Financially Challenged Mamas!

[holyhelianthus]

we need a place of our own, mamas! to lean on each other and share frugal living tips. i know i need the support. : finances are forefront (among other things) in why i feel so down so often. it'd be nice to have some others to lean on.

i'm Maggie mama to 3 girlies (Lilith, Mable, and Olive). i work about 1.5 hours 4 days a week just doing deliveries for a friend. she pays me $20 a day which is enough to cover the gas on our mini van. DH (Robbie) works building cabinetry. we have struggled since day 1 and, although things are getting better, the constant uphill trek is getting old! :

[pixiewytch]

Count me in! As cost of living prices rise here in Fl, the pocketbook gets tighter every day. I'm a SAHM and DH works for an evil corp engineering company, lol. Living on one income, even a lower middle class one is constantly a struggle with $700 a month just in health insurance costs.

Now we are trying to fund our son's waldorf education and still make ends meet. We both have older beat up cars. I didn't have a car at all for about five years. We still rent (which sucks) and I dream of one day owning a house although that doesn't seem to be in our foreseeable future.

I can't tell you how many arguments DH and I have every time we come home from the health food store and pay a hefty price for organic and ecofriendly groceries. DH hates it but I remind him quality over quantity.

Anyway, we pretty much live paycheck to paycheck and try to live in a "greener" lifestyle for real people in a sea of people with hybrid SUV's and magazine covers showing how celebrities have greened their million dollar homes (insert rolling eyes emoticon).

So here we are. May the poor folks unite!

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by pixiewytch

So here we are. May the poor folks unite!

together we can take over the world!

s and welcome! i totally feel the grocery thing. we finally got to the point where its like well, we're going to be overdrawn anyway, might as well eat! we buy local over organic which actually does help us save a bit but not enough to change our situation. we're praying for a nice raise this time around! DH is up for his year raise. he was up for his 6 month raise 6 months ago but we owed his boss money (loooooong story that actually was his boss' fault) so his boss said no raise until we paid him back. follow the logic there! : : we just paid him back and are hoping his raise takes into account that they skipped the last one. $2 more an hour would REALLY shift things in our favor.

[canadiannancy]

We are not even in a position to decide on organic vs local right now. DH had the best job he has ever had, started 1.5 years ago, but...landing in the hospital with a collapsed lung and being off work for 6 monthes and now part time....throws havoc on your budget. We walk or take the bus when we can, we cannot afford to have a car right now, although dh would love one. We rent and will for a looooong time, although luckily we have a three bedroom and won't have to move when the next baby comes(dumb housing rules of how many in each unit). We wish we could be overdrawn sometimes...as we have no family able to help and so when things get bad, like the power getting cut off last week...we are out of options. I am praying that my husbands health gets better, he was a strong healthy young man who advanced at his job because he was willing to do whatever they asked of him to get ahead, and hopefully soon that will be him again, and we can become financially stable.

The only positive has been when he was off work, we worked on our relationship and our spiritual health and it has drawn us closer. My girls are babes, but they know they are loved, and right now, they don't care that their clothes are mostly not new(in fact Kyra would rather be naked!) they are happy.

[holyhelianthus]

Nancy!!! you're post has me for you.
how old are your girls? i might have some clothes for you. they were hand me downs hand me downs to me and my LO but they still are in good enough shape. PM me if you'd like!

i hope i'm not getting too whiney but i need to vent- DH's check just got auto deposited in the bank. we were already majorly overdrawn from paying rent (i don't know why the bank doesn't bounce our checks an instead lets it OD but we are SOOOOOO thankful for the fluke!) we have $175 left over and $800 in bills that HAVE to be paid, not counting food, gas for the car, or the fact we're out of toilet paper and other toiletries that are less important. i know things could be sooo much worse! we're skipping out on paying bills right now to get food and gas to go to work but at least we have food and gas to get to work, right? then why do i feel like utter crap?? :

[canadiannancy]

We are having fun with clothes...the way it works right now is we find most of what we have used from community centre/salvation army, good will, and then after Kyra wears them, wait a bit and Zoe wears them...not sure what we'll do if this one is a boy...it would throw the system off. Kyra is going to be 2 on Saturday, and Zoe is 8 months. Our spacing I guess is similar Maggie, since by the time our third is born Kyra will be 2.5. Ironically baby 3 is a diaphram baby...we tried to prevent and God had other plans. We wanted to wait a little bit until things were a little better. But we love this baby totally already and wouldn't in any way not have him or her(although that was suggested : )

I love second hand things, and freecycle things, would love to have family or freinds around to hand me down...just don't want to freak out whenever Kyra gets bigger or I get smaller(went from 260+ to 190 from pregnancy 1 to now)...and tops are alright big bit some things suck like pants, and the only thing I won't get myself or dh used is underwear...(not that there is a big market...but I can't do it)

It sucks being in not good positions financially but I am glad to know there are others who are in similar boats to commiserate with. Venting allowed I say...whining too....we are all going to get through it, with wonderful experiences, even if they don't seem that way at the time.

