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Need to vent

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
I am so frustrated right now I could punch a hole in a wall.

STBX and I are splitting, largely because of his affairs, and the fact that he's decided he's "in love" with his most recent affair (who has a husband and three small kids of her own). Right now he is still in the same house with us, because we need to save money. I'm moving with my own kids to Oklahoma at the end of June.

He sends me an email this morning that he's going to be gone overnight on Saturday -- with the girlfriend. I felt like throwing up, or blowing up at him, but instead I just calmly talked to him on IM about it and said, look. The kids and I are going to be gone 2,000 miles away from here in 6 weeks, and you'll be free to have all the overnights you want with whomever you want. Why do you have to rub my face in it? Why can't you just spend this time helping me with this move, and being with your kids?

It is just beyond me how this man who used to be so kind and sensitive has evolved into this cruel, selfish person who has no regard for anyone but himself, who just wants to rub the salt in my wounds over and over while saying, "Gee, sorry, I know this hurts, but I'm gonna do it anyhow."

Asshole.
post #2 of 7

I'm so sorry mama. I don't really even know what to do other than send you hugs and suggest you get yourself a margerita or two this weekend.

Namaste,

Michelle
post #3 of 7
it hurts and it sucks
post #4 of 7
He's obviously trying to hurt you.

That sucks.

Be strong. You are a better woman than this and deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

Do something really nice for yourself this weekend.
post #5 of 7
I'm so sorry he needed to tell you that. There are so many other ways he could have worded that. I know exactly how you're feeling right now and it's totally justifiable.
post #6 of 7
Thread Starter 
The pressure of all of it -- dealing with the logistics of moving four kids 2,000 miles by myself, supporting them, trying to hold my own shit together -- with that final straw of his overnight date with The Affair on top of it -- finally got to me this afternoon and I had to call my MIL to come home. I just couldn't stop crying, my kids were scared, I was paralyzed. My MIL called to yell at STBX about the deal with his girlfriend, told him, "Couldn't you and X wait four f*cking weeks until your wife and kids are moved?"

So then he calls ME and leaves me two very verbally and emotionally abusive voice mail messages, screaming at me "What the f*ck is the matter with you?!" and accusing me of being manipulative and co-dependent and etc. No acknowledgement at all that perhaps his behavior contributes to my emotional state at the moment.

My MIL called him back and kicked him out of my house until after the move. Bless her heart. She's watching the kids now, I am going to my brother's for a bit to chill and eat some thai food. Have I mentioned I HATE THIS!!!!!

But I'll get through it.
post #7 of 7
Your soon-to-be ex is a piece of work. I'm glad you'll be able to be far away from him...as long as it's a positive move for you, at least you're able to move! (Some exes wouldn't "let" you move or agree to it legally.) Another positive is that your mother-in-law sounds amazing. I'm glad he's out of the house now. Nobody needs that.

I hope your kids are doing okay with all this!
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