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For those who have transitioned from 1 DC to 2  

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
How is it going? Has it been difficult or easier than you expected? My ds is 2 and I am a little worried about how things will go. So, tell me how it is...
post #2 of 22
So far, I find 2 was an easier transition than getting the first baby. It's going really well!!! I find that caring for the newborn is easier than caring for the toddler. Ds isn't really mobile yet (he ha a broken leg) so is really whiny and needy right now. Can you say tantrums?? It's insane. And the one thing I find really difficult is keeping him away from dd. He loves her so much, he gets crazy around her. He wants to steal her and play with her like he does with his toys.

Apart from that, no jealousy issues, yet. I'm sure it will come!! So yep, that's about it!!
post #3 of 22
Okay, hopefully this doesn't scare you!
I am finding it pretty overwhelming. Ds1 is pretty good with the new babe, better than I expected, but I am really tired (obviously!lol) and find myself a bit short tempered during the day...poor ds1. Anyway, I'm just finding it difficult to keep him amused and give him alot of energy right now and i feel quite guilty about it.
I'm also tandem nursing, which isn't going as well as I had hoped and I think is contributing to some jealousy. So I'm in the process of weaning ds1, which is making things a little tougher as well.
Really this issue is just lack of sleep, so I know it will get better.
Oh, and ds1 is starting to get really good at throwing tantrums, which I'm not sure how to deal with all the time, but I dont' think it's related to the baby, just Finn's age. We are all learning together!:
A
post #4 of 22
i hope things get better for you finn'smama...i'm sure it will be a lot different when you feel caught up on sleep!

my ds1 is doing very well with ds2... i noticed we had several days where he was "testing" us a lot more than usually and fighting with dh a lot. but that seems to be better now. he is great to ds2 though.
this is definately an easier transition than 0-1 was. i'm also having a much easier pp time compared to the first six weeks after ds1's birth. i feel bad that ds1 ends up playing by himself a lot more and has to be patient a lot ("...when i'm done nursing." "...when you brother falls asleep" --he hears those a lot) i was worried about nights too b/c we have only one bedroom. ds1 sleeps through everything though! woohoo! and just floats between the big bed that i'm sleeping in with baby or the single bed with papa. so overall, it's been what i expected or even easier.
post #5 of 22
I agree with doudat. It was easier going from DC 1 to 2, rather than having that 1st baby. At least you know what you're doing, what to expect, and find easier ways to cope. Plus, you already have all the baby gear, unless it's broken down.

My 1st DC and 2nd DC are 24 months apart, and they are awesome together. Now, it helped that my 1st DC, who's a girl LOVES babies, so she's all into her lil' brother.

I'm scared about going from 2nd DC who's a hair-pulling (on my part) temper tantrum throwing, hitting, biting machine 20 month old to a newborn. I'm afraid in the sense that he's so clingy to me, and demands all my attention. Plus, he still loves his milk bubbas.

But, overall, I think you'll find it's not so bad. And you'll like the fact that they're closer in age in a year or 2 when they're playing with each other and give you a break.
post #6 of 22
I think going from 0-1 is definitely the hardest because its a complete life change. However I did find giong from 1-2 very difficult. Actually the newborn stage was teh esiest - it was when the baby started crawling and taking DS1's toys and things that it got rough. I found the whole first year of having 2 to be very challenging. DS1 is very high needs and I had PPD so I am sure those two factors made it worse.

Just being honest. You'll be fine.
post #7 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by doudat View Post
So far, I find 2 was an easier transition than getting the first baby.
nak

i agree. the hardest transition is going from none to 1. dd1 is doing great with the baby- not jealous at all. evry morning she runs in saying "hi sissy, hi sissy, good morning sissy" and gives her a kiss. talk about melting my heart
I have had to learn to be okay with things being messy. My house is typically very clean- um... not anymore. I know this will get better as we adjust but right now the baby freaks whenever I put her down. She is such a content baby- as long as I am holding her. She finally let Dp hold her yesterday for longer than 30min. Sleeping arrangments kinda suck right now. DP and dd 1 are sleeping in a different room. we have always co-slept with dd1 and there is just not enough room in our queen size bed. I miss having DP next to me but I didnt want to make dd1 sleep in her room just yet. We decided to put a playpen in our room that she could sleep in. I bought a co-sleeper for the baby but she will NOT sleep unless she is on top of me
It has been challenging but awesome at the same time. Sometimes I dont shower until 4pm. The biggest challenge for me is me. Just learning to go with the flow and being ok with imperfection ( messy house etc).
Good luck mama- this really is an amazing time. I have had a few moments I felt like pulling my hair out but I have had many more moments of feeling 100% joy.
post #8 of 22
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much for your imput. I have been kind of nervous about how things will go because ds still loves nursing to sleep and he tends to be a bit of a light sleeper. I worry about him sleeping through the baby waking at night.
I am so glad to hear it is much easier transitioning from 1 to 2 than from 0 to 1. It seemed like such a difficult time when ds was born. I honestly though my life was over. I thought I would never get to do anything again. OF course now things are different and we have adjusted (hopefully so - it's been 2 years )
post #9 of 22
My DS is 2 1/2 and so far things have been great! We have not seen any jealousy or aggression towards the baby and he is genuinely in love with his sister. He has been acting out in other ways a bit more than usual, but he's 2 for crying out loud, so who's to know if it's from the new family dynamic or from just being 2. He loves to ignore direction and has been fighting dinner and going to sleep. Luckily, he will still nap so I get a little snooze in myself in the afternoons.

