Weekly Thread *~May 7th - May 13th~* - Page 5

[wombatclay]

AND tetanus is only a significant problem when you have a puncture wound where you're not going to have oxygen in contact with the wound edge...so pointy things like nails that puncture (rather than cut) are the bigger risk, but nails certainly aren't the only thing out there that can cause a puncture wound and they're probably not the most common thing out there these days anyway.

But they certainly make tetanus only shots! After all, just about any time an adult is injured they get a tetanus booster...NOT a DTaP. DH and I do a lot of home construction work in old homes and we keep our tetanus boosters up to date, and we've never had a problem. Well, okay, I take that back...about 5 years ago there was a shortage of tetanus boosters available in NY so they were reserved for people with injuries or need. But that's no longer the case.

Grrrr...did they hassle you over DH's booster as well? Or was it just your little one? I'm so sorry they're being idiots...

[awallrising]

:

brookibabe- so interesting that you brought this up b/c I've been doing tons of research on immunizations (I feel a spreadsheet in the making). As for the Dr saying that it will get traumatic as they get older, in Japan they often don't start immunizing until much later on, like 2-6 yrs old. Consequently, the Japanese have noticed positive health outcomes (like much lower SIDS) since they started vaccinating later in childhood.

Many Drs have absolutely no clue what toxic crap is in immunizations & since most (or how about all) Drs underreport immunization morbidity & morality, no one really knows how bad immunizations are. Stick to your guns. I'm going to try to find a Dr who will work with me on this. There is no way I'm subjecting my baby to anything unless I deem it to be medically indicated.

I'm not sure what road I'm going to take on immunizations. If I do decide to immunize, it will be selective & it will be on my schedule not on the "regular" schedule. I'm already turning down the Hep vaccine at the hospital among the other "Standard" & totally unnecessary procedures.

I feel like there is so much that I need to protect me & my baby from that is just status quo for most. Thank goodness, I have that innate "Question Authority" mindset.

[Shell_Ell]

Originally Posted by momtokay

ack, i just got a call that one of my two midwives is leaving for another state on june 1st. i really hope this baby comes at 37 weeks now to ensure i won't end up with someone i've never even met at delivery....

That stinks. That actually happened to me with my son. One of my midwives quit about a week before I delivered. It sucked but if you have one midwife you really trust, then hopefully it will still be okay.

[brookibabe]

You know, when my DH got his tetanus shot, I belive he had diptheria in with it too. Maybe it was this particular place that I went to that doesn't do tetanus alone. I am definately going to have to do some more research before I try this again. I really hate how they try and scare you into immunizing - basically saying if your kid doesn't get immunized then your kid WILL die. I know that when it comes time for her to go to school (years from now) I am going to have to go through this all over again.:

[Jilian]

FWIW DS was only partially immunized before I did the research and decided to stop, he's been to daycare in the past without a problem. He's starting pre-k in a few months. All we had to do was obtain an exemption from the health department - we claimed religious exemption and by law they are not allowed to question you about your choice - it is religious discrimination.

[wombatclay]

I was talking with DH about the tetanus thing and he had an idea...it's possible that the stand alone tetanus booster is not considered effective as a "first course" innoculation...meaning that it may not be effective or might have unexpected side effects in a child who hasn't already been exposed through the DTaP or DT vax ("possible"...DH is a science geek and works with all sorts of stuf, but he doesn't work with human vax so he doesn't know...this is just his off the top of his head, only explaination he can think of other than the clinic being stupid).

But I dunno.

I'm feeling a bit bummed out tonight. Our family bedroom is STILL in a state of total jumble and DH has been promising me for weeks now that it will be done "tomorrow". Well, it's been over a month and it's still not done. NOt even close. DH is a wonderful, sweet, amazing, supportive, all round wonderful guy...but he has ADHD and is on a few different meds to help him focus. And sometimes they don't work so well. He starts projects and then they just sort of never get done all the way....but this project HAS to be done before the babe arrives. Our upstairs is literally unusable right now and if it weren't for the fact that I've been sleeping downstairs on the couch I probably would have had a totaly hormonal fit by now. As it is I'm barely hanging on to my sanity!

