Originally Posted by Azuralea
You know, it's interesting, I realized during the course of this discussion and others over the past few days that the smug "I want to raise my children myself" or "I want to instill my values into our kids," which, when said to a WOHM, is nearly always intended as a nasty dig, doesn't really bother me any more. It used to really bother me, but I've realized that I basically don't react any more.
I guess because it seems so absurd on its face. I've done both (SAH and WOH) and there is really no difference in terms of how I felt as far as "instilling values" or "raising my own child."
I think if anything I feel sorry for people who are so unsure of their influence and role in their kids' lives.
: You really summed up my feelings.
To answer the original question, I ended up not working during my pregnancy and for almost dd's first year. That came at a huge cost to our finances, I went back to work pt and now that dd is getting ready to turn 2 soon, I will be easing into ft work. Though I am glad I had that time to be with dd 100% of the time.
At present we could not afford for me not to work, my dh is a freelance writer/editor and my permanant salary helps out during his lean periods which we are currently dealing with, he lost some clients and his income dropped by 40%. Well my salary just about fills that gap, in fact I recently read the Feminine Mistake and totally related to it.
Earlier in this thread someone mentioned that every Mom could stay home if they made sacrifices. To be honest I see that sentiment alot on this board and maybe its true for some families but I suspect there are a lot of folks here struggling to survive because being a SAHM is seen as paramount to being the best AP Mom you can be. Yet I know for me when I was buying into that thought it was horrible from a financial perspective.
Oddly enough I spent more money on junk when I was a SAHM because I needed to get out of the house so I'd have coffee out or grab a lunch out, etc. However as a WOHM I bring my lunch daily, I am no longer doing a daily mocha at Starbucks and where are these shopping sprees?
I also know that finances aside that I am a much better parent when I go to work, my personality does not do well being at home. I also know that my dd is thriving in daycare and neither I nor the daycare folks beleive for a moment that they are raising her, that's me and dh's job.