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spinoff--paying for college for your kids? - Page 5

post #81 of 195
Those of you who say you plan to provide "room and board" for your children while they are in college; don't you think that living away from home is as much a part of their "education" as the book learning is?

I don't know a lot of college age young adults who want to live at home for 4 years after they graduate high school.

My dd is 19 and is in her second year of university. She lived at home for the first year but she has now moved into her first apartment, about 2 miles from home. I pay 100% of her college tuition, and I contribute around $300 a month to help her with living expenses. The rest she pays for on her own; she works part time at a bookstore.
post #82 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post
This is a very narrow-minded view. It's simply not true. My sister has a son going to college this fall. They make too much to get ANY kind of aid, but because he has a congenital liver disease, they have $0 for college for him due to 15 years of very expensive medical bills. They have NO federal aid awarded to them. My nephew is not eligible for any federal aid at all, either. They have poor credit because of the medical bills, so they cannot get a loan. She is now wringing her hands trying to figure out how she can help him go to school. Just yesterday she was crying on my shoulder saying how she wishes she had saved for him to go to college.
My brother put himself through college by getitng a job working for the adjoining law school admissions office. He would take classes at night mostly. He could only take so many credits a quarter, but he continued to take classes during the summer, etc so he graduated I think only one semester over four years. Maybe that might be an option?
post #83 of 195
I replied a long time ago but have been thinking more about it. I said before that we are saving but that I believe it will not be nearly enough.

BUT, I somehow completely forgot that dh and I BOTH work for a public university. Duh. If we still work there in 15 years....long shot.....dd could go there for 1/2 price. I would not encourage her to live at home unless she wanted to. I do feel strongly that part of the college experience is living on your own (if you are ready). I also forgot that she is, and always will be, the only grandchild on both sides of the family. There is a good chance the grandparents would like to help too. So there are options. Of course there is a good chance dd will not want to go to college at all since we are unschooling. I would also wager that our particular university might not be number one on her list since it is an engineering school. We do not have a community college....
post #84 of 195
If all goes as planned DH & I will be able to provide our children with a college education and grad school, possibly with the help of some student loans and grants.

The reason we want to do this is because we believe it is our obligation as parents to give our children the best education we can and this includes college and grad/medical/law/trade school.
post #85 of 195
That's our plan, too, kewb.
post #86 of 195
Quote:
BUT, I somehow completely forgot that dh and I BOTH work for a public university. Duh. If we still work there in 15 years....long shot.....dd could go there for 1/2 price.
I really wish my public university employer had this kind of deal. They only offer children of employees $500 per semester right now. And it's contract-dependent, so it could go away completely by the time my kids are college age.
post #87 of 195
[QUOTE=nonconformnmom;8134884]Those of you who say you plan to provide "room and board" for your children while they are in college; don't you think that living away from home is as much a part of their "education" as the book learning is?

/QUOTE]



: Living at school was a huge part of my college experience.
post #88 of 195
We are paying off debt right now, but by this time next year, we hope to be able to start saving for our children's futures. We should have about $25,000 saved for each child by the time they each turn 18. I'm not pressuring my children to go to college -- that will be a decision they make for themselves -- but the money will (hopefully) be there for whatever they need, whether it be school, a car, a house, start-up for a business, etc.

Obviously $25,000 won't be nearly enough if they plan on going to 4-year colleges, grad schools, etc., but we will most likely take out loans for them in that case.
post #89 of 195
Yes. The cost of college is rising more the inflation. Even adjusting for today's dollars, it will cost SO MUCH MORE for my children than when I was in school. It is already more than $45K per year at some schools to attend college, which is TWICE what it was when I was in school just 12 years ago!! What kid do you know can work their way through college NETTING $40K??? That's like making $75K a year.... if they could make $75K a year working part-time I doubt they'd have any desire to go to college, lol. And state schools are hardly much better -- they used to be super cheap but they just flat out aren't anymore. My state school costs $23K per year!! The days of working in the lunch room or at a little job on the side to offset (much less pay for) tuition, room & board are, in my opinion, GONE. Sure I want my kids to contribute, but being realistic, the percentage that they will be able to contribute to their education costs is plummeting - I mean nosediving - by the year as the costs of college skyrocket.

And expecting us to get loans is taking a big gamble... we'd be unlikely to qualify for much today and who knows what the situation will be in 20 years. Also, I really don't want to have to bank on the fact that my kid is a soccer star or whatever... I hate the idea of having an interest of theirs be judged in terms of whether or not it will "help with college" (i.e., scholarships). Finally, if one of my kids is brilliant and could get into a great school and wants to be a rocket scientist or whatever, it would kill me, just break my heart, to have them go to a mediocre place instead of an amazing academic institution just because we couldn't afford it -- and on the flip side, I also don't like the idea of having to pressure my kids to be #1 in school or have to load up on AP courses or be a whiz kid on the SATs - always freaking out about every grade and test... what if my kid isn't destined to attend a traditional college/university? If they want to go to a vocational school or art school or cooking school... I can help them do that - these schools cost money too and I want to be able to support their education no matter what it may be.
post #90 of 195
I can't promise that I will pay 100% of all college expenses because it may just not be feasible. However, we will make sure that with a combination of assistance from us, scholarships, and loans our children can attend any college they are admitted to. To make sure this happens, we will be limiting the number of children we have to the number that we can afford to send to school.
post #91 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonconformnmom View Post
Those of you who say you plan to provide "room and board" for your children while they are in college; don't you think that living away from home is as much a part of their "education" as the book learning is?[/QUOTE
We want to be able help our kids in the ways that we can but we are low income and simply can't afford fto help with living living expenses. If they are able to find a roommate somewhere and can afford it, then they are certainly welcome to.
DS1 will be going to Job Corps when he is 16, he will get a good dose of campus life there and if he wishes he can enter into the college program (live there/go to CC) for 2 years after he gets his HS diploma and vocational training.
post #92 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonconformnmom View Post
Those of you who say you plan to provide "room and board" for your children while they are in college; don't you think that living away from home is as much a part of their "education" as the book learning is?
I will leave that up to my kids. I had no interest in living on campus when I started college out of high school. I have a friend who spent the first two years at home, then transferred to the main campus and lived in a dorm.

