why do you not homeschool? - Page 2

[Lingmom]

All of the above...

I don't believe that I can or should be the sole provider of experiences for my kids.

I guess as a teacher and a student myself, I believe in formal education and the institution of schools and universities. I think there is a lot of value in it -- and it's not entirely about learning reading or math. It's about being a part of a larger community and having a shared tradition of learning and socializing.

[GearGirl]

Pretty much all of the above for me as well. I would homeschool a child that was miserable in school, but the community my son has at school is so important to him, he loves the interaction. I think schools are a valuable and important part of our society.

[meowee]

Originally Posted by Dobiecka

I don't believe that I can or should be the sole provider of experiences for my kids.

This is a big issue for me too. The responsibility and weight can feel crushing. :

[Ruthla]

I'm not HSing my oldest DD because she, personally, thrives in a school environment and would not do as well at home.

[RubyV]

We don't homeschool for several reasons:

My migraines can land me in bed for long periods of time. NOT a good educational enviroment IMO. Particularly if I wind up in a month long cycle.

She really enjoys being around lots of other people, and I really feel like playgroup, etc may not meet her needs.

I really dont have the energy to plan a curriculum, and keep up with it over the long tern.

[UUMom]

Originally Posted by Dobiecka

All of the above...

I don't believe that I can or should be the sole provider of experiences for my kids.

I guess as a teacher and a student myself, I believe in formal education and the institution of schools and universities. I think there is a lot of value in it -- and it's not entirely about learning reading or math. It's about being a part of a larger community and having a shared tradition of learning and socializing.

Hold on there, Nellie! You've touched upon an urban legend here. The belief by many non hsers that hsing families are not a part of their community, or that they are the sole providers of experiences for their children is patently false!

The hsers I know are in the community frequently, and deeply. Perhaps more so than many schooled children who must remain in one building, with one teacher for an entire day. (And there are exceptions there as well).

I have children in school, and two who are hs'd, and we are part of a thriving hsing community of sharers. It's not just my experience, it's pretty much across the board for the great majority of hsers in the US.

I think if you met with a large population of hsers in your own community, you would see a lovely, thriving variety of folks doing some very interesting, fun things out in the world. There imght be handful who lock their kids up tight, but there are more than a handful of children sufferring by being locked up in a school building day after day.

I offer this information not to debate hs Vs school, but to point out this belief is rooted in fantasy. We can't have a good conversation if beliefs that are rooted in myth are pesented as truth, kwim?

[wytchywoman]

My older son is 14, and just really needs a high level of social interaction. He needs to be with his peers otherwise he gets very, very bored and picks on his brother.
My younger son has autism, and I definitely do not have the education or experience to draft lesson plans and teach a child that is developmentally delayed. And he needs a good amount of social interaction too.

Namaste,

Michelle

[kewb]

I voted other. I would love to try my hand at homeschooling but right now it is not practical due to financial reasons. My children are thriving in public school so if our financial situation changes I will review at that time if we want to move forward with homeschooling. I have spoken with my children about it and they love the idea and look forward to the day when we can try it full time and not just when there is a vacation day.

[mata]

I voted other.

I revisit the idea of homeschooling periodically.
I do think it's completely possible for a homeschooled child to be fine around others-in fact, they probably stand a better chance of being a caring, nurturing person if they don't have to learn the coping mechanisms they might pick up in school.
Of course homeschooling can give a child a solid education-I do believe in the principle of simply facilitating their interests and letting them do the rest. I also am at odds with the standard definition of "well-educated"-I know what that means to me and homeschooling can provide it.
Homeschooling would work very well for our family-I am at home full time, and I think I'd be very good at it.

Having said all that-we don't homeschool.

I came to the intuitive conclusion that it just wasn't the best choice for my daughter. She is very, very attached to me-which is wonderful. But I feel she needs to experience things on her own, have her own feelings and thoughts away from me. I am very careful about her looking to me for approval, and if she's around me too much that can happen.

