I am 19, expecting, how do I tell everyone?

[SeaDoula]

Hello All,

Dp and I officially found out we are expecting. We're really excited!

I have been a doula since I was 17, and I am applying to midwifery school this year...I just love children and birth, so not everything will be new to me except that now I am the one experiencing this first hand.

I know that I am only 19, and this was unplanned but we both feel ready, and happy. I am scared to tell my family, his family, and my friends. I feel like although we are both really happy and excited we both sort of wish we didn't have to tell anyone! hahaha. He is 24 so it is not as big of a stigma for him to have children, but I feel like I will just be the girl who got knocked up.

I was just wondering if I could get your thoughts and suggestions on the issue. When should we tell everyone, how?

My family lives in another state, and most of his lives where we do.

[iamama]

I don't know....

But Welome and congrats!

[simplehome]

I'm in the Seattle area, too!

I'd wait a little while, get your "lines" straight with each other, take some time to enjoy your little secret, then tell people as it starts to be more comfortable for you. It'll probably shock some of them, but if you're happy and confident, then they'll see (hear) that and will come around and hopefully be supportive. Just don't feel like you have to rush to tell them if you're not ready to yet.

Congratulations!!

[frogleymom]

Personally, I'd wait a while to tell anyone. Especially if you feel that you're not going to get a good reaction. You might as well enjoy being pregnant while you can't be criticized for it. But don't wait too long, you wouldn't want family and friends to think you were hiding it because you're ashamed or something.

Congrats!!

Emily

[g&a]

I was just thinking that your attitude when you tell them will definitely have a big influence on how people react. You should show them how excited you are. Say "Guess what!" and tell them and then let the perma-grin show.

Then if they do criticize you ignore it. That's their problem if they don't approve.

good luck!! I don't think there's anything wrong with having kids at 19! I wish my body was 19 again.

g.

[Everrgreen]

I am 24 and TTC my first, I am already worried about what I will say to my dad. I think at any age you can be nervous about telling parents. I am just planning to be nothing but happy and excited. If I brought it up nervously, with "dad, I have something to tell you" then the whole thing is already tainted. So just be happy and excited and set the mood yourself. I'm sure everything will be fine for you and your family will fall in love with the idea of having a new grandchild, niece/nephew, etc.
Good Luck and Congratulations!

[Momma2DoubleCuties]

Anymore 19 isn't that young. You seem to have you head on straight and your career lines down. I had my first at 19, it was a shock but the best thing that could have ever happened to me. We're now expecting our 3rd baby together and couldn't have asked for a better life.

Congrats and enjoy your pregnancy!

[Peacemamalove]

When I was pregnant with my first i was only 18..I told everyone when I was about 8 weeks along my mom and DH mom where really shocked but then they were fine with it and were actually really excited about it as it was the first grandchild...Now is the hard part for me I haven't told anyone about being pregnant with #3 cause I am afraid of how they will react......:

[Spirulina&Sage]

Originally Posted by zahirakids

Now is the hard part for me I haven't told anyone about being pregnant with #3 cause I am afraid of how they will react......:

:

i was 20 when i got pregnant with my first. not super young but it was still scary telling everyone. it didn't go over well with my family, but they did get over it and love my son.
i was scared to death of telling anyone but my dp about my 2nd till i was about 4 months along or so.. it was just not something i wanted to deal with (negative thoughts and people thinking i was : ) now im there again.. but it all works out and they always Love them...

congrats!!
mdc mommas can be happy and excited for you, which has meant a great deal to me.

[bobandjess99]

Hi! Congrats!!

I agree your attitude will have a big impact....
Personally, and I know opinions on this vary, I am a HUGE advocate of the "wait until 12 weeks to tell people" rule.
The pregnancy is progressing well, your m/c rate goes way down, you have time to feel special all by yourself and really get used to everything, and it let's people know you are serious about completing the pregnancy and aren't looking for..umm..suggestions on what to do..etc.

best wishes!

[kehliouise]

I was 21 when I got "knocked up." I ended up telling my mother in the middle of steinmart. she freaked out. probably not the best place to tell, but i just didn't want it to be an experience where i sat her down and told her. i just blurted it out. she told my dad so i didn't have to. he and i just never really talked about it at all. he made jokes about me being knocked up and that was how he dealt with it. my mother called me a slut, but now she loves my son. i also don't know how to tell them this time around either. my mother sort of has a negative attitude about having children. i also think she believes in having just one. she thinks they take to much out of you, she is very carrier minded. i agree that attitude is also important. i recommend that you wait and enjoy things for a while and then spring the news. congratulations!

[Elaina_Bell_19]

I was 19 when I got pregnant with my son and 19 when he was born. Its not that bad at all. Im 20 and expecting number 2. My parents took it as a shock but a lot of it was that I told her over the phone which I shouldnt have done. You really just have to play the cards right. And if they freak out they freak out, eventually they will get over it belive me. My mom didnt want to be a grandma and all that and wanted to be called nanna instead and now she calls herself grandma.

Congrats hun

[kirk_heidi]

I am in the December ddc but I wanted to congratulate you. There will always be people who aren't happy for you so the best you can do is just have a good attitude and let them know how excited you and your partner are. If they really care then they will be a little more cautious in the way they respond...well sometime but not always. It sounds to me like you have it together and anyone who knows you should be excited for you both. Try not to stress out about it and enjoy your pregnancy. I hope you and you partner have many wonderful years ahead, that your baby is healthy and that all of your futures are wonderful!

[SeaDoula]

Thank you!

I really appreciate all the well wishes. I agree that my attitude will really set the mood for everyone to follow. On the one hand I do want to wait until closer to the 12 week mark, because I know about the risk for m/c. We both find ourselves wanting it blurt it out at anyone & everyone.

We are just thrilled, so I guess we'll see how long we can contain ourselves.

Whatever happens, I feel a lot better now. It really isn't about them right now.

Thanks again.

I am resolving to enjoy this time, and to ignore any negative energy.

[Ooey]

Originally Posted by bobandjess99

Hi! Congrats!!

I agree your attitude will have a big impact....
Personally, and I know opinions on this vary, I am a HUGE advocate of the "wait until 12 weeks to tell people" rule.
The pregnancy is progressing well, your m/c rate goes way down, you have time to feel special all by yourself and really get used to everything, and it let's people know you are serious about completing the pregnancy and aren't looking for..umm..suggestions on what to do..etc.

best wishes!

And you have less time left in the pregnancy for them to bother you!


I was 18 when I got PG, 19 when I had my daughter, and now I'm 20 and (probably) pregnant again. I'm a little scared of telling my family but I know they will be supportive and excited after the initial shock. I did it over the phone last time and that's how I'll do it agian. We were married so that made it a little easier for some reason, not sure if they would have been happy with it at all if we wern't, but that's just how my family is.

[bobandjess99]

Originally Posted by Ooey

And you have less time left in the pregnancy for them to bother you!


.

LOL!
I was going to say that, but I was trying to keep my post more positive, LOL!!!

And i understand....I'm only 7 weeks, but dying to tell people....and considering how freaking sick i am yet again....chances are everything is going well, my midwife says with m/s like mine, chances of m/c are very low..(although of course there are never any guarantees)....so we'll see how long i can hold out!