[medicmama]

I am a mom to 2 boys and a baby girl. We live paycheek to paycheek. I do own my house.But with 2 car payments and a morgage thats about it.We payed off our credit cards mostly.although I just did food shopping this week on credit card it almost killed me to do it but I had no choise. I work 1 day a week,for grocery money basicly. We do local farm stand for produce,and local form for meat when we can afford it.All my kids are clothed fron very gennerious friends. i buy very little new.we cd and bf so that cuts costs a bit.

Don't mind if I join you!

[strawberryfields08]

What a great thread!
I am right in there with all of you. Living on one paycheck is extremely difficult. My DH and I have been struggling ever since we moved in together way back in college. We have a 15 mo girl and it is harder than ever to make ends meet. We do own a home, we got lucky with the loan, but it is so hard to pay for all of the costs of owning a home, and I am not sure we were ready for it. Most of the time we are trying to pay the previous bill before the next one is due. Paycheck to paycheck is an understatement. I am sure all of you feel the same way! We do BF and CD to save money, and I found 2 great consignment stores nearby so I spend hardly anything on clothes for DD. I am constantly thinking I need to find work, but my DD is so attached to me she will not even stay with DH for more than a few hours and I am afraid I would pay all of my money to child care. This thread came at a perfect time though, right when I was trying to pay bills and freaking out. It feels good to know there are other mamas struggling to.

I do have a good tip that I read in some magazine. They said to unplug all of your "wall warts". Like the microwave, cell phone chargers, toaster, ect. Anything that is plugged in that you are not using is using energy. Also to turn off computer every night. (I struggle with this one). We also put our TV and electrical stuff on a surge protector and turned off the surge protector every night, so that everything wasn't always plugged in. This saved us $11 the first month on our electrical bill. We haven't been as consistent lately but I am working on it. It's a great way to save money and help the environment.

I have to do some grocery shopping today as well. I hate to spend all of the rest of the check on groceries and not bills, but we have to eat I guess.

[mamabens]

Wow, it's so good to know we're not alone. NOt that we'd ever want anyone to be in this situation.

I am a SAHM to 2 little Hellions...ummm I mean girls. lol DH lost his job in Nov & he was looking for a job when my parents moved to NKY. We found out what a great job market they had up there so we decided to move as well. My parents were actually hoping we would.They asked if we would want to live in their basement until we got on our feet & of course we said sure. DH finally found a job, it's not the greatest pay but it's better than nothing. We have beenliving with my parents since Jan & it's getting old. So now, with no savings, no money we are having to move out. We wanted to buy but that's not possible so we will be renting AGAIN. We are able to get assitance until we get on our feet & I wouldn't use it unless we had to but if we want to eat we don't have a choice. Luckily for freecycle & friends the girls have clothes. lol Anyway, here I am & lets hope none of us will be here for long!

[maminatural]

How comforting to find this thread! Just yesterday, our electricity got cut off and since my DP's pay won't come in yet, we were freaking out about how to pay. It's the first time since we've lived together 2 1/2 yrs ago that this happens but unfortunately, this isn't a big deal to me. My parents have struggled within our working middle class situation and I grew up this way.

You see, my father is an artist at heart and my mother a teacher.... wonderful, intelligent, caring people who just happen to be in the least favorable economic situation from the rest of each respective families. And me... well I seem to be following in their footsteps. My DP has been feeling pretty down due to our paycheck to paycheck life but luckily my skills allow me to make a buck here and there and a lot faster than he can. I gave up the corporate world before I met him and he has been working on his own with a small importing business and his payments are erratic and irregular causing us to constantly be paying late fees and having to borrow until the next payment. It sucks! But it helps that our families give us so much support and understand, they also believe in us.

