What causes autism? - Page 5

[Individuation]

Originally Posted by Finch

As much as that makes me cringe a little, I can sort of understand it. We're protective of eachother here, and it has happened on more than one occasion that someone comes in here spouting off a bunch of sanctimonious or unhelpful crap, simply because they think they know it all, yet they don't have a SN child. The same thing happens in other specialty forums here, where the posters have a history of being belittled, attacked, chastised, etc., and that specialty forum was created to be a haven. You naturally want to protect the haven, kwim?

I will say this....on the 2 other boards I was on before I came here, the SN board was private, much like the abuse survivors board, and any old joe couldn't just wander in and start posting. I can see the benefits of both styles...here, moms who have an as yet undiagnosed sn child can come here and freely ask for help and opinions without having to go through a mod. At the same time, the posters still have to defend the fort, per se, from people who are here to do nothing but display their know-it-all-ness or spout their superior parenting tips to us sn parents who obviously screwed up because we have sn children (some people really do think that way....).

It's a hard line to walk sometimes. Like the whole vax thing, I guess.

I also want to mention that this is one of the few boards where I've EVER seen autistic adults and parents of autistic children get along. As an adult on the spectrum, I sometimes get a little tense about things I read here, and there are threads I don't reply to because it would start a pointless fight.

However, the level of mutual respect here is really hard-won, and I don't like when someone who has a really strong agenda sort of shows up here to promote it, without realizing that there's been a lot of work done by everyone to make sure we all get along. Things like the Chelation Wars, or the Great 'Autism Speaks' Argument of March 2007, or the ABA vs Son-Rise vs Leave-them-alone-and-let-them-be Disputes have helped me, for one, realize that someone can disagree with me and not be evil.

Do I wish some of you guys would drop the "disorder" part of "ASD"? Do I worry about autistic children being labeled as somehow "lesser" or "broken." Sure. But as a disabled person, I understand the challenges and marginalization that we all face, and I know you guys deal with many of the same issues as parents. You guys are really not the enemy--and I'm sure you all fight various assumptions made about you and your parenting, every day, because you have kids on the spectrum. So, I stay out of arguments in which I'd really just be ranting, and I notice that some other posters who disagree with me do let me have my say without jumping down my throat either. So thanks.

We have a nice "safe place" here. I'd like to keep it that way.

[MyTwoAs]

Very well stated Individuation. I have a question...what is an ASC? I've seen it used before but have somehow missed what the C stands for. With my son I never say Asperger's Disorder, I say Asperger's Syndrome. I dislike the term disorder but never knew what else to call it when speaking about my daughter.

We do have a very *safe* place here and I am so thankful that there are adult autistics here - I'm not looking for a cure for my kids so it is helpful for me to hear from those that are living the life my children may live one day.

[Individuation]

Originally Posted by GC_Mom

Very well stated Individuation. I have a question...what is an ASC?

Autism Spectrum Condition.

Autistics are in general not a PC bunch, but most of the ones I know prefer "condition" to "disorder" (plus, I study Catholic theology and "disorder" has heavy connotations to me!).

[MyTwoAs]

Thanks, I couldn't figure it out for the life of me.

[crl]

Originally Posted by Finch

As much as that makes me cringe a little, I can sort of understand it. We're protective of eachother here, and it has happened on more than one occasion that someone comes in here spouting off a bunch of sanctimonious or unhelpful crap, simply because they think they know it all, yet they don't have a SN child.

[snip]

It's a hard line to walk sometimes. Like the whole vax thing, I guess.

I do see that. And I decided not to take it personally and just respond with a friendly explanation that my DS is special needs. (Even though I had already posted about his special needs and had been trying to post regularly so people would get to know me.) But if it had happened to me on a bad day, I'm not sure I would have come back. Which would have been unfortunate as there is so much good information and support here overall. So I guess I'm just thinking that in addition to us wanting "vistors" to be kind, I think we should also be welcoming, which I think this forum mostly is. So I'll stop rambling about this now.

Thanks.

[JohannasGarden]

Since I don't believe that there is any "radically helpful, safe, and effective" thing for the vast majority of autistics except love, understanding, and support in finding the right level (i.e. not overwhelming) level of challenge in their lives, what I've come to be concerned with in the whole "causation" thing is the Byron Katie-style question "What is the effect of having that thought?"

Individuation used to have in her sig a quote from a blogger that said something like "How would it effect a person to be told that a major aspect of their personality is some sort of damage or defect?" That's not nearly as good as the real quote, but anyway, given that I don't believe we're really dealing in Truth with a capital T in autism theories at this time, I think it's legit to ask "what is it good for me to believe or not believe? What makes me a better parent? What helps me live with more dignity and joy?"

Sherri