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I don't deserve this, losing my mind - Page 2

post #21 of 51
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
One of the shifts that happens when a baby moves from baby to toddler is that parenting becomes less about preventing crying and more about helping a child through those very intense emotions that she has. She's not quite there, but she's getting there.
I love this statement...it sums up exactly what I (and I think) BSD are going through.

DD is 12.5 months and just recently started getting very frustrated with certain things. Weird things. She was screaming like she had really hurt herself in her playroom...I ran in and found her sitting by her car seat, chewing on the strap. She was furious and frustrated that it wouldn't come loose from the seat!: (BTW, it's the 2nd carseat, still inside from our trip to Florida. Britax Boulevard was great for the plane)

I also agree with finding some time for you....even the 5 minutes in the car thing. You have to do what works. It sounds like this can't continue much longer for you.

Is she eating enough through the day and nursing just for comfort at night? Would a paci work, just for sleep? Do you have a security/transitional object? I'm sure you've already tried these, but they helped us immensely.
post #22 of 51
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone. She finally stopped complaining long enough to nurse to sleep, and I fell asleep with her. Now she's in deep sleep and I was able to sneak away.

I think she is frustrated because she wants to start walking. She's almost there, but not quite. She has also had a big spurt of communication knowledge recently, learning three signs and a couple words. So she is busy growing and changing and that probably scares her. I know she is teething but it's way worse than other teething bouts. Maybe it's her molars? Isn't it early for that?

I think she may also be going through a physical growth spurt. She actually told me she didn't want to nurse, she wanted oatmeal and squash yesterday. It was like:

Me: (signing and speaking) Nurse?
Her: *shake head* Mmmmm. Num. Mmm.
Me: You're hungry? Nurse?
Her: *shake head* *points at oatmeal box*
Me: You want oatmeal? Nums?
Her: Num! Num!

So maybe we need to be feeding her a lot more solids and she won't be so hungry at night.

DH actually suggested last night that we set up a sidecar and he will do the Sears night-weaning protocol. She sleeps well during her naps when I get up, but at night NOBODY sleeps. So something has to change there.

Thanks again for all the
post #23 of 51
Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog View Post
I know she is teething but it's way worse than other teething bouts. Maybe it's her molars? Isn't it early for that?

DD got all four molars at once, at exactly 11 months. It was hard on her. She drooled and got a rash on her chin from all the saliva. The upside, once they were in, her solid eating improved greatly.

Lately, she's really loved cantaloupe slices. It took a few days to figure out the yummy side vs. the rind, but she got it.

We also found out she likes to graze. I have no idea if this is a bad idea, but it's working for us. I have a "sit-down" time for meals and she shows some interest at first. It just seems she's too distracted to sit long. So, I get her out of the chair and let her "graze" on the rest.
post #24 of 51
Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog View Post
So maybe we need to be feeding her a lot more solids and she won't be so hungry at night.
I heard many times that this was a myth, but you know, it worked SO well with my son. It's not like you're putting rice cereal in a bottle at 6 weeks. 11 months is plenty old enough for more solids. My MIL was the one who showed me that filling my son up with a big bowl of rice cereal at night helped him sleep more; I didn't believe her at first, but it really made a difference. Oatmeal should be great for keeping a tummy full, too.

I hope things get better for you soon. Your post reminded me of my very first post here, which I wrote after my 14mo had been up until 5 a.m. screaming. I think it was molars in his case - ibuprofen did the trick. But that was a difficult age, too. He suddenly got so much sweeter around the time he turned 2, and now he's a wonderful little person to spend time with. (Still kind of a crappy sleeper though. )
post #25 of 51

When the duo-of-destruction starts making me seriously thinking of running away and becoming a showgirl in Las Vegas, I lock myself on the front porch and SCREAM until I run out of air.

Then I hum quietly, while doing relaxing techniques, and counting backward from one hundred. Then I go back inside and deal with the fallout. But at least I'm not spanking them, right
post #26 of 51
I'm glad you were able to get some rest.
post #27 of 51
Originally Posted by pookel View Post
I heard many times that this was a myth, but you know, it worked SO well with my son.
Yep, same here. It was around 9/10 months that we really had to make sure she had a real dinner, otherwise she didn't sleep well. Although, the molars really messed things up. We noticed they started coming in before her birthday, probably around 11 months.
post #28 of 51
I can really identiy with your feelings. One night I started a thread called Parenting and Rage that people are still posting on! It is common enough.
For me I am a great parent all day but at night I am done. No coping skills left and constant BFing at night left me, at times resentful and full of rage.
Such a simple request and requirement from my child but I realized with # 2 that I just couldn't do it.
I wouldn't consider my kids high need at all so I can only imagine what you are experiencing. If there is an answer it is within you . . . if there is no solution: you will survive because I agree "this too shall pass"

Love and Peaceful thoughts.
post #29 of 51
Hey, I was gonna come ask and see how you were holding up. Glad you got a break. I know the madness.
post #30 of 51
Out of desperation, exasperation, etc. we recently night-weaned our dd. After the first eight nights (which were nowhere near as horrible as we expected), it worked, much to my disbelief. She still cosleeps with us, but she now sleeps for about a nine hour stretch without waking. I avoided nightweaning for so long because I felt she was too young, and she loves nursing so much that I've had sore nipples for pretty much the entire time she's been alive. Plus she's been very slow getting teeth (she still only has 2) so there are a lot of foods she still can't eat and I've had a hard time making sure she has a full tummy at bed time. I know what that resentment and exhaustion feels like. Sounds like you've gotten some ideas here. Remember you are not alone in this. Glad she decided to give you a break today - hope it's a trend!!
post #31 of 51
Yeah, I have one of those kinds of babies. The very occasional overnight at work or night-off is a lifesaver. I have had to go to 2 different conferences that involved an overnight trip. I didn't sleep well of course but there was none of that incessant crying and stress combination. Of course we had the similar deal with baby not eating enough due to teething pain and then being hungry all night, those doggone molars took months of teething bouts to come in.

