Planning an *unassisted* birth (but with a midwife in the house) - Page 3

[roadfamily6now]

congrats!! I am glad I came back and checked this thread! You birthed on your hands and knees just like me! Pretty easy doing it that way, huh??

[StacyL]

Originally Posted by Synchro246

About calling. . .I'm a little nervous unsure of *when* to call. Because she lives far away I was going to call as soon as I was pretty sure I was in labor just to say "Hey looks like a baby is on the way some time in the near future" and to call again when I am ready for her to be here in two hours. I get that I don't want her coming in very late in the game possibly disrupting whatever is going on. . .I just don't know how to gauge how long my labor will be. I had a pretty abnormal set of circumstances last time (scarred cervix, OP asynclytic baby, and PROM) so things were SLOOOOOOOOW. My default setting right now is to assume birth is a long ways away, but this attitude with this pregnancy might result in baby coming before I expect OR this experience could *feel* so differently that I think the baby is coming fast and I call for her to come too soon. I wish I knew what to expect of my body.

I had a very similar experience in my first birth (OP & slow) so here's my advice, for what it's worth, on how my second birth went:

I also dislike anyone talking to me during labor and have a hard time articulating anything at all.

My MW was also 1 hour away. I had the second babe in the proper position and so labor went MUCH faster and she almost didn't make it because I called too late. Hence, I spent 30 minutes resisting pushing (blowing) and trying to *hold the baby in* till she got there. So, I would expect your labor to go faster this time and call her in time to arrive. If she comes a bit too soon, she can always sit in another room, but if she's NOT there, she can't *get there* if you NEED her fast enough. It turned out we really did need our MW (thank God she arrived) because we had a very large SD baby, so her expertise was very necessary.

Whoops! Didn't see the whole thread before I posted - duh!
Anyway, glad it went great and glad your MW was there to help you out!

[mom3b1?]

Originally Posted by Synchro246

I know I'm not the only one who plans births like this. I don't know if this is the right forum or if homebirth would be better. I know some of you have personal definitions of UC that are more strict than mine. I am considering what I am about to do *unassisted*, but attended. Thanks

I've had two in the hospital and one unassisted, no attendee during the birth but some prenatal care on an as-needed basis. So, the pregnancy wasn't unassisted, but the birth was.

This time I'm thinking of hiring a MW, but one that will leave me alone and let me birth. I don't really think of this as an Unassisted Birth, but it's not quite like having someone meddling either. I don't know if I'll be able to find someone who'll do that. I might have, but then sometimes they agree to anything in the beginning. Maybe if the birth is fairly fast I won't call her. I just don't know for sure. I'm newly pregnant, so maybe I'll know better later.

That's not to say you can't think of your birth as UC, I'm just saying, that's how it feels to me about my own similar birth plans. Bottom line, we want our babies out without a lot of fiddling about with machines and equipment.

Kiley

[mom3b1?]

Originally Posted by SublimeBirthGirl

For me, I knew that to maintain inner autonomy, I could not have a birth professional in the house. I knew from my 1st birth i would look to that person because she was there. And I hate that feeling (not everyone does). The only way *I* could avoid that, for sure, was to not have a midwife there. Maybe if that happens to you, another room would be enough.

Eat well, take care of yourself, trust your instincts. IMO that's what most of us need.

You know, that's how I felt for my last birth. If there had been a MW in the house, it just wouldn't have been right. I needed to be alone to have the autonomy to listen to my body.

For some reason I'm feeling, at this time, like I could do it with someone in the house. I don't know if it's because I've done it before so I know I can, or if it's because I'm older. Maybe it's that I'm now in a different marriage with someone who is a lot more supportive and uncontrolling so I don't feel I need to fight so hard to do my own thing. This is just about my own feelings. I don't mean it to be a statement about yours. What you said, just made me think.

Hmmm.

Kiley

[mom3b1?]

Originally Posted by Synchro246

Ok about the third stage. I haven't been very sure myself about what I want. I know I am very comfortable waiting for the placenta as long as I'm not bleeding a lot.
Does the placenta need to be out for any perineal and cervical tearing to be assesed?

I think it took two hours for the placenta to come out during my UC. I was very glad not to have someone there to fuss about that. I think assessing tearing can wait a bit, if you aren't bleeding enough to cause trouble. Tears can sometimes heal better without stitches, anyway.

Kiley

[jessitron]

Yay Laura! That is awesome!

[CrunchyMomto3]

Congrats Laura. Sounds like a beautiful birth.

[~Kristina~]

Curious...is it still a UC if it's attended but not hands on?? I would love to go UC, but I had a pph with my last birth and would like my midwife here if anything goes crazy and to make my dh more comfortable.

[mom3b1?]

Originally Posted by GinaRae

I want them there! But to what extent to I want assistance, I don't know. At this point I am thinking unassisted until after transition??

Only you can decide what you want for your birth. There are a couple of things I wish I'd known earlier.

Sometimes MWs are required by law to do certain interventions. Sometimes even if the law does not require some things, the Midwife personally does. For instance, they may require you plan a hospital birth if you go more than one or two weeks past your "due date." If your labor is more than a certain number of hours, sometimes 24, they may require a transfer to a hospital, or interventions at home. They may require vaginal exams at certain times. They may require tests during pregnancy. They may cut the cord immediately (this one is usually negotiable with HB Midwives). They may transfer you if your placenta doesn't come out after a certain amount of time.

The other thing that I wish I'd known is that some practitioners lie or mislead patients. I'm not saying the MWs you have will do that, but some do. I have had an OB lie to me and make promises she had no intention of keeping. I've not had a MW do that, but I imagine there are some who would, as in any profession.

Talking about some of the issues can help you make plans you can live with.

Best Wishes!

Kiley