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Would you leave your child in a hotel room? - Page 2

post #21 of 262
I couldn't leave my child alone in a hotel room, even five minutes. I have walked down the hall while he was sleeping and even that was awful enough. As for babysitters, I have used babysitting services twice while staying at a hotel, both were wonderful, fully qualified, had long service with the company, and put me at ease when I met them. The first time my son was asleep and we were a block away, the second time he was awake but fell asleep after she told stories. Both were older, grandmother types, and had mothered a few children of their own, and were very sweet and gentle. I had full confidence in them and he was well taken care of, of course we paid through the nose for their services, but I was okay with that, we are very picky, asked lots of questions, they were screened, and only took people we were totally comfortable with. I don't see anything wrong with that, and I think saying that a child is in more danger with a sitter (mind you a well qualified sitter) than being left alone in a hotel room, is pretty misguided. I would say the opposite is true.
post #22 of 262
Quote:
Originally Posted by Igraine View Post
Bad choice...I would never leave my children of that age alone.

What were they thinking! Maybe I would pay to bring my babysitter on vacation with us if my dh and I felt that strongly that we had to have time alone (have not felt that strongly about it to this point). At least I know the person is trustworthy and my kids would already be comfortable with her.

My heart certainly goes out to this family. I certainly do not need to add to any of the blame I am sure they currently feel. I will keep Madeleine in my prayers. Poor baby.
You asked what were they thinking--and I am wondering (not to single out this post, or anything like that) if perhaps this is a cultural thing? I know that in some countries it is perfectly normal to leave your baby totally out in the open (meaning outdoors, not out naked or anything like that) in a stroller asleep OUTSIDE a department store while mum goes in to shop.
Perhaps this is something that would be considered 'normal'? In the US--forget it, kids (even at age 13) can get abducted from small towns as they hop off of a school bus (in reference to the two boys who were recently rescued from an abductor).
Regardless it's heartbreaking.
post #23 of 262
Quote:
Originally Posted by GranoLLLy-girl View Post
You asked what were they thinking--and I am wondering (not to single out this post, or anything like that) if perhaps this is a cultural thing? I know that in some countries it is perfectly normal to leave your baby totally out in the open (meaning outdoors, not out naked or anything like that) in a stroller asleep OUTSIDE a department store while mum goes in to shop.
Perhaps this is something that would be considered 'normal'? In the US--forget it, kids (even at age 13) can get abducted from small towns as they hop off of a school bus (in reference to the two boys who were recently rescued from an abductor).
Regardless it's heartbreaking.
I think it's been established that this is not an accepted cultural practice. Even if it were, it doesn't make it smart.

It's accepted cultural practice to circumcise in the US. Still inexcusable.
post #24 of 262
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrunchyTamara View Post
But I would never, ever blame these poor, poor parents for anything of this! Never. I so, so feel for them.
Um, why? Why wouldn't you blame someone for making a bad decision?

It's an awful thing, of course, and they must be going through hell. But I blame them.
post #25 of 262
I left my DD alone in our hotel room that adjoined to my mom's with the door propped open between them. But to leave the room and go somewhere else? I don't think I would be comfortable with that. I have a family friend who for their DC's whole life has been leaving him and taking the baby monitor to go across the street and have a drink/dinner with their close friends/neighbors. It always bothered me... What if the batteries died or something? Don't like it.
post #26 of 262
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post
We stayed at an inn with my then-18 mo in March. The dining room was down a corridor and around the corner from our room and we could see our room from the dining room window, across a garden. The monitor reached, just barely. After a couple of toddler-ful dinners it was very very tempting to leave him there as it would barely take more time to get there than it would from the basement to his room in our house.
i think i could deal with this, but only with the monitor. when we stayed at my mom's house, i used to get freaked if the monitor crapped out while i was right down by the fire, although his window was open and he was used to the house layout and everything. the hotel suite is also a fabulous idea. (not as expensive as it sounds either... if we can afford it. )
post #27 of 262
it's most definitely not a cultural thing. i was born and raised in the UK (left 4years ago) and would never dream of doing such a thing. my mum has been keeping me informed of the news coverage over there. it's an awful, awful thing to have happened to that innocent child, but i can blame noone but the parents. it wasnt the first time she was left alone in the room with her twin sibs either : makes me sick just thinking about it
post #28 of 262
I would be okay with anything in range of the monitor with a baby monitor, and with a qualified babysitter employed or contracted by the hotel (licensed, with a background check on file and lots of experience). Even the checking-every-half-hour with the door to the room in sight from my seat in the restaurant, possibly. But down the street, out of sight AND hearing AND unsupervised? No way.
post #29 of 262
I haven't read all the replies, but I kept thinking about this every time I see something in the news about this story. I keep thinking, but, but they left their kids alone? And the the BBC just mentions that fact in passing, and it seems odd to me.

What an awful story.
post #30 of 262
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretfan View Post
it's most definitely not a cultural thing. i was born and raised in the UK (left 4years ago) and would never dream of doing such a thing. my mum has been keeping me informed of the news coverage over there. it's an awful, awful thing to have happened to that innocent child, but i can blame noone but the parents. it wasnt the first time she was left alone in the room with her twin sibs either : makes me sick just thinking about it
Really? I blame the person who took the little girl.

I met a French woman in Thailand who had a DD about that age. She would leave her asleep in the hotel room and go down to the bar/restaurant for a bite. -They didn't have room service. It was pre-my-DD so I asked nicely about if her DD woke up and she said it was completely normal and not a big deal. I would not be comfortable with it though.