Finally at 17+ months DD has her bottom and top set and we have embarked on the no more nursing after tucking in until morning weaning. 3 long nights and now bliss. I found that giving her nutrition packed fruit/brown rice protein powder/ coconut milk/ juice smoothies really helped cut down on some fussiness and we did the occasional pre bed tylenol if the previous night was hellish. She also seemed to like the cold stuff over those gums.
post #32 of 51
Originally Posted by moondiapers View Post
I'm so sorry. My dd was the same way until she learned to walk. Then she was a new child.
Abesolutely same here. You are almost there!!! Hang on!
post #33 of 51
Does Hylands or Infant Motrin help? If so, then I'd say it's her teeth for sure.

Is she frustrated over not being able to communicate clearly what she wants? Have you tried signing with her maybe?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. No self-righteousness here, just a desire to help.

My baby goes through bouts where she's very fussy at night and wants to nurse more, but it's less about hunger in her case and more about comfort. We discovered that when it's really bad, it's her teeth, and Infant Motrin helps (it works best in our case at this point, buyt we use Hylands in the day). But when she's working on a skill it ALWAYS messes up her sleep and makes her cranky at night it seems.

That said, at some point those teeth WILL come in. At some point she WILL master whatever she's working on. And so at some point we WILL get some sleep.

I feel for you. And hope it gets better soon.
post #34 of 51
My DD had a week where she was completely unbearable right before she learned how to walk. She was 11 months. She has always been high needs, but I actually considered weaning for a little while because that one week was soooooo terrible. Then she figured out how to walk, and she has been MUCH happier.
post #35 of 51
my almost ten month old was doing this for a while and I finally stopped nursing him to sleep at all. Not for naps or nighttime. I will nurse him until he gets drowsy and closes his eyes and then I pop him off, turn him over and rub his back and sing until he goes to sleep. He cries a little bit, but he hasnt gotten hysterical. AND he IS sleeping better. He's sleeping SO MUCH BETTER. I can't believe it. He'll sleep up to 2.5 hours for a nap and at night he's only waking up once to nurse now......

I'd recommend trying this......
post #36 of 51
My thoughts reading your post were:

Nursing more often in the day time she might nurse less at night (Worked for us once)

Maybe she has an allergy to something your eating and it's causing reflux which is making her nurse more and be more irritable. My son had this and I quit drinking cow's milk and you wouldn't believe the difference.

Has she always done this or do you think it could be a growth spurt?
post #37 of 51
Oh, another thing I just thought of -- is the baby definitely wanting to nurse at night or just stirring? Try patting on the back and see if that works first, before you nurse. I realized a few months ago that sometimes Guinevere is just stirring in her sleep -- not needing to nurse, and a pat/rubbing her on the back worked just as well.

(Obviously if she needs to nurse though I let her nurse -- just saying I didn't realie that every time she stirred didn't necessarily mean she needed to nurse, if that makes sense.)
post #38 of 51
ACsMom, you talked about night weaning-please clue us (or just me ) in to how you did this. if you will notice this post is being made at 10pm on a work night (way late for me) i had to leave the bedroom because i was just done, done, done, i could not do it for one more second. my dh is up there and i heard the baby calm down after some crying, i'm rambling, anyways, PLEASE hook us up with your night weaning technique. and hugs to BSD, i think our babies are similar ages, i feel your pain.
post #39 of 51
Well hello there, Ms. Dog!

When N was 11 months old, that is when she started eating a LOT more food, and she actually weaned herself soon after (except for the before bed nursing), much to my dismay. But she just wanted to eat and move around and she didn't want to be stuck to a boob in the meantime. I also was babysitting a boy who took bottles and she stole those and preferred them in no time, because she could scoot around with one hanging out of her mouth. Poor me, but she was thrilled when I broke down and made her her own.

It could be anything, but if she is getting her molars, gah. It's just going to be kind of crappy for awhile.
post #40 of 51
Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog View Post
My 11 mo old does nothing but scream and whine. "NANANANANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAMAMAMAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA!!!" She nurses all night except when she pops herself off and screams because she isn't nursing. I can't even shift position. I lay in bed until I can't hold it and try to quietly sneak to the bathroom and then get something to eat and she screams for half an hour no matter how I try to distract her.

I am LOSING it. I can't stand this. All my time since the day she was born has been spent nursing and catering to her every need. AP has NOT made her content and easy. It has made me burnt out and hateful.

Self-righteous people please don't post. I only want real support.

And to think you couldn't wait to get her OUT I'm only laughing becasue I've bTDT with #1 which is why it took 5 years for #2, was terrified #2 would be just as intense! I find when there constant nursers they often have reflux which was true in our case. Once we had dd on the right meds she stopped nursing so dang much. You can give her a little mylanta and see if it helps, I promise its not the end of the world to try it. Part of its the age too, Lilly is usually a pretty laid back baby but she turns 1 June 1 and the last 2 weeks or so she's been driving me nuts, nothing makes her happy it seems lately and she's teething which makes things even more fun. I'm not even going to tell yoou to hang in there becasue I know right now you can't see an end in sight and I wish I could tell you there was one but in our case there wasn't. Now #1 is about to turn 7 and were all in therapy for her intenseness which was pushing me over the edge after so many years with no breaks. I was left feeling burnt out as well
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