Today was supposed to be "it"...but then he ran out of a glaze he needed to finish the window. The "20 minute" trip to Lowes turned into an hour and a half since he got distracted (I couldn't go so he was on his own). Then he decided he really needed to go out on the porch to clean the outside of the windows? Then when I came up to see how he was doing I found him using a razor blade to scrape little bits of paint off the floor around the baseboards. And all of this was after I begged him to just finish the room...nothing fancy, nothing amazing, just get the room to a place where furniture could be put back in. Sigh...furniture is still piled up everywhere,the new dressers and bed are still in their boxes (so I haven't been able to put clothes away for over a week since the closet in the room was emptied for painting and so there are just piles of folded clothes here and there on the floor), the co-sleeper is still folded up and in need of airing out/washing, the list just goes on and on!

Sigh...sorry for the vent there. It's just I don't want to yell at him (that wouldn't be fair...he really does work non-stop, he just has trouble focusing even when he has a very clear list so even though he's working sometimes nothing gets done) but I've got to get this off my mind somewhere!

[awallrising]

Happy Mother's Day!!!

wombat- sorry DH is being a pain in the butt. Although I'm glad to be off the tight deadline we had (my friends held my baby shower at my house last week), I am happy that it forced DH to get a bunch of stuff done. He just didn't seem to get the importance of getting certain things done. I wish I had a good suggestion for your DH. Maybe make him a big note with the one thing you want him to get done & stick it in a prominent place (or in his face) when he gets off track!

It's 2:35am & I'm still awake. Argh!!!!!! This on again off again insomnia drives me nuts. I got up & made food for Mother's Day brunch (because I know I will be a disaster in the morning). I really want to be asleep. I guess there are worse things than insomnia & I'm sure it's my body preparing me for baby. Thank goodness for naps.

I have to say that it's nice to get Mother's Day cards & well wishes even though baby is still on the inside. The extra attention helps me to not miss my Mom so much. I have to say that this Mother's Day has been a rough one though & I know it's mostly b/c I'm in my 9th month with my 1st baby. Oh well, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

Hope you all have a nice day!

[Corri]

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm glad you're getting fussed over, awallrising; I hope the day goes smoothly and you feel loved! DH is in the kitchen making me french toast from the leftover challah (egg bread) I baked on Friday. I have to walk him through the steps, but I can do that from the couch.

Has Jamie posted since yesterday? I'm getting excited about all these labour posts now!

[todavia]

Happy Mother's Day DDC!

enjoy...

[willoLevin]

I think I hate Mothers Day!

Like Wombat was saying about her DH, I am so blessed to have a caring, hard-working, and really wonderful husband. (And here comes the "big but"...)

I think I have been disappointed by every Mother's Day I've been "eligible" for. First, when I was pregnant in 2003, he didn't do anything for me even though I'd specifically mentioned it. (He's a man, I knew I needed to tell him!)

I guess, to me, a little time/attention is the big deal. I would like him to encourage me to stay in bed late, or to make me breakfast (or take me OUT to breakfast), and I wish he would take DS shopping to get me a present instead of making it easier by going himself and just picking something up on DS's behalf (and he never gets a card "from" DS like I do for him.) He always does something, but... it never seems like anything different than a "typical" holiday. Flowers, gift, a little card... but no extra ATTENTION.

I know I'm a whiny creature. It is more important that he REMEMBERS. I know that.

I think, as a SAHM, it is just that I keep expecting Mother's Day to be the ONE DAY A YEAR that I get rewarded. I don't get raises, promotions, or any of that. So basically when he left for karate this morning (the first time he's been well enough to go exercise in 11 days, so I don't even mind this year!), I was in tears because I felt like he was annoyed I asked him to change DS's poopy diaper and I *KNOW* he thought I was being a b*#%! for asking him to take the pizza box he left on the dining room table two days ago out to the trash in the garage. (Remember: I have no kitchen but a few shelves in the dining room. If it gets cluttered in there, we literally cannot sit down together to eat a meal.)

