Originally Posted by Ron_Low
To be clear, NOBODY except the boy himself should ever try to retract his foreskin. This even applies to doctors and nurses who (if you're in the US) may be ignorant of the normal anatomy since many studied from anatomy texts which depicted the penis as if babies are born circumcised.
BE PREPARED to forcefully assert and insist on no forced retraction with caregivers and health professionals.
This is SO true. Our 5 yo had surgery on his testicles in January. At the consult, the surgeon told me he "needed" to have his foreskin retracted, that he wasn't developing "normally" (pinhole opening). She asked--in a voice that assumed my answer would be "yes"--about infections and rashes.
None, I said. In fact, less than his circumcised older brother.
That threw her for a loop. She went on to explain she could retract my 5 yo during the surgery, he'd feel no pain, blah blah blah.
We said no, drew up a document for his file (we would have switched surgeons but she's top in the region for the type of surgery needed), and made it verbally clear as well as in print that he would not be retracted. She was totally fine with it--didn't even push one bit once I told her we followed Paul Fleiss's book.
In March we told our son that if he wanted to, he could gently pull on the foreskin, to help it pull back (he had been asking about what was under his foreskin).
Three weeks ago he was in the bath and said, "Look! Mama! I found my gumdrop." The foreskin had retracted over the tip, though not fully. It was NOT like that after the surgery.
So my son's "not normal" foreskin did just fine on its own, and nature took its course (with a little help from him
The initial push to retract was so weird to me. Even our PCP (whom we consulted after that first urology meeting, because we were afraid she'd be a "renegade" surgeon and do it without our permission) wondered why she brought it up, when it had zero to do with our son's surgery.
So--just wash the outside, leave it alone, and research anything that doesn't sound right.