How/when to tell my in-laws

[DoulaLMT]

I need some advice. We are holding off telling our families for a couple of reasons. One reason is that my SIL has had 3 pregnancies and 3 miscarriages, the most recent one being a couple months ago. We've thought that if we wait a while to tell, perhaps she'll call and tell us she's pregnant (she's always announced pretty early on). But that kind of makes it anti-climactic. "I'm pregnant" "cool, so are we." She's been through a lot, and I don't want to cause her any more anger/sadness/etc. but I'm truely excited to be pregnant and want to tell my family. We really feel we need to annouce it to both of our families at the same time. While our families don't live in this area, we see our friends all the time and one of my friends has already asked me point blank if I'm pregnant. Apparently I have pregnant vibes. I don't want the whole world to know before our families do!!! Any ideas on what we should do?

[Fishie Kisses]

My SIL and I are due the same day!! I was a little thrown off at first since they did not plan it, but the more I think about it, the more excited I get! I hope you get to experience the same. We told my MIL together ( she bout had a heart attack!!) I'm sure it will sting for your SIL at first because of her losses, but she will be happy for you!!

[trini]

Originally Posted by Fishie Kisses

I'm sure it will sting for your SIL at first because of her losses, but she will be happy for you!!

I'm not in your ddc (I'd love to be though...) and I wanted to say that your SIL may not be happy for you. And if she's not, please don't hold this against her. I think you may want to consider telling her first with a great deal of compassion. And tell her that you understand this may be difficult for her and that you sincerely hope the two of you can go through a pg together.

[DoulaLMT]

I'm not expecting my SIL to be happy for us. In fact I'm sure she won't be. But we are excited and want to share our good news, so I'm not sure how much we should allow our fear of hurting her to dictate what we do. That's where I'm struggling.

The other complicating factor is that MY sister is also pregnant - she's about 2 weeks ahead of me. We had to wait until after today to annouce, because SHE is announcing to my family today.

: we're going to have a lot of little kiddos all the same age in our family I think!

[bobandjess99]

I'm sort of in a similar situation...my daughter in law had two losses last year, and is now about 4 weeks ahead of me....thank god, she had an U/S at 10.5 weeks this week and things are going well...she lost the others at <10 weeks, so hopefully this pregnancy will work out for her......if not, it will be horrible...so I'm really hoping, not just for that reason of course, that it works out......and then we'll get new grandbaby right before our newest arrival!

[Mommy2Austin]

Originally Posted by DoulaLMT

I'm not expecting my SIL to be happy for us. In fact I'm sure she won't be. But we are excited and want to share our good news, so I'm not sure how much we should allow our fear of hurting her to dictate what we do. That's where I'm struggling.

The other complicating factor is that MY sister is also pregnant - she's about 2 weeks ahead of me. We had to wait until after today to annouce, because SHE is announcing to my family today.

: we're going to have a lot of little kiddos all the same age in our family I think!

I'd say tell the family, but try not to play it up with your sil. Or maybe even tell her privately and let her know she doesn't have to hear about the details unless she wants to. At least then she knows you won't be "flaunting" it (not that you would!) but still has the option to be informed later

Congratulations!!!

[Cullens_Girl]

You have every right to be excited about your first pregnancy. I agree with OP - give your SIL a heads up and then go on business as usual.

[salt_phoenix]

We have told no one.
SIL is 4 weeks ahead of me and I'm letting her ham it up for a few months...lol. I really prefer NOT to be any sort of center of attention.
I'm still being cautious myself, for a number of reasons... my family most likely will not be very excited, as I am 40 and they are ignorant...lol.
DH's family will be excited for HIM, but I don't know how excited they will be for ME to be the mother of his children...lol... oh well.
Our friends? Well, it's going to be a mixed bag on that one...haha some will be livid, some will be thrilled.
I would also hate to make that big announcement and then have another m/c, you know? UNtelling is harder than not telling at all!

I do feel like I have some sort of "dirty secret". hahaha