Ah max...
No need to mark the time you agreed with NM...we are ALL here BECAUSE of our commitment to being the best parents we can be, right?...and to support one another as we walk that path. We have many different perspectives, ideas, and understandings born out of our personal experiences of life, but we all agree we want the best for our children. There is more in common than we all realize.
It was a real challenge to teach my dd and my both my ds-es to watch the experiences of their peers, and observe how those experiences felt to their peers in the longrun. It is hard to train kids to think critically about peer pressure stuff whether around sexuality or drugs or whatever. But the lessons gleaned from their peers experiences are valuable. (My dd's best friend is currently due with a baby out of wedlock, in Oct. The dad is a cokehead and very immature, wanted this girl to abort, was all about how this would ruin his life, etc.,...there has been ALOT to observe and consider in this unfolding, believe me.
But it can be successful. My dd is 20, (a virgin; not necessarily the best way, but is her way) who has had some boyfriends, very much enjoys partying with friends, also has some very healthy boundaries. I like to think that I and dh had something to do with the positives.
Max...daddies DO have alot to do with daughters' self esteem also, and I love how my dd and dh love each other. They have a great relationship....dads really have a wonderful and unique opportunity. Your dd is lucky to have you. My dad was a good human but had lots of issues and unfortunately, I did not have what my dd has with my dh...and your dd has in you, max. What a great opportunity to make a difference!
NM...I worked at school also...it is one thing that I will always be glad I did because it offered me insight and made me available to teachers and my kids and other kids too. I always try to remember how it felt to be a teen, never have shown disdain for or tried to minimize the emotional rollercoaster ride teens seem to be on. I take them seriously and have deep respect for that time in life. (At the same age as my dd is now, I was married for a couple years and had had a couple miscarriages.) I know what you mean about girls and what they go through often nowadays. It is heartbreaking sometimes, but that is just my observation.
My daughter is a fab beauty and built like ...well she could easily be a model. She dresses somewhat provocatively for evenings out if appropriate, but tastefully and modestly always, because she doesn't feel the need to look as other girls do locally...that skanky look just turns her off completely. And she thinks "mystery" and modesty is more attractive, really.
She is more sophisticated and her goals, while including marriage and children, also include feeding her mind with diverse experience. She has been to Europe already in her life so has a broader cultural experience. I am glad we were able to give her that. Her employer takes the whole staff on a trip annually. One year it was Europe, another, Vegas, another Hawaii. This year is the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas, I think it is. She will likely go on that trip.
She works in a rather sophisticated restaurant-resort atmosphere (and has since she was about 14 beginning as a busser and progressing through the ranks) so has developed professionalism in dress and experience with interacting with the adult public. She enjoys her work as a hostess and she is very, very good at her job. She would like to train as a bartender. (dubious work to some, perhaps, but pays well for a college student, and is work that can be found many, many places globally)
Much to her surprise, her peers seem to look up to her BECAUSE of her choices and confidence and sense of self. Like I said, it may be illusion and ego, but I do like to think that she was raised in a good way. I have really had to "fake it" that way, in raising her to do well with math and science, unlike me who flunked out and felt very inadequate alot in school like my mom.
Another issue is how boys are raised to see/value women. Let me say that my boys, who are really pretty much men now, seek out companionship with women who have minds to share. Now it's pretty rare hereabouts, but I don't expect either of them will stay here forever. It's tough for my boys to observe how girls conduct themselves with guys. How girls dress is part of that too.
I wonder if folks raise kids with any thought for those who will form relationships with them... whether sex partners, or life-partners, etc...or try to instill relationship skills and self esteem that help create success and happiness, and health in those things.
Anyhow...we all have our views and ways...but we all want what is healthy and good for our kids and their happiness. We all have much in common that way. The changes that must come about make this a more user-friendly society have to begin somewhere. I like to think that we are here doing just that...making the changes through our sharing and support of one another as we do our best. Our girls and boys need alot of support to become all that they are potentially capable of, and honoring one another's gender and sexuality is important. Discussion like this help to open the way.
I say let kids be children...sexual beings from birth, yes, but in innocence...long as they can in simplicity, because life gets very complex once they choose to include more adult attire and appearance.
Thanks for your time...Joyce in the mts.
T This mall is maybe 5 minutes away from my house......just down the street on Democracy Boulevard from my birthing center! Ah, suburbia.
Uh huh. 
:
: Funny how you have to pay someone to advertise for them...