I don't really think that there is a need to live away from home. I will leave it up to them to decide. I know the college I attend, the main campus requires freshmen to live on campus in the dorms.
post #93 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by glendora View Post
Okay, but what's that do for your 3.9 kid?

'Cause that was me. 3.98. AP. Extra curriculars. Trailer trash. The whole nine yards.

For bupkiss. I got 180 dollars total in scholarships.

It's better to tell your kid that you just don't care if they go, than it is to tell them to depend on scholarship money.
I don't disagree with you. I was simply pointing out that there are excellent scholarships available to the brightest students. I was a great student with excellent (but not perfect) grades and scores, but I didn't receive a full ride. I understand what you're saying.
post #94 of 195
Our culture deals with education very poorly, expecting unestablished teenagers to take on the burden of tens of thousands of government loans with the idea that said government will then provide an excellent economy in which the graduate can then establish themselves and pay off the loans over the nexts 20-30 years when they should be saving for a home and retirement.

Look at teachers in my area who are expected to earn Master's degrees to teach kindergarten then they're not paid well at all. A freaking Master's degree and then paid half of what my hair stylist friend earns in her upscale salon and not even a high school diploma.

It's madness.

My hope is that we will always pay for all of our Dd's educational experiences and with buying her first home, too. My feeling is that it's our responsibility to get her established in life.
post #95 of 195
we are saving for our dd's education and will do the same for future children, but it won't be to pay for it all, it will just be a bit to help out.
Our chldren will be welcome to live at home while they are students but we will have to work out an agreement when the time comes, I don't think it would be good to foot their entire rent/utilities and food bill.
post #96 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyWild View Post
Our culture deals with education very poorly, expecting unestablished teenagers to take on the burden of tens of thousands of government loans with the idea that said government will then provide an excellent economy in which the graduate can then establish themselves and pay off the loans over the nexts 20-30 years when they should be saving for a home and retirement.
Yup :

My parents paid for my first four years of school. Because I switched to my major a little late in the game and am going on my fifth year, I will pay for the remaining semesters. That was the original agreement, and I think it's perfectly fair.

I live at home. I have not had to work three jobs and struggle to maintain near straight A's while paying for my rent. Instead I care for my younger siblings and my grandfather who has Alzheimer's. I cook, clean, do home repairs, and generally act like a responsible adult. I may not live on my own, but I've learned a lot about life by rising to the challenge of being a contributing member of our household.

Do I wish I lived on campus? Not for a minute : Many of my friends have absolutely loved dorm life, or living on their own, and that's great for them. Really. But college isn't the real world, and living on campus can be even more insular than living with your family. I've stayed at home *and* I've grown up, and have learned to make wise financial choices without first putting myself in debt.

I definitely plan to help my kids with their college tuition.
post #97 of 195
We will help as much as possible, and is a real incentive to limit family size.

My family did not contribute, and I had to work full time. As a result, I never finished college.

I started college 12 years ago, and had to leave several times due to finances. I don't want that for my child.

Tap/pell weren't nearly enough to help out.

When I left school for the 3rd time a year and a half ago (once again, no money), I had a 3.8 gpa. Very few scholarships are available that can really help, even less if you are an adult student.

Hopefully, in a few years I will be able to finish my undergraduate education and go to div school.
post #98 of 195
I know it might sound cruel, but we aren't saving for our kids college. We will support them in any other way so that they can go (live here without paying rent, feed them, do their laundry, etc). Both my parents and my ils did the same for dh and me.

I've seen too many parents (both of my friends and in our families) were the parents either resented that they were paying for their kids schooling or that they became obsessed with what classes were being taken, where the kid was living, how many times a major was changed, etc. I've also seen the "if you don't do it our way we'll cut off your $". I don't want that kind of dynamic.

Plus I think that if you work for something it means more to you and you take it more seriously. When you've earned the $1500 (or whatever amount, this was just a random #) for a couple classes and wrote the check out yourself it is a big sense of accomplishment.
post #99 of 195
DS is 6 months old, and we have already started a college fund for him. College is expensive, and as his parents I think we should help him out with it.

I am in school now and it's really expensive. It would've been nice if my parents had saved even a little bit of money for me for books or something.
post #100 of 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2 in August View Post
Plus I think that if you work for something it means more to you and you take it more seriously. When you've earned the $1500 (or whatever amount, this was just a random #) for a couple classes and wrote the check out yourself it is a big sense of accomplishment.
Or when you've finished your financial aid paperwork and signed off on a several thousand dollar loan, it's a big sense of dread.

Whether or not you take college seriously does not hinge on whether or not you're paying for it. I'm sorry, but if you're slacking off because your parents are paying, then you've got much bigger issues. I work hard *because* my parents are paying for it.

And yeah, some parents have a set of rules that go along with their financial investment. It's their money, and I'll say it again, if the dividing issue is going to be whether or not your kid can take certain classes then the issue is *larger* than who's paying for those classes.

Parents who have an open and honest relationship with their near-adult children should be able to work out an agreement regarding classes. My parents did: we'll pay for the first four years. I went beyond that because of a major change (that they totally support) and I have taken out a loan to pay for my final year.

The substance of relationships often becomes exposed when finances are involved. But the finances do not create the substance of those relationships.
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