I am heartsick for the parents and the little girl, I hope they find her alive and well - soon!
post #31 of 262
no no no. i'd never leave my children alone in a hotel room! i feel so sorry for the parents, because this is probably their worst nightmare, but they shouldn't have left them alone. this could have been easily prevented, which is the saddest part. I hope they find her soon!
post #32 of 262
It would depend on the age, how far outside the room I was going, and for how long. A 3 yr old alone while I ate dinner a few hundred yards away, no. But I have left my then 5 and 2 yr olds in the room alone while I went out into the hall. I was closer to them and away for a shorter time than I would have been if they had been in their rooms at home while I was downstairs.
post #33 of 262
Quote:
Originally Posted by lalaland42 View Post
Really? I blame the person who took the little girl.
I met a French woman in Thailand who had a DD about that age. She would leave her asleep in the hotel room and go down to the bar/restaurant for a bite. -They didn't have room service. It was pre-my-DD so I asked nicely about if her DD woke up and she said it was completely normal and not a big deal. I would not be comfortable with it though.

I am heartsick for the parents and the little girl, I hope they find her alive and well - soon!
Exactly.

It may very well be that the decision that those parents made is not the same one that many of us would have made, but who among us hasn't made a bad decision at some point with regards to our child? But for the grace of god, that could be any one of us. It takes a split second & sometimes the parents are right there, with their attention turned for an instant.

There are preditors out there. When they strike, it's somehow comforting to point fingers at the victims. It makes us feel like we are not vulnerable. We wouldn't do whatever it was that that other person did that allowed this preditor the opportunity to pounce.

Victims are exactly that. Don't point fingers at them unless you've walked in their shoes.
post #34 of 262
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
I'd never consider pushing my American values onto people from other areas- it sounds like this was a British family?
I said it in the other thread, but there is no difference between British and American values on something like this. (circumcision, yes. Spanking, yes. But supervising your child, no.)

You would get the same cross-section of responses to the question posed on this thread in the UK as you would get here. Most people would not dream of leaving their child in a hotel room. A few people would consider doing it (but would probably never admit that here.)

This is not to say that I agree in any way in pointing fingers of blame at the parents here. I have never left my child unattended in a hotel room, nor would I ever do so. However, I'm not perfect, and but for the grace of God.....

I could not profess to have never had any of my children in a situation where something terrible could have happened. They could have fallen, got run over, got burned... any number of things. I've grabbed hands before they've touched hot stoves. I've dashed out after a toddler in the street. Just tonight I ran through a crowded restaurant after my fast 2 yo. Earlier today I had to yell at my 4 yo to stop before she ran into the street (to pick up a pine cone she'd spotted there.) Any one of those things could have ended up in disaster, and people could then be pointing fingers at me. I'm human. I do the best I can to forsee any situation of danger, but the truth is, we can't guarantee that our children will never get hurt.

Heck, I have a friend whose ds fell into the Grand Canyon, yet she's one of the most sensible people I know. Her son was OK, but he might not have been! Her mistake was not telling him that the other side of the wall was a sheer drop. How could she forsee that a 9 yo would climb the wall in a split second? As it is, it is a great dinner-party story for the family. But it could have been the end of family life as they know it.

My heart goes out to this family, and to anyone else who has suffered such a dreadful situation. I am not smug enough to think that something like this could not happen to my family. Maybe not something identical, but something equally as dreadful.

Praying for that little girl.....
post #35 of 262
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kymholly View Post
Exactly.

It may very well be that the decision that those parents made is not the same one that many of us would have made, but who among us hasn't made a bad decision at some point with regards to our child? But for the grace of god, that could be any one of us. It takes a split second & sometimes the parents are right there, with their attention turned for an instant.

There are preditors out there. When they strike, it's somehow comforting to point fingers at the victims. It makes us feel like we are not vulnerable. We wouldn't do whatever it was that that other person did that allowed this preditor the opportunity to pounce.

Victims are exactly that. Don't point fingers at them unless you've walked in their shoes.
Thank you. My thoughts, exactly.
post #36 of 262
I don't think I'm reading this right??? :

They left........
a 3yr old..........
alone........
with two 2yr olds....
in a hotel room
300 ft away

That don't sound very bright.........
post #37 of 262
On the news here it went from being a few hundred feet to like 50 feet or something from hotel to apartment and they showed the distance and it was not several hundred feet, but I guess that is irrelevant just skewed media coverage. Some mornings 'womens' shows here have been discussing this and the fact that they were doctors came up and how if it had been a single-parent there might have been a different reaction on the 'responsibility' front from the public and media. I think the parents made a poor choice and should have hired a reputable baby-sitter so they could sit and have their meal. No it's just not safe to leave dc that young and I guess they got complacent. It's sick, looks well planned and the parents are suffering immeasurably regardless of anything else and the poor wee girl: , they are very unlikely to see her again, but we can hope she turns up, safe. According to the media a businessman has put up a large reward like a million I think. The planning that goes into some of these abductions will be extensive and it's just not safe to leave dc unnattended ever.
post #38 of 262
No, never
post #39 of 262
No, I would never leave any young child alone in a hotel room. I wouldn't care if I was in one of those places where ppl do leave babies in strollers outside alone, I still wouldn't. Besides the risk of abduction, I wouldn't want my child to wake up and be alone and not know where I am. Can you imagine how scary that would be?

I have a friend who went to las vegas with her husband and two children (ages 10 mons. and 2 1/2 at the time) and left them up in the room to go gamble down in the hotels casino. They were on the 18th floor, so it would take them at least 5 min. to get from the ground floor up to their floor (seeing as how it's a busy casino and the elevator stops frequently). They didn't even have a monitor, they just laid them in the center of the bed and left. She told me that they did go and check in about every hour or so, and they were down there from 9pm to around 3 in the morning. :
post #40 of 262
I would never leave my child alone at a hotel!
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