Good luck!
post #10 of 22
I just wanted to add that it isn't all bad! My post seemed pretty negative so I wanted to say there is alot of joy with two as well. Watching ds1 kiss and snuggle his tiny brother is really amazing! And it is starting to feel more "normal" as time goes on.
A
post #11 of 22
I think going from 0-1 was a more difficult adjustment for me. It was difficult for me to get up at night to nurse, and to face those nights when I knew I'd have to get up. Those little adjustments were hard to handle at first, and I think my recovery from birth was slower. This time the adjustment isn't getting used to having a baby, but just having more than one baby. Ds is 2 yrs and 4 months, and so everything is slower, we do less and I get less done. This is more of routine change, if anything. I'm still learning how to juggle the two, more, especially the new baby, and feel totally confidant and comfortable. My ds is a little whinier and clingier but generally the transition has been good. I have a few moments of shining pride and love and glory that I'm a mama of two, but I'm waiting for that to become more consistant yet! (I'm not joking, that's usually how I feel about being a mama, but I have to totally figure this 2-kid thing out a bit more yet!)
A
post #12 of 22
I have not had a lot of issues with dd, who is two, with the exception of a couple of nights when she woke up when he needed to be fed and she was very distressed that I could not really snuggle her back to sleep right away. During daytime hours she was 100% ok with me needing to set her down or stop what we were doing to nurse him, but those couple of nights she really did not want to share momma!

But for the most part, when the baby is crying she says "Oh Mommy! That baby is crying (sounds like 'cawhying'). That baby hun-gwee (hungry)" and telling me "shh, that baby is sweepin (sleeping)" or "that baby is so cute!" And asking "I take it? I take that baby?" when she wants to hold him. We have snuggled together many times and she is quite content to hold him in her arms.

The transition for me from 1 (my step son) to 2 (with dd) was a big adjustment since I had never had a baby, but I am not finding this transition too hard.

We've had a long day and I am so tired...sorry if this does not make sense.
post #13 of 22
Much much easier! He just seems to have always been here with us. It is harder being consistant with my dd's discipline and training, but that is just because I am a bit more preoccupied.
post #14 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of my Castle View Post
I have a few moments of shining pride and love and glory that I'm a mama of two, but I'm waiting for that to become more consistant yet! (I'm not joking, that's usually how I feel about being a mama, but I have to totally figure this 2-kid thing out a bit more yet!)
A
nak

i am trying to figure it out too. going out in public has been a mind bender for me i know people do it all the time but.........
post #15 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by indigo515 View Post
nak

i am trying to figure it out too. going out in public has been a mind bender for me i know people do it all the time but.........
Yeah! I still haven't ventured to the grocery store or mall yet! We're alright going to the park, but that's about it for now. What if they both need to nurse or need their diapers changed??
post #16 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by indigo515 View Post
nak

i am trying to figure it out too. going out in public has been a mind bender for me i know people do it all the time but.........

totally! I have gone grocery shopping, and a few other places, but I took it in steps (left ds at moms the first time) nd I expect a certain amount of chaos... it's funny, when I go out I feel 'special' because I have '2' kids, which is ridiculous when I see people with 4!

what i REALLY want to know is how does everyone type such long messages with one hand!!????
A
post #17 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of my Castle View Post

what i REALLY want to know is how does everyone type such long messages with one hand!!????
A
me too!
post #18 of 22
Thread Starter 
When ds was a newborn, I also wondered how everyone was able to type long messages with one hand!! It took me forever to get the hang of it. I know how you feel (eventhough our baby is still in the womb).
post #19 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of my Castle View Post
what i REALLY want to know is how does everyone type such long messages with one hand!!????
A

It takes a very long time, and careful editing
post #20 of 22
So far so good. DS is 28 months. He is more willful and tests us more. We have to be incredibly consistent. I also make sure to give him extra snuggle time and DH takes baths w him. It helps that our families have given him lots of presents, but now he asks everyone-'do you have a present for me?' I feel bad on the days I am SO tired-then I don't have much patience for his whining. But I think it is how he is mourning his loss as only child.
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