Romea’s Birth Story
Our first daughter was born over two years ago. Sophia had turned breech at 37.5 weeks and my OBGYN said “Come in right now, we’re doing a C-Section”. After that experience and some tremendous difficulties with healing, I decided that my next birth would be attended by a Midwife instead. My first choice was to give birth at the Midwifery Center at SF General Hospital, since they support VBAC’s, however when I toured the Labor and Delivery Rooms something didn’t feel right. The perfectly straightened bed with stirrups, the muted colors and the hard linoleum floor reminded me of a Motel 6. Except here the room looked just a bit too ready for any kind of panic-stricken disaster. The C-Section had left me both physically and emotionally scarred and I now hoped to create the birth of my choice for our second baby. Home seemed more and more like a possibility, but was it safe?
I had been undecided for a while when I met Lis, a Registered Nurse Midwife, at her presentation about homebirths. She seemed warm and inviting and the thought of giving birth at home became more and more real. After a couple of meetings with her and lots of research online I made my decision to VBAC at home, even though most of the people I know declared me either to be “really, really brave” or thought I am potentially risking both mine and the baby’s life. One of the few who genuinely supported my choice was Laurie, the midwife I had been seeing at SF General Hospital. She was unhesitatingly excited to hear of my choice. Laurie cracked a big smile and gave me a big hug before she closed my chart at my last visit there - I was almost 7 months now.
My path now opened up to what would become a life-changing experience. Lis, a soft-spoken, open-hearted and dedicated midwife, came to our house for the prenatal visits. She spent a lot of time with me, as we discussed every question and possibility I could come up with, never suggesting a path that I wasn’t comfortable with. Sophia looked forward to every visit with Lis and learned how babies grow and how they would be born. Now at 2.5 years old she knows more than some teenagers!
Just to feel prepared I contacted the Fire Department to see how long an emergency transport would take in case of a uterine rupture, even though they were a rare occurrence, especially in drug-free births. The answer was 7 minutes to get to the hospital, pretty darn fast. I felt I covered my bases in case something were to happen.
On April’s Fools Day Sophia had gone to her grandparents house for her weekly visit and I was now 2 days past my official due date. The weather was breezy and the forest behind our house beckoned me for a walk. I made my way up to the look-out without the usual contractions that made me stay away from exercise for the last 4 months. It was all uphill for 20 minutes and it somehow seemed easy. I sat on a bench and watched tourists enjoy the view of Alcatraz. This is where I decided to completely let go of any fear about birthing. I freed myself from any doubt about my ability to give birth naturally, cast any fear of pain during childbirth into the wind. Looking back, that’s exactly what I needed. I hiked back down the hill as if I wasn’t even pregnant, full of vigor and hope.
That night Pete took me out to dinner in Sausalito and we glanced at the full moon reflection as it was rising above the Bay. Right before we left for dinner I had asked him to help me cover the bed with a plastic sheet in case my water broke while I was sleeping. Well, that is exactly what happened that night at 3:44am. I felt a pop, a gush of warm water between my legs and I thought “Here we go!”. Pete helped me to the bathroom. Having read many birth stories on mothering.com, I knew it could be many hours or even days before contractions would begin. Pete went back to sleep, but I was feeling light contractions, as if I was having my period, so I called Lis at around 4:30am. She listened to my descriptions, yes, the water was clear, yes, the mucus plug came with it, only mild contractions, nothing regular, I told her. She suggested to get more sleep until my contractions were more regular and lasting for 1 minute, 4-5 minutes apart.
I also called Nicky, my longtime girlfriend, who offered to be my doula, ready to help with anything and everything. She got ready and later came over with some lovely breakfast bagels.
The strange thing about being in Labor Land is that normal reality just quietly slips away and makes space for another sort of reality in which time does not exist. Our perception changes and reality has fuzzy edges. It seems more like space travel with time warps. Just as our bodies are getting ready to release a new baby towards taking its first breath in life, we mothers are in transcendence. This transcendence is certainly not pain-free. Moaning and groaning and later screaming, powerful waves of contractions crashed over me after a few hours of light contractions. I was reminded of being hit by a rogue wave in Corsica when I was 18, which crashed into me and pushed me to the ocean floor, grinding my open mouth into the sand. I had struggled back to the surface, gasping for air and tried to make it to the safety of the shore, and the fact that I was an athlete and competition swimmer didn’t make a damn of a difference. Neither did it make much of a difference that I had now studied Hynobirthing in preparation for this childbirth. I lay there, on the bed where this baby was blissfully created, and I was clenching Pete’s hands with all my might to channel this pain out of my body. Nicky was expertly applying counter pressure to my back, which seemed to simply separate as if it was a drawbridge opening for a big boat to come through. I couldn’t live or breathe without that counter pressure. That’s when the Hypnobirthing tape really annoyed the heck out of me. The soft words of “painless childbirth” made me really angry. “What a liar”, I thought. All I could do is exist with very little control over my body. Several mind-bending vomit attacks confirmed this feeling.
