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spinoff--paying for college for your kids? - Page 9

post #161 of 195
I want more than we surived. We surive living paycheck to paycheck and praying nothing as much as a light bulb burns out or were screwed. Its a bleek existance..Why do some assume helping or paying for college (if possible) means there child will be lazy?? I haven't finished my degree because I made the choice to stop in order to raise my kids thats my choice and one we made after careful consideration. DH however hold a full PH.D. Through college he worked multiple jobs at least one full time and several part time and all at the same time. He did thankfully get a good sized grant for his docorate but the rest he payed his parents gave nothing not so much as $20 for soup nothign and thye are VERY VERY well off. They have this idea that they have no obligation once there kid is 18. (their choice whatever) but despite working many jobs despite applying to multiple scholorships and such he still had massive loans when we married. And to add insult to injury despite his hard work excellent grades and impressive degrees. He makes around $15,000 a year and yes weve been job searching for years. So now hes practically killed him self put his family in extreme debt (and BTW its our only debt).
Right now we have no money to put aside we put away Christmas birthday funds and portions of our tax returns in the future we hope we can really help save and when shes old enough we will teach her to do the same. I also don't plan to force College on my children. If my DD decides to say stay home to raise kids that saving can also go to help fund her being able to do that, or it can go to take classes outside of a college setting. It basically will be their to use as she sees fit our only real requirment will be to "better" her self and life. That can be in many forms.
post #162 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by shayinme View Post
This is an interesting thread, it seems like those who say that the kids will get financial assistance such as scholarships or grants tend to be the folks who didn't go to college themselves.

This is not a slam but an observation both in this thread and in my own life, my ex husband seems to think that our son who will be heading to college in 3 years will get full scholarships to college. My ex did not go to college and I have a BA and a M.Ed that were financed primarily with loans.

Sadly because I went back to school when my son was 6 and finished last year when he was 14, paying for college is one of many things that keeps me up at night.

Shay
Weird that you would say such a thing. I'm currently working on my bachelor's and it is solely through grants, scholarships, and loans.

If we are unable to pay for our child's education she will have to find other sources of money, including scholarships, loans, and grants.

That's all there is to it.
post #163 of 195
also my husband received 2 associates from Pell grants and 2 scholarships and his bachelors through grants, 4 scholarships, and loans.

so why isn't it realistic to believe our daughter could do the same if she needed to?
post #164 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lilya View Post
I interviewed with Harvard and Yale. I know the guy from Harvard really liked me. He told me that he was concerned that I wasn't going to get in because of the financial situation. Harvard doesn't want people who need financial aid, they want people who can donate to the school.
Hey there -- in defense of Harvard, they do (at least now, I don't know how it was years ago) want people who need financial aid. Harvard is now free to those with family incomes less than $40,000. Also, most of their graduate programs (in the hard sciences) give full aid for the duration of the program. I got in, and I didn't have a cent.
post #165 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
also my husband received 2 associates from Pell grants and 2 scholarships and his bachelors through grants, 4 scholarships, and loans.

so why isn't it realistic to believe our daughter could do the same if she needed to?
She can lots of people do it every day. People overcome lots not just college. People figure out how to provide mediical care to dying family members despite having no money they figure out how to feed families of 10 off of $50 a month all sorts of situations are overcome. I don't want my child ever thinking because I'm not handing her $50,000 in funds that she can't have a college education. Not at all at the same time college is expensive VERY expensive not everyone has the oppurnuity to go stay at home and go some time even working full time still means massive loans not all even with great grades will recieve scholorships or pell grants. So for us we just want to as best we can provide the oppurnuity I do not want my child/ren to feel the financial stress we do if we can help it. I seriously doubt we will be able to pay it all but we will hope as best we can.
post #166 of 195
Deanna,

Thank you for responding to my post. If I may, I would like to make a gentle suggestion. If at all possible, and only because it was really difficult to follow your post and understand it, could you use puncuation? Thank you.