I also think she needs to know how to be who she is under imperfect circumstances. Mom and dad will always be there for emotional support when she needs it, but I think it's important to experience disappointment, injustice, difficult people, etc. and know how to handle them and yourself. She's got it pretty good at home-I don't think she'd encounter those things here very often.

And I also have strong feelings about "being the change." By our being part of the public school, people are required to understand us, to know us, to be respectful of how we are different. And I think my dd has a lot to contribute.

[treemom2]

Sorry, this is going to be kind of long. . .I voted other. In the beginning when I first put DD in school it was for several reasons. First, we had just moved to Japan and I wanted her to really get to know the culture and the language. DD is a very social creature and Japanese kindergartens (where children in Japan go from age 2-age 6) allow and encourage children to be social. Her school is very loving toward the children, they have healthy meals (can take as long as they need to eat), lots of free play time, art projects, an indoor swimming pool (DD loves to swim) with swimming lessons once a week, and almost no seat work (in fact, there are no desks in the room and the chairs tend to live in stacks until children are ready for lunch or are doing art). Also, DS was 11 months and I really wanted to get some alone time with him. Now DD and DS both attend the same school. DS really wanted to go with his sister and he started school in April. He loves it and is learning quite a bit of Japanese. After DD graduates at the end of this year we don't know what to do. I know I do not want her to attend the school on base (in the states there is no way my children would ever have attended public and many private schools). She does have the opportunity to attend a Japanese elementary school--which is what she really wants to do. She is fluent in Japanese and many of her friends would go to the same school. I have always planned on homeschooling her once she leaves the kindergarten, but I'm not sure I can remove her from the culture and friends she loves.

[Flor]

Ds loves his Montessori school. We are pleased with it all around. Dss has always loved public school, just his personality. It is starting to become more of an issue now that he is middle school, but he'd probably like a private school more. I work (I teach). Dh works. So far we are pleased and don't have a reason to change. Maybe I'm not cut out for it. I enjoy teaching groups of children.

[jkpmomtoboys]

I voted "other". Our local school is alternative and it rocks. That's why we don't homeschool.

[velochic]

One of our main reasons is because we want dd to have a truly multi-cultural, multi-lingual education. As a previous poster said, we're not talking about learning how ask where the bathroom is and count to 10 in another language via Rosetta Stone or Muzzy. Language immersion is about true fluency... speaking like a native speaker. Dd has been in this language immersion school for 2 years (she is in pre-k this year), and she's quickly becoming fluent (she spends 7 hours a day, 5 days a week speaking it), but she still has a long way to go. I think learning a foreign language is a joke in the US and it makes me cringe when I hear about how people here really think that their kids are going to learn a language by spending one hour a week in a class or with these computer programs. Don't get me wrong, I think any exposure is better than none. I just think that the majority don't really understand second language acquisition (for children or adults). Raising dd be mulit-lingual is one of our priorities with her education.

I also want an expert in education (not me) doing the educating. I'm an expert at being mommy, but I don't know anything about education. I also want people who have studied the actual subjects to teach those subjects. I could teach linguistics or computer science... dh could teach computer science or math/algebra/calculus/geometry... but we couldn't teach physics, chemistry, biology, civics, psychology, etc.

Heck, dd started reading (phonetically) just recently around her 5th birthday and I'm lost trying to figure out the best way to help her move along with her reading. Luckily, she's pretty much moving it along herself, otherwise I'd be really confused.

Oh, and, yeah, she's an only and we don't have any kids in the neighborhood that are close to her age, so I like her having interaction with peers.

[bdavis337]

My son LOVES going to school. Until that changes, he'll continue to attend.

I also work from home, providing childcare on a part time basis and also doing some financial work for a former employer of mine. I have a toddler, and I'm expecting. Add this all up and it doesn't make for an appropriate hs'ing environment - too many interruptions, obligations and outside interference.

[LauraLoo]

I didn't vote, but if I had it would have fallen under other.

