Hello everyone!
So, I never got my vbac...After being admitted to the hospital after going into labor on my own one day past my EDD, I dialated to 5 after an hour, but my labor stalled and would not progress. (I tried everything, I swear!) My doctor threatend me with pit (I agreed to doing pit) but then said I "must" have an epi, and I "must" have IFM. I finally broke and said "just do the section". Afterall why put my baby through pit and IFM when she could just meet me now? After a long section, she was born. My little girl was born 8lbs 1 ounce, a big difference from my 27 weeker! But ironically as it is, my little girl was put directly into the NICU.
How is it possible that I could have a baby sooo frail and tiny, and one big full term baby, and both needing NICU??? Seriously, what are the odds? It's so heartbreaking for this to happen again, for two totally different reasons. I am NEVER getting pregnant again, not because I don't love having babies, but because I can't see myself going through this again.
"Scarlette Belle" has been diagnosed with contaneous melanosis (sp?) which is births marks
and moles all over her body (one on her skull covering it more than 50%)
that were once thought to be connected to nervous tissue. After lots of CT scans and an MRI, she's clear. But unfortunately she had an apnea episode which meant the earliest she could come home was Tuesday. And after fighting with the neonatologist...we walked out of that horrible place for the last time at 11:30 am on the 15th. The day my first daughter was born one year ago.
These birthmarks however are so severe that a plastic surgeon was consulted, saying we needed to start removing these at 10 weeks of age. (Not on my life!) We went to our Family doc and he is getting us a consultation with a pediatric plastic surgeon at U of M. But they still aren't cutting my baby so young no matter what! What's funny though is, we were all told by doctors at the NICU that these could turn into cancer, ect, HOWEVER the plastic surgeon faxed over paperwork on Scarlette, and his consultation stated that it was to be an ELECTIVE surgery. Bull Pucky.
Breastfeeding is something else. I never got a chance to with
my preemie. I can't believe how hard it is, and how worthwhile it makes
you feel. Scarlette hasn't once had a bottle, and only once had a paci
because DH forgot the sign for the bassonet. The trip from my room on level 3 to babys bedside on 5 was a little hard after a c/s to feed on demand, but I am so greatful I was able to do so. If I
can't grow babies very well, I'm out to make it my priority to be able
to grow em on the outside! I am taking reglan right now and using an
SNS to get Scarlette some food (even if it is formula) as I am not producing hardly a thing, just a few ML's when I pump. (which is in between when baby eats on demand) Any suggestions to get my milk supply in and going well? The good thing is she sure has a good latch! And does it help that I am leeking through my shirt? But why can't I pump only few ML's? I am happy though to know she is nursing, even though she isn't getting much from me, we still are gaining that special bond.
And yet while I am so miserable right now because I feel like I can't
ever have a perfectly healthy baby so many women (very mainstream women at that) I see get to hold after birth and leave to go home with after being discharged, I feel even more terrible because while we were in NICU, three babies in Scarlettes room passed away. You
know I just don't understand how this can happen to so many babies and
the parents did everything right, with nothing that you'd think would
make an early baby. Life just isn't fair...So if you could spare a few
prayers for the babies and their families in the green room at Sparrow
tonight, I'm sure it would all be appreciated.
Thanks mamas for letting me vent, and if you have any help for me on
breastfeeding (or actually, inducing lactation) please don't hesitate to post!
With love,
Beth
So, I never got my vbac...After being admitted to the hospital after going into labor on my own one day past my EDD, I dialated to 5 after an hour, but my labor stalled and would not progress. (I tried everything, I swear!) My doctor threatend me with pit (I agreed to doing pit) but then said I "must" have an epi, and I "must" have IFM. I finally broke and said "just do the section". Afterall why put my baby through pit and IFM when she could just meet me now? After a long section, she was born. My little girl was born 8lbs 1 ounce, a big difference from my 27 weeker! But ironically as it is, my little girl was put directly into the NICU.
How is it possible that I could have a baby sooo frail and tiny, and one big full term baby, and both needing NICU??? Seriously, what are the odds? It's so heartbreaking for this to happen again, for two totally different reasons. I am NEVER getting pregnant again, not because I don't love having babies, but because I can't see myself going through this again."Scarlette Belle" has been diagnosed with contaneous melanosis (sp?) which is births marks
and moles all over her body (one on her skull covering it more than 50%)
that were once thought to be connected to nervous tissue. After lots of CT scans and an MRI, she's clear. But unfortunately she had an apnea episode which meant the earliest she could come home was Tuesday. And after fighting with the neonatologist...we walked out of that horrible place for the last time at 11:30 am on the 15th. The day my first daughter was born one year ago.
These birthmarks however are so severe that a plastic surgeon was consulted, saying we needed to start removing these at 10 weeks of age. (Not on my life!) We went to our Family doc and he is getting us a consultation with a pediatric plastic surgeon at U of M. But they still aren't cutting my baby so young no matter what! What's funny though is, we were all told by doctors at the NICU that these could turn into cancer, ect, HOWEVER the plastic surgeon faxed over paperwork on Scarlette, and his consultation stated that it was to be an ELECTIVE surgery. Bull Pucky.
Breastfeeding is something else. I never got a chance to with
my preemie. I can't believe how hard it is, and how worthwhile it makes
you feel. Scarlette hasn't once had a bottle, and only once had a paci
because DH forgot the sign for the bassonet. The trip from my room on level 3 to babys bedside on 5 was a little hard after a c/s to feed on demand, but I am so greatful I was able to do so. If I
can't grow babies very well, I'm out to make it my priority to be able
to grow em on the outside! I am taking reglan right now and using an
SNS to get Scarlette some food (even if it is formula) as I am not producing hardly a thing, just a few ML's when I pump. (which is in between when baby eats on demand) Any suggestions to get my milk supply in and going well? The good thing is she sure has a good latch! And does it help that I am leeking through my shirt? But why can't I pump only few ML's? I am happy though to know she is nursing, even though she isn't getting much from me, we still are gaining that special bond.
And yet while I am so miserable right now because I feel like I can't
ever have a perfectly healthy baby so many women (very mainstream women at that) I see get to hold after birth and leave to go home with after being discharged, I feel even more terrible because while we were in NICU, three babies in Scarlettes room passed away. You
know I just don't understand how this can happen to so many babies and
the parents did everything right, with nothing that you'd think would
make an early baby. Life just isn't fair...So if you could spare a few
prayers for the babies and their families in the green room at Sparrow
tonight, I'm sure it would all be appreciated.
Thanks mamas for letting me vent, and if you have any help for me on
breastfeeding (or actually, inducing lactation) please don't hesitate to post!
With love,
Beth
Sorry you were not ablt ot have the birth you wanted..I have been there. Not from you DDC but wanted to tell you that pumping is never an indication of supply! I have never been able to pump a drop and DS never had anything but the boob! If that is the only indication you have that your supple may not be up to snuff you might be wrong!! Leaking through your shirt seems a pretty good sign to me that things in the lactating department are AOK!
If you are leaking you have milk and plenty for that beautiful baby.You probably don't even need the SNS unless DD has some problems latching or so they can get some meds in? You are doing great trying to be around as much as possible while you are still healing.Get as much rest as you can,skin to skin contact, otameal(I like oatmeal cookies) helps boost supply if you are wanting some extra to leave for the NICU.Ask about donated milk too, they might have a program to tide her over until you got back to nurse her.LLL leaders are also really helpful and they are free you might have to go to them though.