Lis had taken a break after she told me I was only 1 cm dilated. She expected this to be a normal first vaginal birth where women often take 12 hours to fully dilate.
At the time I was not sure how long my “first stage” labor was, nor did I care, all I could tell is that my contractions got so intense that when Pete called Lis on the phone, I simply announced that I really needed to get into that big blue birthing tub. Lis said it might slow down contractions, but I really didn’t care about anything at this point. All I needed was to get into the water.
About a week before the birth I had to buy this more expensive birthing pool after a party of fat racoons destroyed the little Fishy Pool I had bought for this and stored in the backyard. Even though I was upset at the time, it turned out to be a great thing, as this one was a lot sturdier.
As I sank my aching body into this blue water I became like a weightless cloud on a warm sunny sky. What a relief! The water reflected the sun onto the ceiling above me and I glanced at its wavy pattern between contractions. I was still completely fearless. At one point Pete smiled at me through the blue sides of the tub as my head hang down over the waters edge, but I couldn’t smile back. Words were impossible to form, all I could do was moan, scream and gesture. Nicky leaned over to me and graciously offered a magnificently prepared array of mango slices. I swatted it away like an angry bear in a cage, unable to speak or conform to any form of etiquette. Both Nicky and Pete gave it their all, every second of this birth I felt they were truly there for me, with selfless support and love. That feeling allowed me to be completely present with this birth and open up without fear.
It seemed like there were no breaks in between contractions. Pete called Lis to say how intense it all appeared to have become and she arrived within minutes. She quickly checked my cervix and said :”You’re ready to push! You are fully dilated!” I was in disbelief. I had dilated from 1 cm to 10 cm in JUST ONE HOUR. No wonder I had the feeling that a big container ship was coming through my body. Somehow I had forgotten that I was actually birthing a baby here, that in fact there will be a small living being with wiggly hands and feet coming out of my bottom. Now! Right here! It was a crazy thought. I concentrated and tried to push with the next contraction, screaming again. Lis was on the phone calling the backup midwife Judy, who even after 30 years of midwifery had never seen saw this kind of a fast progress. She was stuck in traffic. Lis called more midwives as she simultaneously explained to me that I should just breathe out with the contractions and use the energy of the breath to push the baby out. That seemed to work much better and in just a few moments the baby was crowning and Lis asked me if I wanted to feel the head. I first said no, as I was hanging on to Pete’s and Nicky’s hands for dear life. I quickly changed my mind and reached down to feel the baby’s head. It was all squishy and soft, definitely a feeling I didn’t expect. On the next hard push the head emerged and within another couple of pushes the baby simply torpedoed out of my body. It was 3:04pm. There she was, a perfect little pink baby girl, and she looked straight into my eyes as soon as she came out of the blue water. Lis lifted her up and quickly placed her on my chest. I was not prepared for Romea’s gaze and just simply noticed it, as I was still in foggy Labor Land. She immediately began testing her new lungs, cried a little and I checked to see if all was there, toes and hands, etc. She was perfect.
After a few minutes Maria, a backup midwife who was close by, arrived and helped with all the things that needed to be done: checking the baby, helping me deliver the placenta, doing some clean-up, checking me for tears (only a small one, no stitches needed).Now Judy arrived from across the Bay, and we had three midwives present! We weighed Romea at a whopping 9 pounds and she also was 21” long with a 14” head. She was a healthy, vibrant and happy baby. I gave her to Pete and he held her for a while, opening his heart to her amazing beauty. Nicky also completely fell in love with Romea, as she later rested on the couch holding her for a long time.
Midwives, especially the ones I had the pleasure of meeting and birthing with, are rare finds in this fear-based American culture of “what if’s” which does not trust the body’s ability to birth naturally anymore. Almost everyone now seems afraid to give birth naturally. My profoundly life-changing experience would have not been possible without the incredible skills of midwifery, which combines the art of guiding a soul towards complete trust with medical/technical knowledge. Life and death are simply raw. Giving birth and dying are undeniably part of our existence and to allow ourselves to be close to the source of all living things, such as giving birth, means we can feel God. Even if God at the moment feels like a big container ship.
