Flor, you have been one of the great voices of reason on this board in general, not just in this thread. It sounds as if things are working the way you want them to, well better than you had feared anyway. I just wanted to remind you that the very worst that could happen here is she could get 50/50.
50/50 is what it is. its half time with mom and half with dad. say what you will about biomom, I'm sure its all true, no matter how much she fails in her role, she is all hes got. That you are, by your marriage, able to give him your own mother love is as much a blessing to him as could be imagined, perhaps even allowing his relationship with biomom to flourish despite the despicably (IMNSHO) low priority she places on it. Your gift to your stepson is not dependent on her being a poor mother, I know you know that. I can see your concern for him and your awareness of how confusing her behavior is to him. I wish she had the same interest in his well being that you show. No matter that, though, no matter the disaster of her marriage, nor the torn loyalties of your dss, no matter it all..........
if you can remember that the best/worst that can come is 50/50
and consider anything above that a bonus,
then this seems almost like a good thing
Why any parent would agree to anything less that what they were able to get without impinging upon the other parents time, that is 50/50 custody, is completely beyond me and shows somewhat where her mind is.
I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that your dss is going to thrive despite the poor life condition of his biomom. I know this because of the way in which i know you. You are clear, you are strong, you are flexible.
keep on keeping on, momma.
Thinking the best for you,