Peace.
post #167 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWine View Post
Hey there -- in defense of Harvard, they do (at least now, I don't know how it was years ago) want people who need financial aid. Harvard is now free to those with family incomes less than $40,000. Also, most of their graduate programs (in the hard sciences) give full aid for the duration of the program. I got in, and I didn't have a cent.
Well, I wouldn't have qualified for that either. My parents, both working, made more than $40,000. NYC is an expensive city, so what sounds like a lot of money in other parts of the country is almost nothing here. $40,000, after taxes, would probably just cover rent on a 2 bedroom apartment, and maybe a little more than that.
post #168 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWine View Post
Hey there -- in defense of Harvard, they do (at least now, I don't know how it was years ago) want people who need financial aid. Harvard is now free to those with family incomes less than $40,000. Also, most of their graduate programs (in the hard sciences) give full aid for the duration of the program. I got in, and I didn't have a cent.
I could spinoff a whole other thread about the ivies (and the like - top 25 liberal arts schools etc., even the top state schools) and how they have institutionalized racism, sexism, classism... in EVERYTHING - from admissions to student housing to athletics.

I also went to a "great school" and it's only with a little distance that I can see that with very very few exceptions, the people who were on financial aid were still the "right kind of people" (their perspective NOT mine) who still fit well within their schema for what smart, intelligent, upwardly mobile people looked like / sounded like / dressed like / cared about / studied / aspired to be.

I also have a really hard time with the fact that they've been dragged kicking and screaming into an era of even pretending to be diverse (and I do fully believe the diversity is "paper diversity" only). Let's face it - Harvard wouldn't exist if rich white people from Conneticut suddenly stopped sending their kids there... so they are completely devoted to and reliant on that "type" (wherever they live) continuing to make up a large portion of the student body.

Anyway I've enough about it as it is lol, but just didn't want people to get the idea that Harvard is somehow the great free melting pot of the north or something.
post #169 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lilya View Post
Well, I wouldn't have qualified for that either. My parents, both working, made more than $40,000. NYC is an expensive city, so what sounds like a lot of money in other parts of the country is almost nothing here. $40,000, after taxes, would probably just cover rent on a 2 bedroom apartment, and maybe a little more than that.
Yep. That's a huge problem - what families do you know can afford FIFTY TWO THOUSAND dollars a year in cash??? You need to be making nearly $100K *just to pay for college*!! And you have to be seriously upper income in order for $52K per year not to hurt BAD. And heaven help you if you have more than 1 kid in college at the same time, which A LOT of people do!

To get the "free ride", you have to be extremely poor... but still ace the SATs, do lots of AP courses, write an eloquent essay, and sail through your interview with a male 65 year-old Harvard alum who's been dispatched to your state to interview "some diversity candidates". Forget the fact that a lot of high schools don't do AP classes, the SATs are racially biased, speaking like "a rich white kid from Conneticut" isn't something that most families try hard to instill in their children (just laughing at the thought), etc. It's a bit of a stacked deck. But they sure are happy to give that kid a free ride when they finally find their great white hope. He'll even be positioned behind the President when he's speaking (good for photo ops), asked to join Student Government, and invited to attend alumni fundraising brunches. It's a racket.
post #170 of 195
I haven't read all the replies yet, but I will say that yes, my stbx and I plan to pay for as much of my son's college education as we possibly can, and we work hard to set aside money to do that. We are (well, he is) in a financial position where we can do a very good job at that, and Nate will have a great deal of money available to him for college, wherever he chooses to go.

STBX and I both graduated from college without a single cent of student loan debt -- he did it through scholarships and summer jobs, I did it through scholarships and parental help. (And yes, I'm talking the big-deal full-ride kind of scholarships -- my parents paid for my living expenses at a school 500 miles away from home, but never paid a cent in tuition or fees because of my scholarships. Husband had an even bigger scholarship than I did. Neither one of us was from a "very poor" family but we were both from very economically depressed rural areas, and neither of us went to a school that even offered AP courses. As a high school teacher, I'm aware that those kinds of scholarships are very difficult to procure, but they are not impossible. Just for the record, we both went to Texas A&M, which was an out-of-state school for both of us -- I'm from Mississippi and he's from Arkansas.) I think being able to start out, with a degree, in life with NO debt was probably the most meaningful "gift" my parents ever gave me and I am very appreciative of it, every day.