I'm starting a small business from home and I'm also a massage therapist and I truly believe things will be going well for me. I've been feeling very inspired and hope to transfer that over to my DP. We are both college graduates and if we hadn't chosen the less traveled path (following our hearts and our consciousness) we'd probably own a home and have our 20 credit cards maxed out and also would've had to be working in a boring job/career for 70 to 80 hrs a week.

Instead, we spend most of our time working from home, having lunch together, playing with our baby and able to be a better mom to my son. It's a trade off... as long as we're happy wherever we are in the now and working towards an improved tomorrow while continuing our journey.

Thanks for reading! Sorry it was so long...

[maminatural]

Oh, I forgot! We rent and still owe this month and we borrowed 1/2 the electricity bill just to get it back on. Fortunately, I have a few sales this week and a few massages... and our cable is still on! Gotta concentrate on the positives!

[revolucionaria]

this may not be a popular criticism, bc i am sure most of us on this site are big mothering mag fans, but i am starting to find that mothering mag does not really address issues pertaining to folks like me. i am a low-income single mama who is wholeheartedly committed to a natural life for my children, but it takes serious commitment and a willingness to miss out on other things.

sometimes i get overwhelmed by page after page of beautiful advertisements for things i cannot afford. i'll crawl into bed and think, "sigh, i wish these were organic sheets". but then i remember how good it feels to have my kids dressed in the coolest, quirkiest stuff i got for .49 cents at family day at the salvation army. or how when people come to my home and say "where do you get all these gorgeous toys?" i can honestly say that about 5% of them were actually bought at full price (mostly garage sales, some major closeout sales at out waldorfy store, and a little ebay). it feels good not to contribute to the "buybuybaby" consumerism lifestyle, and we are happy with what we have.

i wish mothering could find a way to have less advertisements. honestly i would be willing to pay another $5-10 more a year to not be bombarded with the "buy this new fabulous european organic thingy for your baby" in every issue. i know they need advertisements, but even in the "strokes of genius" page they often recommend products that are CRAZY expensive.

i also would like to see more stories relating to or featuring low income people. does anyone feel this way, too?

i'll hide over here while i wait for the responses to come in :

[mommyddeville]

I think you have a good point, revolucionaria. It gets exhausting to have "buy, buy, buy" shoved down your throat 24/7.

I'm Denice, mom to Sam and Abigail, foster mom, and wife to Jimmy. We're living paycheck to paycheck, and paying down our debt. Honestly, two years ago, we were living at the end of our ropes. . . paying electric just before it was shut off, paying credit card minimums just to avoid the fees. And then we decided to give up ALL the perceived extras in our lives. We now use cloth napkins, toilet paper, and towels instead of paper towels. I know it sounds small, but it saves us a little $. And it was free to start it. We don't have cable or newspaper delivery, we share one older car, and got rid of all our other expenses. For months and months, we just paid and paid and paid on our credit cards while it felt like we made no progress.

But we're finally making progress. We paid off the credit cards and now we're working on paying off our car. Some months, we can't pay anything extra. But we still try. And it's been absolutely essential to have other people to talk to in the same situation. I think it's so easy to get down about how hopeless it is when it seems like everyone else has more $$. So I'm glad to see there's a group for those of us who are broke and working really hard to get out of debt.

[Gendenwitha]

Originally Posted by revolucionaria

this may not be a popular criticism, bc i am sure most of us on this site are big mothering mag fans, but i am starting to find that mothering mag does not really address issues pertaining to folks like me. i am a low-income single mama who is wholeheartedly committed to a natural life for my children, but it takes serious commitment and a willingness to miss out on other things.

i'll hide over here while i wait for the responses to come in :

Honestly, I've stopped getting Mothering mag and read Hip Mama instead (way more into low-income, including a calendar of the zine editor that includes her financial woes.) It's also more geared for older kids. I also like Brain, Child... it's not as low-income focused, (and is NOT an AP mag, not even a parenting mag excatly,) but doesn't have the yuppieness of Mothering.

I was also getting tired of it being the Defeat Autism Now newsletter, (okay, I'm anti-vax, and I'm concerned about autism, but sheesh, every stinking issue seemed to be dedicated to it). Plus the biggie for me was I'm really sick of all the censorship and mdc and didn't want to financially contribute to that sort of thing anymore. (Although I'm making an exception to get my pro-circ friend a subscription for her babyshower. Hoping for good anti-circ articles between now and July.)

