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starting to panic and feel scared again, crap crap crap

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
i have been reading birth stories and watching videos and generally scaring the living #$^&* out of myself.

i read my hypnobirthing book and try to remind myself that i have to trust my body, etc etc but it just doesnt ring true for me anymore.

all of you that have done it......i dont know, if you have any words for those of us who have not? how it really is gonna be ok?

Would be so much appreciated.

i feel like i cant go through with this after all. i dont know. i am panicking a little.

sorry. deb.

ps i did read "flying spaghetti mama's" birth story on MDC in the birth story section, its the only thing i read that actually made me smile and feel a little better i bookmarked it
post #2 of 16
Well, I am going to be honest: birth is hard work. It's intense, uncomfortable and powerful. It may even be the hardest thing you ever do...but the important thing is you CAN do it.
Mor elater
post #3 of 16
Real quick but--- it is hard work and it will be painful (for some it is the most painful thing they have ever experienced for others it wasn't as bad as some pains they have felt) but THERE IS AN END!: You will be able to do it.Unlike this endless waiting we are going through at least you know you will not be in labor forever, that baby will be coming out of youfinally once those contractions start for real.
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
post #5 of 16
I have to say, that it *IS* tough, going through labor... but it *IS* do-able. For thousands of years women have been doing this, so there's no reason you can't do it, too! I found that it really helped my labor go easier (and faster) if I could focus on relaxation. I know, I know, everyone says that... but apparently if you go in scared your adrenaline can actually close down the bottom part of your uterus, while the top part of your uterus keeps contracting and that can cause A LOT of unnecessary pain, so do yourself a favor and go in w/out fear... not as easy as it sounds, I know, but it really is worth while!

BTW... I was induced with pitocin (from nothing) and still managed to go through my entire labor without any pain meds... Just expect the contractions to feel like it is the worst case of gas + period cramps you've ever had. Not comfortable, but not the same kind of pain as when you stub your toe or have part of your body smashed or something. And it's not constant pain for the whole time, it goes away when each contraction goes away, so the amount of time that you're *actually* in PAIN is much shorter than the amount of time you're in labor. It really helped me to remind myself with each really bad (transition) contraction that it was only for a minute and then it would go away. "It's just for a minute, it's only for a minute" was my mantra during contractions. It makes it a lot easier to deal with when you know there's a definite end... and you can stand pretty much ANYTHING for only a minute....
post #6 of 16
Contractions hurt less than a needle for an IV....

Find some positive birth stories to read to reduce your fears, there are lots out there... maybe someone can point you towards some good ones?

As for being home with a new babe, I have to say that I was a bit scared of how things would be different etc but by the second day it was like she'd been here all along! It was a really strange realization to see how she just FIT with us.
post #7 of 16
we've talked about this before. we're in the same boat of panic and fear. this is my 4th birth and the first time I have EVER felt like this.

what helps me, remind myself that when it is time you wont really freak out. you will be ok. It isn't going to last forever and its only one day. you can and you will do this. You will look back and think "what was I so scared of, it wasn't so bad"
and were all here to hold your hand. you got this momma
post #8 of 16
I have so far had 3 hb's waiting for the 4th here.

Anyway the worst pain I have ever experienced was a thumb nail the got ripped off, the second worse was from a dentist drilling a tooth with no pain meds. Birth even including the ring of fire was much less painful besides you get a baby in the end. You dont get any goodies after a ripped nail or a drilled tooth.

I suggest a bath, or a heat pad on your tummy during labor. The heat so helps. Of course IMO
post #9 of 16
oh mama, you can do it!! you really really can and you will.

i think i read this in spiritual midwifery and it really helped me during my daughter's birth. in the most painful parts, i kept telling myself and my husband kept telling me, that the pain is just a temporary physical sensation that is necessary to bring my baby to me. the pain is just in the moment. it doesn't mean anything is wrong, it means your baby is coming out. once it has done it's job your baby will be here and the pain will be gone.

you can do it mama!
post #10 of 16
You know, for me I try not to think of it as pain. Pain is something that is scary. I try to think of it as a really intense power sensation roaring through my body. And the fact that my very own body is creating this power helps remind me that labor and birth is amazing. And my body is amazing. And I am amazing and I can get through this. And in the end, I'll be holding this precious gift in my arms.

And the best part...your body produces all these hormones and endorphins so that even moments after you've given birth, you've pretty much forgotten how intense it really was.
post #11 of 16
ditto what everyone else said, its pain with a purpose. ANd besides if it was REALLY that bad do you think all of us would be lining up to do it all over again? Just remember that it's temporary and even if you have a long labor at the end of the day you get a great reward!
post #12 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eaglevoice View Post
You know, for me I try not to think of it as pain. Pain is something that is scary. I try to think of it as a really intense power sensation roaring through my body. And the fact that my very own body is creating this power helps remind me that labor and birth is amazing. And my body is amazing. And I am amazing and I can get through this. And in the end, I'll be holding this precious gift in my arms.

And the best part...your body produces all these hormones and endorphins so that even moments after you've given birth, you've pretty much forgotten how intense it really was.
: 100%
post #13 of 16
labor is an altered state. you are completely in a zone and it is more like you're along for the ride. so you will do it because your body will do it for you

i'm a complete wimp for pain. like horrible. i pass out from needles. i never thought i'd survive childbirth. i birthed at a hospital and i never thought i'd even survive getting the heplock put in! but i didn't even faint or get dizzy because i was in labor and there is so much focus which is NOT on things that aren't important. your focus is on your inner self.

you know i am honestly 'fearful' of labor starting because i do remember how intense and painful it was. but i am also excited and CAN"T WAIT! because the pain is temporary. it is just a finite period of time that you have to get through to get to an amazing end result.

you'll be fine and you will do it! and you'll be amazed at yourself. my husband was sooooo amazed at me last time. i think it was a life changing experience for him. he never thought i could handle something like that (i am a serious wimp..no joke). and here we go again!
post #14 of 16


When I was feeling panicked like this about my first birth, it helped me to "get tough" on myself mentally and realize that one way or another, this baby WAS coming out into the world! I could either relax and trust in my body to do what bazillions of human being bodies have done for centuries, or freak out, sabotage myself mentally/emotionally, and increase my chances of ending up with complications

and fwiw it doesn't really change much--this is my 3rd birth and I'm still freakin' out like usual!!
post #15 of 16
Stop reading/watching stuff that's scary...don't listen to scary stories. I think that helps, for starters. Focus on the positive birth stories. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is good for that.

I too had an unmedicated pit labor...just take it one contraction at a time, think positive, know that you can do it, and that soon your precious baby will be here with you!

Good luck & ((hugs))
post #16 of 16
Thread Starter 
i love you guys for all of these responses, they mean so much to me!


thanks.
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