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Finally joining your club!  

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Well, I am 13 weeks 5 days and I have finally decided to join the club. I have read quite a few of the previous postings, but certainly not all of them...you ladies are prolific writers!

My name is Tracy and this is our 12th baby. We have three living children and we have lost 8 babies to miscarriages. Our three are Blythe, age 10 3/4, Keziah, 6 1/2 and Fisher, 2 1/2. We are a homeschooling family and live on five beautiful acres in Idaho. I am a doula and CBE and have been practicing for over 10 years. All of our babies have been born at home and have nursed till 3+. I am trying to wean Fisher because nursing is driving me crazy, but he still nurses a little for the time being. I am a lover of books and learning of all types, am learning to play the cello, teach gymnastics to homeschooled children, and lead a book discussion group.

I have spent most of the past 3 months in bed being very nauseous and just plain exhausted!

That is me in a nutshell...glad to have made it this far in our pregnancy and praying we stick it out to the end!

Tracy
post #2 of 23
Welcome, Tracy. It is great to have you here. I have also been very sick with this pregnancy and nursing drives me crazy, too But ds is too young to wean, so I am trying to tough it out.
I hope you will feel better soon!!!!
Liane
post #3 of 23


Welcome Tracy
post #4 of 23
Welcome, Tracy!

My parents live in Boise...they love it and refuse to leave despite years of us begging them to move closer to their grandchildren...

I am so sorry for your losses. You sound like a wonderful, strong mama! At 13 weeks, do you feel a little more at ease? I had an 8-week miscarriage and always breathe a little easier after that time...but the fear never really goes away. My friends who have suffered later miscarriages have a really hard time for much longer...

This is a really supportive group of mamas to lean on.

Yes some of us post a lot!! I'm one of those prolific pests because I've been mostly bedridden with hyperemesis. (And the rest of the ddc moans "must Jessica find a way to mention that in EVERY single thread?")

Seriously, I've grown quite attached to the other mamas here and I look forward to getting to know you as well. Welcome!
post #5 of 23
Welcome, and congratulations on your pregnancy!

How wonderful that you're homeschooling. I can't wait to teach my kids someday, and judging from your love of learning, it's beneficial for parents as well
post #6 of 23
Thread Starter 
Thank you for your kind words...each of the babies we have lost are in our hearts and I firmly believe I will get to raise them someday.

Yes, we are feeling a little "safe", now that we have made it this far...but you never know what tomorrow will bring. My goal for this pregnancy was to be WILLING to love a child for however long I got to keep him/her, be it a day, a few months, or a lifetime. Having a willing heart has brought me peace. I haven't always felt this way...in the past, I have been angry, sad, controlling, depressed, void of any hope at all, and a myriad of many other emotions. I have told God, please don't allow me to be pregnant ever again. I can't lose another child! I have wailed, I have sobbed, I have closed my heart to loving another child. Finally, God opened my heart again and this time I am trying to be willing to adore this baby for as long as I have him/her.

It has made a HUGE difference.

Tracy
post #7 of 23
hooray! Welcome
post #8 of 23
Welcome, Tracy! It's wonderful to have you here.
post #9 of 23
Welcome Tracy! We are glad to have you join us!
post #10 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2bmw View Post
Thank you for your kind words...each of the babies we have lost are in our hearts and I firmly believe I will get to raise them someday.

Yes, we are feeling a little "safe", now that we have made it this far...but you never know what tomorrow will bring. My goal for this pregnancy was to be WILLING to love a child for however long I got to keep him/her, be it a day, a few months, or a lifetime. Having a willing heart has brought me peace. I haven't always felt this way...in the past, I have been angry, sad, controlling, depressed, void of any hope at all, and a myriad of many other emotions. I have told God, please don't allow me to be pregnant ever again. I can't lose another child! I have wailed, I have sobbed, I have closed my heart to loving another child. Finally, God opened my heart again and this time I am trying to be willing to adore this baby for as long as I have him/her.

It has made a HUGE difference.

Tracy
OMG You seriously made me cry. I love that!! I am taking that to heart.

And welcome BTW. And congrats on your new bean! Wishing you a healthy and happy 9 months!
post #11 of 23
Welcome! Sounds like you are one busy lady!
post #12 of 23
welcome

i have a tot helping -- so osrry if i missed this

are you past the point now where the other losses happned?

Aimee
post #13 of 23
Welcome Tracy!! for your previous losses, but vibes for your current bean! I'm glad you're here and hope you're feeling better than you have been. First tri was rough on me too, just as far as exhaustion is concerned.
post #14 of 23
welcome!!
post #15 of 23
Welcome to MDC and the DDC! Congrats on your pregnancy!
post #16 of 23
welcome and many hugs to you.. what is your EDD? we look forward to getting to know you!
post #17 of 23
Welcome Tracy and I love your attitude about loving the baby each day that it is there! Hoping for a good long 7 more months of internal loving for you and this babe.
post #18 of 23
Thread Starter 
Yes, we are further along than our losses. Our longest pregnancy that ended in miscarriage ended at 12 weeks with the loss of a 2nd twin. We lost the first twin a few weeks before.

To the person who asked what my due date is...well, I don't believe in the whole notion of "due dates"...I believe babies come when they are ready to come...and that the whole idea of a date really does a disservice to women. I wish we talked about due months or due seasons...or just how far along we are and then people know how long we have left in a general sort of way. I don't know if this concept makes sense to anyone else, but it is something I feel very strongly about.

So, I am due this fall <g>!

By the way...I myself was born at 44 weeks and my mom was a 7 1/2 lb. twin born at 41 1/2 weeks...so we gestate long and have learned to enjoy these longer pregnancies.

Tracy
Wife and soulmate to Richard for 14 years
Mama to Blythe, Keziah, and Fisher, 8 babies taken to God, and one on the way!
Doula, CBE, Breastfeeding and Attachment Parenting Instructor, and lover of life!
post #19 of 23
Welcome and congratulations!!!
post #20 of 23
Welcome, Tracy! I am so sorry for your losses.

You sound very strong and seem to have a tremendous faith in God to take care of you and your little one. I pray everything is perfect for you!
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