So I'm kind of depressed. And I miss my mom, too, I guess, which might be adding to my (hormonally charged) bad mood today. Oh, and my in-laws are going to come over here around 11am because they are going to an event all afternoon, so I get to see them on my own with DS because DH will still be at karate. I really just want to be left alone if I can't have *MY* family, you know?

Sorry for the grousing. I feel too pathetic to talk to anyone else about this.

--willo :

[Jilian]

Happy Mother's Day Mamas!!

Willo, I'm sorry you are feeling depressed. Don't feel bad about venting or whining, that is what we're here for. Last year DP didn't do anything for mother's day for me and I was really upset about it. I cried most of the day. Then someone here on MDC made a good point, she said sometimes men need to be told exactly what they need to do. She asked why men buy their mothers a present on mpther's day - because they know their mom would be pissed if they didn't - it made sense to me. So the day after mother's day I told him how upset I was and how it would have been nice if he helped DS make me a card or even just let me get some rest and have a nice day. This year he remembered. Maybe you could tell your DH what it is that you need? I've been doing a lot of that lately and I find that it helps me to stop harboring resentment towards DH (something I have had problems with in the past). I just wanted to share what worked for me.

I hope your day gets better

[Corri]

ITA, Jilian! It feels funny, telling DH what I want him to do (shouldn't he just KNOW? ), but after a few years 'how to make me feel special' has finally sunk in. We had a HUGE blowout fight just before one of my birthdays, when he was busily playing helpless; I finally just screamed at him that all I wanted was "a party I don't have to plan, a cake I didn't have to bake, and a kitchen I don't have to clean!" And now that's what I get every time, aong with a gift - a DH-made meal of my choice and/or cake. It's not terribly inventive, but it's nice nevertheless.

Willo, I'm sorry you're feeling let down. Is there some way you can sit down with him at some point and just tell him how you feel? I don't recommend the screaming-argument method; it worked, but wasn't worth the stress. But he may feel very relieved not having to guess at what would make you feel good. s

[wombatclay]

Hugs willo...I'm sorry mother's day is such a downer. Holidays and "special days" really aren't as much fun once you're a grown up, you know? Somehow they just don't have the same joy in them.

This year has been pretty rough around each and every holiday...imbolc, beltane, turkey day, christmas, my birthday, Dh's birthday...every time a special day rolls around we're either sick (DH spent my b-day in the ER) or there's some sort of family stress with attached blow-up or something gets in the way and we miss the holiday completely.

Today we're going out to dinner if it kills us...we've been trying to get to a local restaurant for a "Clay related special day" for almost a year now and gods help the eprson place or thing that gets in my way. I WILL have dinner at Maxie's tonight, even if this means pushing the babe out in the dining area!

But yeah, sometimes I wish DH didn't need to be "told" so bluntly to "do this" or that. I want him to just be inspired on his own to do something extra, instead of feeling like I have to ask for a special day.

Sigh...still...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!
MAY WE ALL HAVE AT LEAST A MOMENT OF MAMA-JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[awallrising]

[QUOTE=wombatclay;8110288]Hugs willo...I'm sorry mother's day is such a downer. Holidays and "special days" really aren't as much fun once you're a grown up, you know? Somehow they just don't have the same joy in them.

:

Willo- Sorry you're feeling blue. I find it really annoying that my DH needs to be told basic stuff sometimes (like that he can't play video games with every spare second of his time & ignore me). I have to say that he did spend all day running errands with me yesterday, is going to see my family today & let me pick some flowers as a present. Then again, my Mom has been gone a little over a year (she died unexpectedly at 59 right in front of me) & he knows I'm having a really really hard time.

My advice is this, if you can be calm, tell DH how disappointed you are about how he handled Mother's Day. If you end up crying or getting mad, that's ok though. Sometimes, I have to cry or get mad for DH get it.

DH loves you, unfortunately he's a guy & they are just clueless sometimes. Aggravating but true.

There's plenty of time left in the day. Focus on something positive (like the gorgeous weather) and try to uplift your spirits somehow.