[medicmama]

Originally Posted by canadiannancy

We are not even in a position to decide on organic vs local right now. DH had the best job he has ever had, started 1.5 years ago, but...landing in the hospital with a collapsed lung and being off work for 6 monthes and now part time....throws havoc on your budget. We walk or take the bus when we can, we cannot afford to have a car right now, although dh would love one. We rent and will for a looooong time, although luckily we have a three bedroom and won't have to move when the next baby comes(dumb housing rules of how many in each unit). We wish we could be overdrawn sometimes...as we have no family able to help and so when things get bad, like the power getting cut off last week...we are out of options. I am praying that my husbands health gets better, he was a strong healthy young man who advanced at his job because he was willing to do whatever they asked of him to get ahead, and hopefully soon that will be him again, and we can become financially stable.

The only positive has been when he was off work, we worked on our relationship and our spiritual health and it has drawn us closer. My girls are babes, but they know they are loved, and right now, they don't care that their clothes are mostly not new(in fact Kyra would rather be naked!) they are happy.

Originally Posted by revolucionaria

i also would like to see more stories relating to or featuring low income people. does anyone feel this way, too?

i'll hide over here while i wait for the responses to come in :

and I agree!

Originally Posted by mommyddeville

I think you have a good point, revolucionaria. It gets exhausting to have "buy, buy, buy" shoved down your throat 24/7.

I'm Denice, mom to Sam and Abigail, foster mom, and wife to Jimmy. We're living paycheck to paycheck, and paying down our debt. Honestly, two years ago, we were living at the end of our ropes. . . paying electric just before it was shut off, paying credit card minimums just to avoid the fees. And then we decided to give up ALL the perceived extras in our lives. We now use cloth napkins, toilet paper, and towels instead of paper towels. I know it sounds small, but it saves us a little $. And it was free to start it. We don't have cable or newspaper delivery, we share one older car, and got rid of all our other expenses. For months and months, we just paid and paid and paid on our credit cards while it felt like we made no progress.

But we're finally making progress. We paid off the credit cards and now we're working on paying off our car. Some months, we can't pay anything extra. But we still try. And it's been absolutely essential to have other people to talk to in the same situation. I think it's so easy to get down about how hopeless it is when it seems like everyone else has more $$. So I'm glad to see there's a group for those of us who are broke and working really hard to get out of debt.

We payed off all but 1 and only have about 500 on it. but that will be payed soon. I will use any money I get for my birthday to pay into it.I don't like to carry a balance. We do have cable,no news paper or magazines. all our kids activitys are funded by grandparrents,as christmas/birthday presents.

[peggyitaly]

I'm joining too!

Hi all!
I'm Peggy and we live in Italy. Sounds glamourous, doesn't it? Well, we have plenty of hardships here. I unfortunately have to work (teach esl in private language schools) because dh has a lowing paying job. It's hard to find and change jobs here too. We live pay check to pay check and it's never enough. I'm not sure how most Italians get by because average salary here is 800 euros a month and the cost of living is only slightly lower than the U.S. I guess many italians have parents who buy them houses. we didn't have this luxury. both dh and i come from low to middle class families. I've got major college loans to pay too. we've got 1 dd and are expecting our second dd in july. just about everything my dd has is a hand-me-down or gift. sometimes i splurge on craft supplies. we can't afford organic; i hope Italian produce doesn't have as much pesticides as u.s. produce.
Although i love mothering mag, i have to agree that it doesn't address the mothers like ourselves who struggle financially. i am dreaming now of being able to buy a nice wrap to carry my new baby in but i don't know if it will be possible.
looking forward to hearing more about you all!

Peggy

[holyhelianthus]

i was thinking of you mamas yesterday when i went grocery shopping at our Henry's Farmers Market. i was so overwhelmed with the lack of freaking money :. i know this sounds so petty but i HATE walking into a store and having to calculate EVERY penny i spend right there in front of everyone. especially Henry's because it's in a better area and all the people there pull up in their shinny SUVs in their new track suits talking on their nifty cell phones filling their basket with $5 organic sugar etc. they give you this look that burns when you are counting out what you have spent and it just so stings. i need to get over my pride, i know. but i was able to get enough food for the next 2 weeks on $70. i wanted to share that we go to Henry's because it is local produce and waaay cheaper with great quality! i found nice sized heads of cauliflower for $.77 each among other things. i usually try and buy pretzels or something for the girls but instead i got 2 1lb bags of carrots for $1 and 2 things of celery for $2 and they had a sale on strawberries two packs for $3. but i caught something i hadn't before. granted, i am a bit slow with these things. buy in bulk! duh, Maggie! : i decided to price bulk granola and hot cereals and i found granola for $2 a lb and 9 grain hot cereal for $.50 a lb. we usually go over budget because we buy boxed cereal at $3.50 a pop. so i saved on cereal and snacks as well because granola makes a great snack.
i hope that gave some ideas although i'm sure most of you have already thought of them i know that Farmer's Markets aren't everywhere. we just got ours a few months ago!! i was so surprised to find that the produce and bulk items are cheaper than the Wal Mart super center although canned items and what not are more expensive. but we're trying to skip on pre packaged stuff because we can't afford it. who knew being broke forced one into eating healthier.