Our first daughter was born over two years ago. Sophia had turned breech at 37.5 weeks and my OBGYN said “Come in right now, we’re doing a C-Section”. After that experience and some tremendous difficulties with healing, I decided that my next birth would be attended by a Midwife instead. My first choice was to give birth at the Midwifery Center at SF General Hospital, since they support VBAC’s, however when I toured the Labor and Delivery Rooms something didn’t feel right. The perfectly straightened bed with stirrups, the muted colors and the hard linoleum floor reminded me of a Motel 6. Except here the room looked just a bit too ready for any kind of panic-stricken disaster. The C-Section had left me both physically and emotionally scarred and I now hoped to create the birth of my choice for our second baby. Home seemed more and more like a possibility, but was it safe?
I had been undecided for a while when I met Lis, a Registered Nurse Midwife, at her presentation about homebirths. She seemed warm and inviting and the thought of giving birth at home became more and more real. After a couple of meetings with her and lots of research online I made my decision to VBAC at home, even though most of the people I know declared me either to be “really, really brave” or thought I am potentially risking both mine and the baby’s life. One of the few who genuinely supported my choice was Laurie, the midwife I had been seeing at SF General Hospital. She was unhesitatingly excited to hear of my choice. Laurie cracked a big smile and gave me a big hug before she closed my chart at my last visit there - I was almost 7 months now.
My path now opened up to what would become a life-changing experience. Lis, a soft-spoken, open-hearted and dedicated midwife, came to our house for the prenatal visits. She spent a lot of time with me, as we discussed every question and possibility I could come up with, never suggesting a path that I wasn’t comfortable with. Sophia looked forward to every visit with Lis and learned how babies grow and how they would be born. Now at 2.5 years old she knows more than some teenagers!
Just to feel prepared I contacted the Fire Department to see how long an emergency transport would take in case of a uterine rupture, even though they were a rare occurrence, especially in drug-free births. The answer was 7 minutes to get to the hospital, pretty darn fast. I felt I covered my bases in case something were to happen.
On April’s Fools Day Sophia had gone to her grandparents house for her weekly visit and I was now 2 days past my official due date. The weather was breezy and the forest behind our house beckoned me for a walk. I made my way up to the look-out without the usual contractions that made me stay away from exercise for the last 4 months. It was all uphill for 20 minutes and it somehow seemed easy. I sat on a bench and watched tourists enjoy the view of Alcatraz. This is where I decided to completely let go of any fear about birthing. I freed myself from any doubt about my ability to give birth naturally, cast any fear of pain during childbirth into the wind. Looking back, that’s exactly what I needed. I hiked back down the hill as if I wasn’t even pregnant, full of vigor and hope.
That night Pete took me out to dinner in Sausalito and we glanced at the full moon reflection as it was rising above the Bay. Right before we left for dinner I had asked him to help me cover the bed with a plastic sheet in case my water broke while I was sleeping. Well, that is exactly what happened that night at 3:44am. I felt a pop, a gush of warm water between my legs and I thought “Here we go!”. Pete helped me to the bathroom. Having read many birth stories on mothering.com, I knew it could be many hours or even days before contractions would begin. Pete went back to sleep, but I was feeling light contractions, as if I was having my period, so I called Lis at around 4:30am. She listened to my descriptions, yes, the water was clear, yes, the mucus plug came with it, only mild contractions, nothing regular, I told her. She suggested to get more sleep until my contractions were more regular and lasting for 1 minute, 4-5 minutes apart.
I also called Nicky, my longtime girlfriend, who offered to be my doula, ready to help with anything and everything. She got ready and later came over with some lovely breakfast bagels.
The strange thing about being in Labor Land is that normal reality just quietly slips away and makes space for another sort of reality in which time does not exist. Our perception changes and reality has fuzzy edges. It seems more like space travel with time warps. Just as our bodies are getting ready to release a new baby towards taking its first breath in life, we mothers are in transcendence. This transcendence is certainly not pain-free. Moaning and groaning and later screaming, powerful waves of contractions crashed over me after a few hours of light contractions. I was reminded of being hit by a rogue wave in Corsica when I was 18, which crashed into me and pushed me to the ocean floor, grinding my open mouth into the sand. I had struggled back to the surface, gasping for air and tried to make it to the safety of the shore, and the fact that I was an athlete and competition swimmer didn’t make a damn of a difference. Neither did it make much of a difference that I had now studied Hynobirthing in preparation for this childbirth. I lay there, on the bed where this baby was blissfully created, and I was clenching Pete’s hands with all my might to channel this pain out of my body. Nicky was expertly applying counter pressure to my back, which seemed to simply separate as if it was a drawbridge opening for a big boat to come through. I couldn’t live or breathe without that counter pressure. That’s when the Hypnobirthing tape really annoyed the heck out of me. The soft words of “painless childbirth” made me really angry. “What a liar”, I thought. All I could do is exist with very little control over my body. Several mind-bending vomit attacks confirmed this feeling.
