1. Exciting career, don't want to jeopardize re-entry into field.
2. I think it will be easier to negotiate a flexible schedule (I want to be home when DS gets out of school when the time comes) than find part-time work to accomodate me down the road
3. I also have to factor retirement savings into the account, also SAHMing would put an end to college saving and probably our personal savings as well.
4. We would be stuck in our 2BR condo for longer than planned
5. DS loves his DCP and I think he would miss playing with the other kids, he's pretty extroverted and DH and I are not.
6. DS has just never had a problem with DC, there are other kids there who seem to have a harder time with it--if he cried EVERY TIME I left, as this one boy did for 2+ years, I would want to stay home. But DS NEVER has.
7. DH is actually pretty down on people who "don't work". I know this is pretty ignorant to a large extent, it's probably akin to his views on BFing before we had kids (he used to think it was gross and should be hidden, he changed his mind in one day when DS was born).
8. I am afraid I would go nuts. I am not always patient and I worry I would lose my patience more easily with DS if I didn't get breaks from him. I'm not proud of that.
9. I like being financially independent. Though we merge our finances, I know the money is mine and I feel I can spend it without asking DH about every little thing. I would not like our relationship dynamic to change.
10. I also wouldn't like our dynamic to change at home, DH is very hands-on both around the house and with DS, he cooks, he cleans, he changes dipes, we totally split responsibilities. I would not like to become the person solely responsible for household chores (or maybe I would?).
as a feminist i hate that the reentry thing is such a big barrier, but i agree with the pps that it can be. i spent a lot of energy and $ building up my career (my law school loans were the most regrettable part of that spreadsheet) and to be locked out of meaningful work over the long-term would be bad for my mental health and happiness and ultimately my mothering. i need it as a source of self-esteem... Sort of like your point #8.
our biggest problem was your point #7, combined with DH's ideals of gender equity. he worries about unequal bonding if one parent stays home all the time and one works ft -- he wants us both to work pt after baby's first 6 months (plus rely on daycare). that is my feminist hero DH. The dark underbelly of it is that when I was out of work for a few months, DH kind of freaked about being the sole income for a baby on the way (like what if something went wrong with his job), and i felt like he respected me less, and he felt like i no longer cared about the world of "high politics" and ideas and his work and things that weren't related to parenting. our money on some level felt like "his money" to him (although he admitted this only once in a moment of anger). his feelings came as a huge shock to me -- it's not what he believes in in theory, but when push came to shove i felt like i was justifying my (very modest) extraneous expenditures, which made me feel dependent in a way I did not like at all. which goes to your point #9.
gotta go to bed, more later.