[holyhelianthus]

WELCOME to all our new mamas!!
i'm adding a link to our tribe in my sig.

[ed_tricia]

This was the most recent post in Finding Your Tribe, so I popped in. I just wanted to share another tip. I know ppl on MDC are big on organic, but it can be prohibitively expensive. I discovered King Soopers (grocery store chain) sells some organic produce. I got organic pears a few weeks ago for $1/lb. which is a pretty good price for any pears I think. They also have their weekly ad online so you can browse before you go. They are also cheaper than Wal-Mart on many things. I second the buy in bulk concept, but beware of places like Sam's club-sometimes they are the same price or more per unit/ounce/lb. than just going to the grocery store. For specialty items (I was searching for Tahini) Vitamin Cottage seemed to be cheaper than Whole Foods. I actually spent $1.50 less than the tahini at Target. And finally, I think more stores are coming out w/ their own line of organic products, including toddler snacks.

[frogleymom]

Wow... I'm glad this thread got started. I'm Emily, we've got two baby girls and a baby on the way. I graduated from college 2 years ago, just before DD#1 was born, but I've chosen to be a SAHM, so I've never worked, and DH is still in school. Thankfully DH has an awesome job that pays very well... but because he's still a student he was only working 20 hours a week. Right now he's taking his last class and is able to work 28 hours a week... but we're basically living on one full-time minimum wage job.

Unfortunately, DH isn't in the job he wants (it's not really in his field of study) and the job market for Computer Science here in Utah stinks... he's interviewed a lot in the area and no one is willing to pay him more than 35k/year, which is what he would be making now if he were able to work 40 hours a week. So... DH finishes his last class next month, and we're planning to move to Oregon and live with my parents for a while.

We currently scrape by with housing subsidies, second-hand stores, and both girls were born with medicaid assistance. Unfortunately, my girls get kicked off medicaid after a year, and I only qualify when I'm pregnant, so we still have to pay private medical insurance. We only have one credit card (we just finished paying off mine!!!) with a $3500 balance, and we owe another $30,000 in student loans. We don't have any car payments, we drive a 1991 Toyota Camry Wagon, with 190,000 miles on it. We're hoping to save enough to buy a minivan this Christmas, when the baby comes.

We're trying to save all the extra $$ DH is making this term, so we can pay for our move, and have a decent savings account in case DH doesn't find a job for a couple of months. Thankfully, my parents are totally open to us living with them, and we all get along, so it shouldn't be a problem. We're hoping to find a job, and stay with my parents long enough to pay off our credit card, and buy a minivan. (I really don't want an auto loan.) We won't have to even start paying off our student loan until January 08, and thankfully the interest on that is only about 3%.

We buy the cheapest groceries we can possibly find, and stay away from all pre-packaged food. I buy meat in large quantities and freeze a bunch of it, then we buy mostly fresh produce and cheese. We have some wheat in some food storage that was given to us, and I'd love to make our bread, but I haven't found a good recipe yet. We also CD and BF to save. Honestly, if we had the $$, I'd probably use sposies, cause I don't like washing the poop out of the cloth. (Other than that, cloth are SO cute, and kind of addictive, I've actually planned to make cloth diapers for the next baby. I can make a full birth-potty stash for about $200.)

I do agree that there is a trade-off with being poor. I did graduate from college, so I could go out and get a great job, and put our kids in daycare, but I really believe that no one can raise them as well as I can, and if me staying home means that we don't get a ton of luxuries, then we're okay with that. DH and I have struggled since we got married four years ago, but we've made it work, and we're just hoping and praying that this is a temporary stage, that we can get through in the next year or so... though buying a house, especially in the Portland, Oregon area, is still several years away.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Emily