For awhile I thought that maybe ds would be the perfect homeschooling candidate. We moved at the end of March, so effectively he finished his K year early. He has been BEGGING to go to school and thinks September is a billion years away. I would have never expected this from him because he struggled a lot this past year with K. In essence, we've been unschooling since we moved and I've noticed that ds thinks and learns, as best as I can describe it, in a circular, big picture way. He absorbs a lot by watching and listening to other people, thinks about it, and then applies it other ways. I have no idea how I could provide him enough of whatever he needs to effectively stimulate him. I definitely couldn't follow any type of pre-set curriculum.

I did find a Reggio Emilia program here that goes to grade 5, visited it, loved it and enrolled ds for next fall. He visited the school this past Fri. and loved it as well. It's perfect for him. However, if he has another miserable year like he did last year, I would definitely *try* to homeschool him.

DD will be starting preschool next fall, so we'll see how it goes with her. I have a strong feeling that she will LOVE being in school and all of the social stimulation being that she is a complete extrovert.

[mummyto3girls]

We've never consider it actually, and DH doesn't agree with it, and I don't the patience to teach.

DD1 loves her school, she loves her friends, her teachers she even loves the uniforms and DD2 is really excited about beginning school.

Why take that away from them?? And I also love that school

[Lingmom]

Originally Posted by UUMom

Hold on there, Nellie! You've touched upon an urban legend here. The belief by many non hsers that hsing families are not a part of their community, or that they are the sole providers of experiences for their children is patently false! ...

I offer this information not to debate hs Vs school, but to point out this belief is rooted in fantasy. We can't have a good conversation if beliefs that are rooted in myth are pesented as truth, kwim?

I'm only presenting my beliefs, not laying any claims to truth or myth or urban legend.

I am certain that homeschoolers are part of a community since learning in isolation would be a pretty lonesome task. And I know full well that learning can and does happen in many places and that there are many communities that one could belong to.

What I said was that I like the *institution* of school and the community of learning that belongs to it.

To me, formal education is kind of like organized religion. People can hold deep spiritual beliefs and never once enter a church (or synagogue or temple or other place of worship), just like you can be engaged in learning and never enter a school. But for me, I value the institution as well as the underlying purpose. I love the smell of the incense, the taste of the wine, the art on the walls, the beautiful organ music, the robes, the solemnity, the liturgy, the coffee hour, the social events... I love it all. And I think it's part of the package of religion - it supports it in a positive way.

In the same way, I like the institution of school. I love the way a sharp pencil writes, I love school desks in rows, calm teachers, hallways with art in them, chalkboards, the smell of a new textbook, the way kids run into the schoolyard at recess, cafeterias, spelling bees, sweaty locker-rooms, bells, brick buildings. I value the "schooliness" of school. I think it's a tradition that is worthwhile and supports the act of learning. I totally recognize it is not *learning* in itself. But I do think it's a relevant experience for children to have.

As for the sole provider of experiences -- I guess I wasn't clear. What I mean is that I'm a teacher (or I have been in the past), but I don't want to be a teacher (in a formal sense) for my kids. My partner is a doctor, but she isn't comfortable being their doctor. I believe that there are places in which my role as mom ends and another person's role begins. And for me, my momness and my teacherness don't need to mix.

That said, if my kids' experiences in school ever become horrible or unhealthy and no other option exists, I would certainly homeschool. It's just not an ideal option for me.

[eloquence]

Originally Posted by velochic

One of our main reasons is because we want dd to have a truly multi-cultural, multi-lingual education. .

And that is precisely why WE homeschool.

[~Megan~]

I'm not sure I can handle it. I think its best but am not sure I can provide adequate education. I am worried about my mental health actually.

[Gendenwitha]

So where's the "the kids and I would kill each other" selection?

Oldest aggravates me because he's distracted by every little stinking thing and I just loose patience, although I would like to homeschool for Jr High.

Younger brother will believe his teacher but not me when it comes to even simple stuff like spelling words ("fine, take your spelling list with "bunnyies" on it to your teacher and let HIM mark it wrong") so there's just no way.