I hear all the time about people who don't "value" their education because they didn't have to pay for it, and I have NEVER run across that attitude. Everyone I know who was "given" a college education is very grateful for it and works hard to both take advantage of their education and to have the ability to provide the same for their children. Both of my sisters, through a series of poor choices, have been left with a great deal of student loan debt. Looking at how easy MY life has been, financially, compared to theirs makes me grateful every day that my parents were willing and able to do what they did for me. I consider it an obligation to provide as much of that for my son (and any other children I may have) as I can, and to be honest, whether or not I can do that for another child has played a very large role in my decision whether or not to have another one.
post #171 of 195
I will help her as much as I can and I'm looking into setting up a 529 next year with my tax return. Since the amount of financial aid she's eligible for will be directly impacted by my income until age 23, I feel I'm obligated to help her get a start.

I don't want her to end up dropping out of college like I did because I had to work full time to make sure I didn't get evicted or get my car repossessed -- both of which happened to me while I was in college.

That kind of stress is just unnecessary, especially when academic scholarships are dependent upon GPA. I will encourage her to take some time off after high school and really make a decision about what she wants to do. I don't feel it's necessary to go to college immediately after high school anyway. I think if I had taken some time off, caught my breath, and really found myself I wouldn't have switched majors three times and gotten frustrated because I wasn't happy with what I was doing.

Either way, she can live at home free as long as she's in college. If she decides to go the job route I expect her to contribute something to the household budget if she wants to live at home.

My credit is ruined right now primarily because I can't afford to pay my student loan every month. I don't want her to face that when she's trying to buy a house or start a family.
post #172 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
also my husband received 2 associates from Pell grants and 2 scholarships and his bachelors through grants, 4 scholarships, and loans.

so why isn't it realistic to believe our daughter could do the same if she needed to?
Income has a lot to do with it. In my case, when I started college I was a single mama with a fairly low income so I qualified for decent aid, that was at a junior college. (hell, I even remember getting a pell grant and this was back when it was a decent sum )

I later transferred to a 4 year school, was no longer single and our family income was not low income by a long shot though we also did not have the cash to just pay for school out right. Needless to say there was no pell grant and our EFC was pretty darn high something like 15-20K ( i went to a private school).

The thing is like others have said when your child is 17/18 and applying for college, the financial aid folks will be looking at your income and that will impact what she gets.

Its not impossible to get grants & scholarships however I think as more folks go to college there is just not enough free money out there. COnsidering that I have a kid who is 3 years from college, I am not betting his college education on the availability of free money based off my own experiences.

Howeever these are just my experiences, take it for what its worth.

Shay
post #173 of 195
Yes, I plan on helping my kids. My parents both worked very hard to help me through college. I had to work summers to contribute to tuition, and I had to work during the school year for my own spending money - but 4 years of college was paid for. Anything after that was my responsibility - you can bet I worked my butt off to get my BS in 4 years, and that included transferring to another school. I appreciate all that my parents did for me and in no way take my education for granted.
post #174 of 195
Another suggestion, and what we did for dd, is to have your child go to a community college for the first year or two. It costs half as much (as in-state tuition to a state university, say) and the credits transfer all the same. That not only saves money, it gives the youngster a chance to determine whether college is right for them at that particular point in time, and to get a feel for what is expected academically, without being thrown into the big pool and told to sink or swim.

It's like, the ultimate two-fer.
post #175 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
As soon as I graduate we'll start a fund.

We will help monetarily as much as we can. If we are unable to pay for college we will make sure she knows how to get money in others ways (through loans, grants, scholarships, etc).

Why would we do this? to help her get a foot up in the world with less financial struggles, or so we hope. Also an education is more than just learning math, science, english. It's about experiencing a new world and benefitting from that experience in your adult life. Through college she may have the opportunity to meet people with diverse backgrounds, travel to another country (through clubs) etc.
This is a great post and it sums up very well why I want to contribute as much as I can to finance my children's education. (I'm pretty sure this also pretty much exactly sums up my parents' approach to the matter.)

Unless there are major changes in the way children are educated in the U.S. in the next 18 years, the depth and intensity of study at a strong university or college are transformative experiences not available (and, teenagers what they are, perhaps not even possible) prior to completion of high school.
post #176 of 195
Here in Norway education is free, from 1.grade through university.. (Ofcourse, we have privateschools that cost money, but all universities are free.)

