Quote:
Originally Posted by MsBlack  Mamabearing--
This is what I actually said, which you seem to have missed:
"But it is wise, I think, to have a plan in mind--such as being ready with a report and pertinent records, which make both me and my clients appear more sane, as well as easing the transition quite a lot in many cases. "
I did NOT say that out of a wish to protect myself legally, I would fail to provide a report. Such a thing, having a direct bearing on the life and health of a mother and her child, would be unthinkable for me--and in fact I am quite clear from the outset with clients that I will do everything in my power to aid transport should that become necessary, EVEN THAT WHICH COULD HAVE MY ASS THROWN IN JAIL.
I also do not appreciate your assumption that I--or any homebirth mw--is emotionally unprepared to face disaster or loss. Nor the assumption that one is somehow less likely to experience those disasters and losses in the hospital than at home. Nor the assumption that confronting such awful matters is somehow easier in the hospital, under the aegis of 'well at least by being in the hospital, we did all the best of everything available'. Apples and oranges--do the research, as I have done and expect all my clients to do, on relative risks.
As for your post in general, I agree that it would be a good starter for another thread.
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I sincerely apologize I really did misinterpet what you said.
You misinterpeted too a lot of what I said. I was talking about ME. I have had LONG talks with homebirth midwives and yes, they know, given time, they will have to confront a disaster.
I said, not speaking for you, but for me, I was planning to be a midwife at home, that I was frightened by the prospect of a neonatal resuscitation at home after seeing the difference in a hospital. I am frightened of working in a hospital without a NICU frankly when I see the difference in skill between someone who does it everyday vs once in very long while.
I completely and totally respect you for doing what you feel is best, and being braver than me and being willing to take the risk of "being thrown in jail".
I did read it wrong and I am truly sorry. I did not mean to insult you or anyone.
PS I want to address this too
"I also do not appreciate your assumption that I--or any homebirth mw--is emotionally unprepared to face disaster or loss. Nor the assumption that one is somehow less likely to experience those disasters and losses in the hospital than at home. Nor the assumption that confronting such awful matters is somehow easier in the hospital, under the aegis of 'well at least by being in the hospital, we did all the best of everything available'. Apples and oranges--do the research, as I have done and expect all my clients to do, on relative risks"
I really know that most are prepared emotionally. I said "I" knew I couldn't be.
I think I am infinitely more likely and probably have seen more disasters and losses in the hospital. I work in a high risk center. Yes, certain parts of confronting a disaster are easier in a hospital...but for me it isn't that I think it is only that the best of everything is available. If you know you are most likely to have a disaster it IS comforting to have a NICU behind you. It doesn't make footprinting a dead baby easier or facing the parents easier and I don't know that it is easier for me in a hospital than a midwife at home. What I do know is it is less likely to make the paper, I am less likely to go to jail, and that in general, society will support me more. I also KNOW that is horribly unfair.
In terms of research, in my next post I tell of my own homebirth experience, which was wonderful by the way, and that yes, my midwives unflinchingly discussed relative risks. But part of the reason I want dialogue between the two camps is at the extremes of both camps are people who I believe will only look at research that supports what they already believe. I am a rare person who came to change my mind. I have seen it go the other way too.
Anyway, I feel awful that I thought what you were saying is you would leave a mom in danger because you might go to jail. You are right, that is how I read it. And I am truly and deeply sorry and respect you so much standing by them despite the personal risk you take in doing so. That shows tremendous integrity and I applaud it.
One more edit...what I said ALL WRONG...I was asking...not accusing...really!
"But from the providers point of view....if you are busy you will see thousands of births...and sooner or later you will have a baby or mom with something that would have likely had a better outcome in the hospital setting. 1:1000 becomes a certainty if you are the care provider over ten years? Are you emotionally able to deal with that? You can intellectually know that you might have saved hundreds of unneeded C/S and some of your babies and moms were saved hospital acquired infections and iatrogenic causes of loss( such as a medication error). But the reality will be you will have to face that mom, who, as is normal in the grieving procces, has a good chance of blaming herself and/or you. "
The point I was trying to make was how do you cope with it...in question form...not accusation form. I was also saying it scared me out of homebirth. Because I know that emotionally its just hard enough when you have the vast majority of public opinion on your side. But looking back...my words we are you prepared? Not I wasn't prepared. But my question really was more...how do you cope with it.
Actually, there is a post here from a doula who gets a lot of advice about how to cope. And it looks like the same way nurses and doctors in hospitals do....crying...pulling over on the way home...questioning yourself...journaling.
Again, I respect you for standing by the moms you work with despite risk to yourself. I hope somehow my sincerity in that comes through the words I have chosen.
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