Originally Posted by Cutie Patootie
First off, the parents are obviously not of the ap/natural family living sort, at least in this aspect. They must be of the "CIO is okay group" because an ap parent could not fathom leaving their child alone, in a strange place to boot, while they are out having dinner...in the next room, or the next building over. Seriously, what was their frame of thought?
They checked on the kids every 1/2 hour?! A 3yo and 2 babies? What if they woke up 1 minute after a 1/2 hour check. The parents were obviously okay with them crying alone in an unfamiliar place for at least 29 minutes or they wouldn't have left them there. So though I don't place blame on them for the person who took their little girl
I do not have respect for the way they chose to parent their children in this aspect. It shows a great deal of selfishness, which is what I commonly think of people who allow their little ones to cry alone in a room afraid for a 1/2 hour.
You know, I had a feeling that is where some the hostility towards the McCanns was coming from with some people...the assumption that because they weren't cosleeping then they must not be AP, therefore they must not be very good parents. Thank you for being honest.
IME, just because some kids sleep through the night and don't wake up every 30 minutes does not mean that the parents practiced CIO. Just because parents aren't still cosleeping when their kids are 2 and nearly 4 does not mean the parents let them CIO to learn to sleep on their own.
I am sure the McCanns know about their children's sleep patterns better than anyone else, just like I know my daughter's better than anyone else. She most likely either wouldn't wake up at all through the night or would wake up once but not till after midnight. It would be reasonable for me to assume that I could eat dinner without worring that she would wake up.
I am guessing these parents made the assumption that their kids wouldn't wake up. Considering their ages, I don't see how that would be difficult to believe. If these parents were all about CIO and were selfish to the core, they probably would not have bothered to get up to check on their kids at all.
I am not saying that I think the McCanns made a great decision, and even they have now admitted they made a mistake. But I can totally see how they would have thought it was safe at the time. I saw an aerial view of the resort last night on the news and compared it to the map I keep seeing on BBC. The aeriel view made it look even closer than what I was imagining from the map. They were basically across the pool from the apartment. ABC said 150 ft although that number is ever-changing, and I have heard anything from 50ft to 300 ft. Either way, from that aeriel view, it looked pretty close. Also, I read this article
about how idyllic the resort is. I could see how it would be easy to believe bad things never happen there. As a matter of fact, according to a resort rep, they never do, at least before this happened. Another article quoted a couple of parents at the resort saying they did the same thing the McCanns did all the time. Also, several members of the staff were quoted to say that the practice is very common.
I think in the context of where they were, these parents made what seemed to be a reasonable decision to them. Statisically speaking, what happend was so rare, I can understand why it wouldn't be something on the parent's radar. It's really easy to see now how the decision wasn't a good one, but like the old saying goes, hindsight is 20/20.
Also, to those who blame the McCanns, but then say you yourself have left the room to go get coffee and a muffin or even went for quick trip to the car, and you think that is okay, I would think twice before you judge. The authorities in this case suspect the kidnapper was are part of an international pedophile ring and that this was a "to order" kidnapping. He was a pro working with other pros. All he needed was a few minutes to jimmy the window, snatch Madeleine, and leave out the front door. The authorites believe the kidnapper was stalking and waiting for his moment. If you were at a hotel and decided to go get your breakfast down the hall and around the corner every morning, that would have been a great chance for a stalker to have made their move on your child. Even better, while you were out at the car, they could have pulled the fire alarm denying you easy access back into the building and giving them a perfect chance to run from the building with a screaming child without anyone thinking anything of it.
I think we as parents make decision everyday that risk our kids lives. Some out of necessity, some out of selfishness, some out of just down right fatigue, and some because that is just life and we are human. Analizing how we can do better and learn form other's mistakes is a great idea and very constructive. I just don't see what the point is in assigning blame to these parents and making value judgements on their parenting style. Just because some parents practice AP/NFL does not protect them or their children from harm. I think that is really naive to believe so, but maybe it brings some people comfort.
If you have read this far, thank you and sorry for the novel. I don't expect anyone to change their mind. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is mine. Of course it could change based on any new information that comes to light. I just felt the need to put it out there.