Tandem Troubles and Reverse Cycling---About to Lose it

[mowilli3]

I'm too tired to try to figure it out on my own and I'm almost ready to wean my 2YO because it's getting too much for me. Here's my problem:

2 weeks ago, I took my 2YO out of daycare to be home with DS (5MO) and me. We have tandemed since the beginning, and DD was demanding more time and nursing. I thought she needed to be with me more... Anyway, now she wants to nurse every time DS does and if I tell her to wait until "daddy gets home", she gets upset and sometimes hits the baby. Hitting is not allowed, so I end up reprimanding her almost every day.

On top of that, DS is so in love with DD, when she starts talking, he immediately turns to look and smile at her. He can't nurse well with her here. So now he's nursing every 2 hours at night like a newborn even though I nurse him 4-5 times during the day.

I have plenty of milk. I don't understand why he's nursing so much. I don't know how to distract DD while I'm nursing him. I don't know how to get him back to sleeping at night. I'd appreciate some suggestions. I'm considering weaning DD, but I think she must need something that nursing provides.

[velveeta]

Had to offer a . tandeming is a special kind of hard, isn't it? I am still figuring out the biology behind my feelings. I have such a strong aversion to my 4 yo DS nursing most of the time. And of course, his desire to nurse is inversely proportional to my aversion.

I wish I had advice for you. I just have support. It is so hard. You are doing great. I guess my advice is give yourself a break whenever you can -- take a bath. Watch some TV. to you

[mowilli3]

Thank you, Jean.

[mama24-7]

Sounds like you are both going through a tough time. Would it be possible for you and the youngest to sleep in a different room, even for part of the night? Has your oldest always nursed through the night, meaning was he nightweaned before this? I know w/ my dd, I used the "mommy's breasts need rest to make more milk."

You are a wonderful mother for continuing to nurse both your children and for reaching out for help at this time!

Sus

[mowilli3]

It's my baby who has reverse cycled. My older sleeps in her room now across the hall from us. DS sleeps with DH and me.