So my son doesn`t have to pay for school, and I don`t have to save up money for that, either. Most people take up studentloans anyway. To pay for livingexpences etc. But if Noah wants to live at home while studying, I would be happy to have him home. Then he would just need a small parttime job to get some spending money. And to help pay some food etc.

ETA: I DO save for my son. Not much, but a little every month. (I am a single SAHM, and money is extemely tight.) But the money doesn`t have to go towards education, since education is free in Norway.
post #177 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
I could spinoff a whole other thread about the ivies (and the like - top 25 liberal arts schools etc., even the top state schools) and how they have institutionalized racism, sexism, classism... in EVERYTHING - from admissions to student housing to athletics.

I also went to a "great school" and it's only with a little distance that I can see that with very very few exceptions, the people who were on financial aid were still the "right kind of people" (their perspective NOT mine) who still fit well within their schema for what smart, intelligent, upwardly mobile people looked like / sounded like / dressed like / cared about / studied / aspired to be.

I also have a really hard time with the fact that they've been dragged kicking and screaming into an era of even pretending to be diverse (and I do fully believe the diversity is "paper diversity" only). Let's face it - Harvard wouldn't exist if rich white people from Conneticut suddenly stopped sending their kids there... so they are completely devoted to and reliant on that "type" (wherever they live) continuing to make up a large portion of the student body.

Anyway I've enough about it as it is lol, but just didn't want people to get the idea that Harvard is somehow the great free melting pot of the north or something.
I agree that Harvard is not the "great free melting pot of the north." That's a really funny quote, by the way.

However, I don't think Harvard would cease to exist if there were no more "rich white people from Conneticut..sending their kids there." Harvard has a zillion dollars, they don't need to accept any more rich families.

I don't know enough about the inside workings of Harvard to agree or disagree with the rest of your post. I do know that the people I went to school with there -- people from Argentina, Canada, the USA, Kenya, and India -- were all extremely nice, intelligent, wonderful people.
post #178 of 195
I think it's a great gift for a child- I enjoyed graduating not crushed by debt and felt freer to explore working without just worrying about paying debt. I probably took it for granted in a way, but I didn't slack or not work hard b/c of it.

We started funds for each after their birth, but at this point the contirbutions have stopped for a while, sadly. I hope to pay for as much as possible, but with tuition so high it's likely we won't be able to fund it all, even if we save over the next 18 years. It depresses me how high it is for so many schools. And I had a great experience going out of state and enjoying a different part of the country. I doubt I'll be able to give that to my kids. In my mind, funding hundreds of thousands for each kid is just not realistic for most people. We just don't make a lot. I feel like we'll have to win the lottery or maybe we'll be able to use some inherited money or something. I don't see how else we could pay for full tuition for more than one.

That said, I will put retirement savings first. And then just save as much as I can for them.
post #179 of 195
ok, look up my earilier post in this thread id you want to.

I have realized since reading further in this thread, that I will encourage my kids to go to school once the are considered INDEPENDENT. Then they can get their own loans at great interest rates, rather than me being responsible for them.

post #180 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
I could spinoff a whole other thread about the ivies (and the like - top 25 liberal arts schools etc., even the top state schools) and how they have institutionalized racism, sexism, classism... in EVERYTHING - from admissions to student housing to athletics.

I also went to a "great school" and it's only with a little distance that I can see that with very very few exceptions, the people who were on financial aid were still the "right kind of people" (their perspective NOT mine) who still fit well within their schema for what smart, intelligent, upwardly mobile people looked like / sounded like / dressed like / cared about / studied / aspired to be.

I also have a really hard time with the fact that they've been dragged kicking and screaming into an era of even pretending to be diverse (and I do fully believe the diversity is "paper diversity" only). Let's face it - Harvard wouldn't exist if rich white people from Conneticut suddenly stopped sending their kids there... so they are completely devoted to and reliant on that "type" (wherever they live) continuing to make up a large portion of the student body.

Anyway I've enough about it as it is lol, but just didn't want people to get the idea that Harvard is somehow the great free melting pot of the north or something.
My experience working in the admissions office at MIT (you know, the other, better Harvard ) was that a lot of smart caring people worked incredibly hard to create a diverse, creative, talented and deserving student body. Although the dean of admissions never graduated college herself....
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