on the numbers!

Strength be with you, Mama! Before you know it you'll have your fully cooked babe in your arms and a rocking birht experience behind you!

ILANA

[dancebaraka]

Well.. as another doula and a woman who has been having practice labor on and off for days, all I can say is I feel ya, and I send you positive vibes!

[happyhippimama]

I am totally there!! Every little bit. But I am 75% effaced and 4cm and had a "stretch and sweep" on Thursday.

I feel like- ok this is going to happen SOON. And nothing is happeneing. LOTS of conx. I know my body is doing things to get ready for active labor, but my goodness. I have had contractions for about 4 weeks total. I've really about had enough.

I am 38 weeks Monday. So I know it can't be TOO much longer......right.:

[tangomoon]

It can be so hard to wait! My official due date was Thursday ~ and with DD, I'd gone early, so I'm a little surprised to still be waiting. Haven't had any internals yet, so I don't know about progress there, but have been losing mucous plug and having bloody show over past 5 days. No real contractions to speak of though!

There are days that I just get so despondant about it, and I'm not sure why. Some days it feels like each day we go without going into labor, the further away I am from having the baby! Silly, I know, since we're actually getting closer (one way or another).

Just like you, I know all the advice ~ enjoy this time, yadda-yadda-yadda. That's much easier said than done!

Sending some big hugs your way, and hoping that the remaining time manages to pass quickly for you

[DoulaLes]

Thanks you guys for understanding, listening and offering your encouragment...I got all teary eyed reading through the posts....these darn hormones!!
I had another decent nights sleep--but have been up all of about 15 minutes and am already contracting....ughhh.

I saw hippimama's water broke--sounds like another baby is on the way--yippee!

In the mean time--I guess I will try to stop focusing on the obvious---and really try to enjoy these quiet early mornings I still have to my self.

I did take some ones advice last night--we got a movie and watched it ...it was just hard trying to find a comfy position to sit in/lay in to watch it!!!