[Shell_Ell]

I can totally relate to most of that post. My husband was raised Jehovah's Witness, so holidays are pretty much just another day to him. It made me really sad this year on my birthday. He didn't even SAY Happy Birthday. It wasn't about getting a gift. It would have just been nice to have been acknowledged.

That was less than two weeks ago so I've been preparing myself to not be completely let down by Mother's Day, but it's hard not to be. I don't expect a gift or even a card. I expect him to acknowledge that I have spent the past two and a half years bearing, nursing, caring for his two children.

I too am lucky to have a husband who's around, hard working, and great with our son. But I'll admit that holidays are a total downer.

Just posting this let loose a ton of emotion and tears. It really does suck!

[herbmama3-7]

Happy Mothers day!! hugs to those having a hard day.

I have learned over the years that even though my DH is very well meaning and very sweet, we are both happier if I just say exactly what I want. I told him a week ago that the only thing I wanted was to go and get a manicure and pedicure, and would your believe it he had to ask me again what it was I wanted half way through the week because he forgot: . Anyway I was not annoyed at it, just used it as an oportunity to lay a fun guilt trip on him . However he was very eager to let me go and do this and he is not stressed out with trying to do/get the perfect mothers day gift for me. I even had to come up with the gift idea for HIS mother, but made him think of one thing to add to it, which was a cute idea. I made him choose, but I had no problem finding it and buying it. Anyway I guess my point is that what a pp said, sometimes being very clear and telling them exactly what we want or what needs to get done works. Try not to have too many expectations as they generally haven't got a clue All that said I love my DH dearly, he just needs help occasionally.
Hope everyone can find joy for at leaste a moment.

[wombatclay]

Yeah...and with my DH (and the ADHD) it's not just a matter of telling, it's more or less a matter of doing it myself. Though he brought home a bunch of roses for me this morning! Of course, he said he was going out to pick up some nyquil (he and dd now have colds! just as I'm getting better!) and he'd be back in 20 minutes...an hour and a half later he's back. With the Nyquil, roses, chocolate, and a card.

Still...I'm holding out for that dinner!

[willoLevin]

Well, guys, I'm feeling much better now than this morning. Really, I cried off and on pretty much until DH got home from karate around noon.

But I did talk to him about it, and even confessed that I can remember hating EVERY mother's day I've had. Now that really threw him for a loop, and I was mildly hysterical, and he felt guilty, so it was kind of stupid and emotional and messy.

After that, we planted the few plants I bought this year (impatiens and tomatoes) and got the watering system hooked up for the hanging baskets I got (for our anniversary and for Mother's Day) for the front porch.

Then I had a little nap and then DH and I sat and watched several hours of recorded tv shows while DS napped. Romantic? Exciting? Nope--but I think I just really wanted ATTENTION!

And we went for a walk to the beach and got some ice cream for me, so that helped, too.

Wombat-- I was sure your story was going to be that your DH brought home roses but forgot his Nyquil. I'm glad that went well after all. How are you feeling?

Last night was even better for me, with only mild sore throat pain, and I'm down to the occasional cough, only mildly irritating if I'm trying to talk or sing. DH still feels pretty bad, and had to go to the couch in the middle of the night to control his coughing, but I think we are going to live.

Let us all remain fully healthy until AT LEAST having labored, birthed, and survived those first exhausting newborn weeks.

--willo

[wombatclay]

Willo- glad things perked up! My throat feels fine, but I'm still very hoarse...and if I start coughing I tend to keep on coughing for a few minutes. Also, my ears are still a bit blocked up so my sense of balance is off and it's giving me that "my head is wrapped in cotton" feel. It's tough to read to dd, and the bedtime songs are pretty croaky. But we'll live!

I think dd and dh have a different bug so my real hope is that I don't catch this one as well! I think Roro and I have been through enough so maybe the universe will have pity on us.

We went to the friends of the library book sale today (third largest in the country and something I'ce done almost every year since I was 5) and got a few books. And we did do dinner at Maxies, so even though I ate WAY too much I'm a happy camper. And dh is soooooo close to having the family bedroom done...we're going to be sleeping in there tonight without fail (in part because he's piled all sorts of things up in the current family bedroom and we can't get in the door. So dd may be in for a late night...