Lis had taken a break after she told me I was only 1 cm dilated. She expected this to be a normal first vaginal birth where women often take 12 hours to fully dilate.
At the time I was not sure how long my “first stage” labor was, nor did I care, all I could tell is that my contractions got so intense that when Pete called Lis on the phone, I simply announced that I really needed to get into that big blue birthing tub. Lis said it might slow down contractions, but I really didn’t care about anything at this point. All I needed was to get into the water.
About a week before the birth I had to buy this more expensive birthing pool after a party of fat racoons destroyed the little Fishy Pool I had bought for this and stored in the backyard. Even though I was upset at the time, it turned out to be a great thing, as this one was a lot sturdier.
As I sank my aching body into this blue water I became like a weightless cloud on a warm sunny sky. What a relief! The water reflected the sun onto the ceiling above me and I glanced at its wavy pattern between contractions. I was still completely fearless. At one point Pete smiled at me through the blue sides of the tub as my head hang down over the waters edge, but I couldn’t smile back. Words were impossible to form, all I could do was moan, scream and gesture. Nicky leaned over to me and graciously offered a magnificently prepared array of mango slices. I swatted it away like an angry bear in a cage, unable to speak or conform to any form of etiquette. Both Nicky and Pete gave it their all, every second of this birth I felt they were truly there for me, with selfless support and love. That feeling allowed me to be completely present with this birth and open up without fear.
It seemed like there were no breaks in between contractions. Pete called Lis to say how intense it all appeared to have become and she arrived within minutes. She quickly checked my cervix and said :”You’re ready to push! You are fully dilated!” I was in disbelief. I had dilated from 1 cm to 10 cm in JUST ONE HOUR. No wonder I had the feeling that a big container ship was coming through my body. Somehow I had forgotten that I was actually birthing a baby here, that in fact there will be a small living being with wiggly hands and feet coming out of my bottom. Now! Right here! It was a crazy thought. I concentrated and tried to push with the next contraction, screaming again. Lis was on the phone calling the backup midwife Judy, who even after 30 years of midwifery had never seen saw this kind of a fast progress. She was stuck in traffic. Lis called more midwives as she simultaneously explained to me that I should just breathe out with the contractions and use the energy of the breath to push the baby out. That seemed to work much better and in just a few moments the baby was crowning and Lis asked me if I wanted to feel the head. I first said no, as I was hanging on to Pete’s and Nicky’s hands for dear life. I quickly changed my mind and reached down to feel the baby’s head. It was all squishy and soft, definitely a feeling I didn’t expect. On the next hard push the head emerged and within another couple of pushes the baby simply torpedoed out of my body. It was 3:04pm. There she was, a perfect little pink baby girl, and she looked straight into my eyes as soon as she came out of the blue water. Lis lifted her up and quickly placed her on my chest. I was not prepared for Romea’s gaze and just simply noticed it, as I was still in foggy Labor Land. She immediately began testing her new lungs, cried a little and I checked to see if all was there, toes and hands, etc. She was perfect.
After a few minutes Maria, a backup midwife who was close by, arrived and helped with all the things that needed to be done: checking the baby, helping me deliver the placenta, doing some clean-up, checking me for tears (only a small one, no stitches needed).Now Judy arrived from across the Bay, and we had three midwives present! We weighed Romea at a whopping 9 pounds and she also was 21” long with a 14” head. She was a healthy, vibrant and happy baby. I gave her to Pete and he held her for a while, opening his heart to her amazing beauty. Nicky also completely fell in love with Romea, as she later rested on the couch holding her for a long time.
Midwives, especially the ones I had the pleasure of meeting and birthing with, are rare finds in this fear-based American culture of “what if’s” which does not trust the body’s ability to birth naturally anymore. Almost everyone now seems afraid to give birth naturally. My profoundly life-changing experience would have not been possible without the incredible skills of midwifery, which combines the art of guiding a soul towards complete trust with medical/technical knowledge. Life and death are simply raw. Giving birth and dying are undeniably part of our existence and to allow ourselves to be close to the source of all living things, such as giving birth, means we can feel God. Even if God at the moment feels like a big container ship.
. Congratulations!
