How do I convince my M.D. Dad homebirth is safe?

[MKury]

My dad has been a physician for 30 years. Although he has never been a pill pusher, he certainly feels that the more degrees, the better the outcome. My husband and I have recently had a less than positive experience with one of the OBs in our practice and began searching for other possibilities. We have been recommended a midwife, interviewed and asked her to attend our birth, but I haven't told my dad. Does anyone know of any JAMA resources citing the safety of homebirth? Any other articles from well-known medical authorities? We are due in 6 weeks, and I want him to be behind us! Any additional information for my dad would be greatly appreciated!

[SublimeBirthGirl]

Here are a couple you can send him:

http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/conte...7505/1416?ehom

http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/abstr...e2=tf_ipsecsha

In the end, it doesn't matter if he's convinced though, just remember that.

[GinaRae]

Not knowing your dad, I couldn't know for sure, but being a physician for 30 years, he may never get behind this until you have a positive homebirth. Are you sure you have to tell him before the birth?

My mom is a very traditional nurse and I am honestly wishing I hadn't told her. She's NOT happy and won't ever get on board. She'll not stand in our way at all, but she's sure to continue to make it known that she's "worried" and that homebirths are dangerous, no matter what I tell her.

[kerikadi]

I would bring him to a prenatal visit and let him speak with your MW.

[mnnice]

I'd buy him the book from this thread.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...he+USA+Marsden

I'd also would decide how much emotional energy I'd place in getting approval from him.

[lyttlewon]

Are you sure he is against home births? I was born at home in 1978 and my mom's GP had no issues with it. He did a house visit afterwards to make sure everything was in order.

[Juvysen]

I decided not to tell my dad until after the birth. It's not like he'll be here for it, and after the fact, what can he say?

[pamamidwife]

I definitely think that it's not your job to sway him. Chances are, he may never feel comfortable no matter who many studies or articles you send his way.

It may be best to not tell him - especially if he doesn't live close by.

[MKury]

thanks!

Thanks, Sublime for the articles... and I have ordered Born in the USA- it should be in in a few days. My MW advised not to give that book to him until after the baby is born because it is a bit confrontational. I can't not tell him because he lives less than 2 miles from me- I'd be concerned that after he found out, he'd make me go to the hospital to get checked out. I know it's not his decision and really doesn't matter what he thinks, but I want him to be as comfortable as possible... I also don't think he realizes that hospital births have serious issues as well. Our local hospital (where I'd be delivering) has a 30% C-section rate... WOW! That's the last thing I want... Regardless, I am trying to compile as much information for him as possible so that he can accept this and be okay with it. And no, I'm not positive he's against them, but I do know him pretty well- we are just praying that the Lord will prepare him to receive this decision with peace.

Anyone with more articles, book suggestions, etc?

[fyrebloom]

What really convinced my DH was reading the statistics in Ina May's guide to childbirth. The farm midwives have an Extremely low c-section rate and an even lower rate of assisted delivery (forceps, vacuum, episiotomy etc). They hardly every need to transfer and have excellant outcomes.

[DoomaYula]

I'm not sure you're ever going to convince him, it's 30y of being a doc vs 6w of whatever info you give him, ya know?

My dad thinks "babies should be born in hospitals," however he lives about 3000 miles away and has already told me that it's my life and my choice. I doubt he could be convinced -- but it doesn't matter, since he's not going to interfere. My mom is totally on board.

[ebony_vbac]

maybe he could talk to a doctor that supports homebirths. i dont know how you could hook them up, but i know a lady in my state, michigan that had a home birth after 4 c sections with a doctor. and my family doc is married to a cnm 3/4 of his kids were born at home and his cnm has a birth center so there are some supportive docs out there

[pamamidwife]

egads, good luck. once he finds out about your plans, he might freak. to me, it would be easier (and more pleasureable in terms of my relationship to him during pregnancy!) to avoid the issue.

I've seen too many healthcare providers at births or in families that freak over the weirdest things. Just know that you won't likely convince him...even if he gets to a point of respecting your choice, that still won't stop him from lecturing you or even wanting to be there at the birth "just in case"! (scary!)

[twilight girl]

Here's a link to a WHO brochure:

http://whqlibdoc.who.int/hq/2007/WHO_MPS_07.05_eng.pdf

While it doesn't get into homebirth in depth, on page 4, in Table 2, it does list "Places of care, providers, interventions and commodities"

For routine and situational childbirth, "Places" listed include Health center in the Community, Outpatient clinic of a hospital and outreach home visit; and "Providers" say only Health care workers with midwifery skills. It's not until you reach the level of specialized birth that the WHO actually lists "Hospital" as a place to birth.

FWIW

[Jenlaana]

You just never know how he will respond. He might be totally open to it all. My DH's family is all nurses (his brother, sister and mom) and I truly felt they would be very negative about our birth choice (we did a home UC w/ a pre-birth and post-birth "check up"). I did not want to tell them EVER. But suprisingly, these people who see people die every day (they work with hospice type care) and even my BIL who has just finished nursing training (not sure exactly what it was but it was to get him better pay w/in the nursing field) were all 200% behind us, even more so than my own family. My cousin has had 8 children all at home, and my mom still freaks out at the thought of me having my baby at home. Yet here are these highly medicalized people who speak of illness and medical "stuff" like its part of every second of every day of life... thinking that there is no reason to go to the hospital to have a baby unless you have complications. (oh and to top that off my SIL had her baby at 25ish wks and the baby had to be in the NICU for like 6 months...)

Just wanted to give you a positive spin I think its more the doctors/nurses that are brainwashed within the birth field than those that deal with general health and other specialties that cant understand the "birth is a natural process" bit.

[Emmeline II]

Homebirth Safety Resources
The following are resources MDC members found helpful for convincing family members of the safety of homebirth:

Articles & Links:
British Medical Journal study
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articl...ogyinbirth.asp
http://gentlebirth.org/archives/prntshar.html
http://www.homebirthdallas.org/HANDWebResources
http://www.texas-midwife.com/ishomebirthsafe.htm
http://gentlebirth.org/archives/prntshar.html
http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/5510/studies.html
http://home.earthlink.net/~eaglefalc...irthoprah.html
http://www.homebirth.org.uk/homebirthindex.htm
http://www.healthychild.com/database..._like_home.htm
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articl...irthchoice.asp
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/gracious.asp
http://www.birthpsychology.com/violence/odent1.html
http://www.acegraphics.com.au/articles/wagner01.html
http://www.birthpsychology.com/birthscene/otoday4.html
http://www.changesurfer.com/Hlth/homebirth.html

Books:

Immaculate Deception by Suzanne Arms
Special Delivery by Rahima Baldwin Dancy
Birth at Home by Sheila Kitzinger
The Cultural Warping of Childbirth by Doris Haire
The Home Birth Book by Charlotte and Fred Ward
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg
Active Birth by Janet Balaskas
Birth Without Violence by Frederick Leboyer
Birth Reborn by Michael Odent
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin