Financially Challenged Mamas! - Page 5

[sabrinat]

Originally Posted by granolapunk

hi again ladies,

just came to rant real quick before i go to work-

i missed a credit card payment. it was 3 days late. i've NEVER been late on it. i called immediately and payed $80 more than the minimum payment and guess what? they raised my interest rate from 10% to 32 freaking %!!!! i've been crying about it for 2 days. the balance on the card is almost $6,000. and it pisses me off so bad that everything we've used it for was medical bills, or groceries.

That happened to us for the exact same reason. It's very disheartening when you're doing the very best you can

[sonrisaa29]

Originally Posted by Kelly1216

Maggie, I'm glad you were having a better day yesterday! That was so super nice of your friend! I need a few things for my dd 2T-3T, but I would feel bad if someone else needed them worse than I do. Please let me know if you don't find any takers, it's not the end of the world, I can always go garage saling! (Why doesn't saling look like it's correct, is it? Saleing, Saling, I don't know!)
I'll have to try the granola recipes. They sound yummy!
We're on the fine line of making too much to keep Isabel's medicaid based health insurance. But we don't make enough to pay for any on our own! So, I might cut down a shift or 2 a week at work to make sure we're under the income level to qualify. Is that unethical or immoral? Both my hubby and I work and pay taxes. We also pay $10 a month for her insurance. We just can't do it on our own. I feel bad, but what else can I do?

Have you looked at your states program? For example here in PA there is supposedly no income limit on the childs health care program.

[Gendenwitha]

Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital

Cross-posted this in a discussion about SAH "welfare moms" in SAHM:

I work part time out of the home for 20 hours a week. I make $9.50 an hour which makes my take home pay about $700 a month.
With me not working, we got over $500 a month in food benefits.
While I am working we get about $100 in food benefits.
With me spending $35 a week on a babysitter and $70 every two weeks to fill up my gas tank plus the loss of food stamps, I am losing money to work, basically. I mean, if you count food benefits.
I am only open to working part time because I am in college full time, and I have very young children.
So.
Should I quit my job?

Don't forget to factor in EIC. If your 8400 is the only income that's about $3400 in EIC, or about 285 a month, probably a bit more, they haven't made the schedule for 2007 yet. +500+100-140-140=605 compared with 500. (And people wonder why we have the EIC. Mind if I use this as an example to people?)

If it's not the only income, don't forget to factor in child tax credit. With four kids, you might be in a spot where you don't get much in EIC OR CTC.

Also consider how your kids do in childcare. I had one son who was much better off in the social environment of childcare, one who was miserable and would have been better off with mom.

Also, so you have a college degree (eventually). What does that mean without work experience? How will working now affect future income? What happens if something gets in the way of you finishing college? Work experience becomes even more important.

And what is your personal preference? Personally, working gives me a sense of pride that I just don't get when I'm home or even when I'm only going to school. It's also a sanity break. I'm a lousy housekeeper, and a mediocre cook, but I'm a great employee, and a much better mother when I am not around them 24/7.

[DreamsInDigital]

Well, my DH can claim the EITC and CTC and we have never taken it as a monthly thing, only an end of year tax credit.
My current job has nothing to do with the college degree I'm seeking so no matter what I do, post college I will not have any experience in the field I am going to school for.
My job is meaningless and gives me no pride or sense of accomplishment, nothing but a headache and I miss my three month old baby all day long.
My children do not go to daycare, I have been having various friends and acquaintances come to my house to care for them on Mondays, and over the weekends DH has them.

[Gendenwitha]

Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital

Well, my DH can claim the EITC and CTC and we have never taken it as a monthly thing, only an end of year tax credit.
My current job has nothing to do with the college degree I'm seeking so no matter what I do, post college I will not have any experience in the field I am going to school for.
My job is meaningless and gives me no pride or sense of accomplishment, nothing but a headache and I miss my three month old baby all day long.
My children do not go to daycare, I have been having various friends and acquaintances come to my house to care for them on Mondays, and over the weekends DH has them.

If you're married, you get the max EIC in the 11,500 to 17,000 range. Lots of people will adjust their work schedules because when they start going up from 17k they lose money in their refund. The CTC is a little harder to figure out, but you could estimate it too.

For me, I feel better about working than taking money from charity or gov't program, even if I'm breaking even or worse, but that's just my value system, even if it isn't logical.

[mamamoo]

Originally Posted by Gendenwitha

If you're married, you get the max EIC in the 11,500 to 17,000 range. Lots of people will adjust their work schedules because when they start going up from 17k they lose money in their refund. The CTC is a little harder to figure out, but you could estimate it too.

For me, I feel better about working than taking money from charity or gov't program, even if I'm breaking even or worse, but that's just my value system, even if it isn't logical.

Your value system would make you want to be away from your 3 month old baby than to get food stamps?


Her baby needs her, and it is obvious that she needs to be with her baby. She is already going to school and her hubby is working. SHe is doing her fair share, and should be able to make the choice to stay home(a little more) without being made to feel like her values are in the wrong place.

This is a financially challenged SUPPORT thread.

[Thystle]

Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital

Well, my DH can claim the EITC and CTC and we have never taken it as a monthly thing, only an end of year tax credit.
My current job has nothing to do with the college degree I'm seeking so no matter what I do, post college I will not have any experience in the field I am going to school for.
My job is meaningless and gives me no pride or sense of accomplishment, nothing but a headache and I miss my three month old baby all day long.
My children do not go to daycare, I have been having various friends and acquaintances come to my house to care for them on Mondays, and over the weekends DH has them.

I think you just answered yourself right there.

{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by mamamoo

Your value system would make you want to be away from your 3 month old baby than to get food stamps?


Her baby needs her, and it is obvious that she needs to be with her baby. She is already going to school and her hubby is working. SHe is doing her fair share, and should be able to make the choice to stay home(a little more) without being made to feel like her values are in the wrong place.

This is a financially challenged SUPPORT thread.

:
and we obviously have different values. i don't know about the other mamas here but i value family over pride.

[DreamsInDigital]

I love you guys.

[canadiannancy]

Our situation is about to get worse. DH didn;t go to work this week, he got the girls' flu and was at the dr a couple of times...and today he tells me he is not going in tommorrow...he is just quitting.

I understand his frustration. He was working at a job, got laid off, they had him start working in a differnet part of the factory(meat packing plant rather then milk powders). He was told he was next on the list to go back to his original job and it has been over 1 year. However. His job since he went back in february is 15$ and hour with a raise in july. With medical benefits(paid for hospital room stays) and when we have some extra money it will cover dental and prescriptions too(we pay for those things then get reimbursed). He has no education(not even high school) no special skills no drivers license, relying on bicycle or public transit to get to jobs. And even though I begged him, literally he is quitting. Really one of the only things going for him was that he had a strong work ethic, and worked hard, took whatever shift and did a good job, he progressively got better jobs(from 7$ an hour when I met him) based on good references, which will be out the window when he quits by not even calling, just by not showing up. I don't know what we will do. Our only income will be our child tax credit, which is 366.66 a month for our family of 4. I was worried about stupid things like clothes, and staying cool when we have breathing problems with no ac...now I am going to have to worry about paying the rent.

[holyhelianthus]

oh Nancy!! x1,000,000,000!!!
i hope i am not out of line but is your DH maybe a little depressed? i can totally understand his frustration but sometimes when we are really down we can't think logically, ykwim? has he asked your third party () about it? again, i hope i'm not getting too personal and overstepping. you're in our prayers!!!

[Gendenwitha]

Originally Posted by mamamoo

Your value system would make you want to be away from your 3 month old baby than to get food stamps?

Her baby needs her, and it is obvious that she needs to be with her baby. She is already going to school and her hubby is working. SHe is doing her fair share, and should be able to make the choice to stay home(a little more) without being made to feel like her values are in the wrong place.

This is a financially challenged SUPPORT thread.

THIS is exactly why I don't like the censorship at Mothering. I'd really love to tell you where to go right now because I think you whole-heartedly deserve it, but that's not okay. But it's perfectly okay to attack MY value system if I'm in the minority.

I didn't tell her that her value system had to be the same as mine, just what mine was and that how she felt about such things should be taken into consideration. But you're going to tell her that her baby NEEDS her, (no guilt there if she decides to keep working...) and yes, I went back to work, 40 hours a week, five weeks post-partum (tried to make it 2 weeks but my boss refused) rather than collect food stamps any longer than the one month we got them, so OBVIOUSLY I was ignoring my baby's needs as well.

And even though we qualified I wouldn't have gotten them, but it was a hot July and our garbage service was cut off and I didn't think it was sanitary, sot that took our last $80, we had literally NO money in the bank, very little food in the pantry, a house going into foreclosure, and even then I almost didn't do it. We probably would have qualified for financial assistance too, but I didn't want to apply for it--just to let you know so you can tell me how my value system is wrong for that too... you seem to know how everyone else should live...

And you have the freaking NERVE to lecture ME that this is a SUPPORT BOARD?!!!!

[Kelly1216]

Nancy, that sucks! Can you convince him to at least give 2 weeks notice to avoid burning the bridge and the references? That would give him some time to look for another job as well. But I agree with Maggie that maybe he's depressed. Or is he still feeling sick? Maybe that's clouding his judgement.

Gendenwitha, I'm sorry you feel attacked. I understand where you were coming from with your post about prefering to work. My hubby is the same way. Whenever we've needed to borrow money, I've always been the one that needed to ask for it b/c he was too proud (embarassed, ashamed, someting?) to ask. It's hard when you feel like you're failing. Asking for help is like admiting it.
However, DreamsInDigital, in your case, I totally think you should quit. I would in your shoes. My dh wouldn't, but I would! You know what is best for your family, and it sounds like if you have the ability to stay home with your babe, that is what would be best for your family. I say go for it. (Although, I didn't understand any of the tax stuff, so I'm not taking any of that into account!)

everyone. Let's try to play nice and support everyone! (I feel kind of silly writing that, but oh well)

[JesseMomme]

: Can I hang out here for a few days? We don't know what is going on with "our" thread

[canadiannancy]

Originally Posted by Kelly1216

Nancy, that sucks! Can you convince him to at least give 2 weeks notice to avoid burning the bridge and the references? That would give him some time to look for another job as well. But I agree with Maggie that maybe he's depressed. Or is he still feeling sick? Maybe that's clouding his judgement.

I can't even convince him to call in and quit so he can get his record of emplyment and his accrued vacation pay...he just says he has had it and that is it. If he doesn't call soon I will. I really think he is depressed, it has affected other areas of his life too and he is acting totally unlike himself. I feel crappy...but we don't have room in this relationship for two people with depression! I was already freaking about money...but assuming things were going to get better...now I am really freaking.

[mamamoo]

Originally Posted by Gendenwitha

THIS is exactly why I don't like the censorship at Mothering. I'd really love to tell you where to go right now because I think you whole-heartedly deserve it, but that's not okay. But it's perfectly okay to attack MY value system if I'm in the minority.

I didn't tell her that her value system had to be the same as mine, just what mine was and that how she felt about such things should be taken into consideration. But you're going to tell her that her baby NEEDS her, (no guilt there if she decides to keep working...) and yes, I went back to work, 40 hours a week, five weeks post-partum (tried to make it 2 weeks but my boss refused) rather than collect food stamps any longer than the one month we got them, so OBVIOUSLY I was ignoring my baby's needs as well.

And even though we qualified I wouldn't have gotten them, but it was a hot July and our garbage service was cut off and I didn't think it was sanitary, sot that took our last $80, we had literally NO money in the bank, very little food in the pantry, a house going into foreclosure, and even then I almost didn't do it. We probably would have qualified for financial assistance too, but I didn't want to apply for it--just to let you know so you can tell me how my value system is wrong for that too... you seem to know how everyone else should live...

And you have the freaking NERVE to lecture ME that this is a SUPPORT BOARD?!!!!

You don't need to justify anything to me mama. I'm sorry you can't tell me where to go. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad about your decision, I was saying it was obvious she wanted to be home, and she should be home. She is working for nothing at this point and already in school.

I was not telling her her baby needed her, she is the one that OBVIOUSLY from her posts(did you read them??) needs to be home with her baby more. I thought it was rude for you to try to make her feel guilty for choosing to be on Public assistance so she can be home with her VERY young baby.

I am always so amazed when people get so angry about a statement like I made, I think way more was read into it that what I was trying to say. I do not get that mad when someone says I am a lazy low life for choosing to be on welfare so I can stay home with my kids. I know it is the right choice for my family, and I know it is not a life long thing. It's not my problem if someone else has issues with my choice. I guess I just am confident what I am doing is the right thing for ***MY*** family.

[mamamoo]

Originally Posted by canadiannancy

I can't even convince him to call in and quit so he can get his record of emplyment and his accrued vacation pay...he just says he has had it and that is it. If he doesn't call soon I will. I really think he is depressed, it has affected other areas of his life too and he is acting totally unlike himself. I feel crappy...but we don't have room in this relationship for two people with depression! I was already freaking about money...but assuming things were going to get better...now I am really freaking.

I am so sorry mama. I can't tell you how many times my hubby quit jobs that way before he went to school, and actually found something he likes to do. He's been with the same company for 3 years now( a record for him), and actually likes being there. He is still working his way up, and has some way to go before he's making a living wage, but it helps that he likes it.

Is there anyway you can talk your hubby into just sticking out for a little while longer til he has something else lined up? I am so very sorry.

[holyhelianthus]

you mamamoo!

k, mamas! i've got girlie clothes here from birth to age 7. now i only have a few in the later years like 2 or 3 sized 6 and 1 pair of shorts age 7 but i have LOADS in from 12-18 months. please PM me so i can lighten your load just a little bit and you can clean out my closet. i'm separating them by size and taking pictures or y'all so you know what i have and if you want them.

[Potty Diva]

Hey mamas. I'm sory feelings are getting hurt here. s to you

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by Potty Diva

Hey mamas. I'm sory feelings are getting hurt here. s to you

i'm sorry your thread disappeared!!! not cool. :