Asked not to dress DD in overalls...

[RomanGoddess]

She is 33 months and attends a Montessori nursery. I like for her to wear overalls because they are super comfy and pants tend to fall under her belly (she still has the toddler belly) and then be practically falling off her.

Yesterday, her educatrice asked me not to dress DD in overalls because she cannot pull them down and up by herself when she goes to the bathroom and she is therefore less autonomous in them. She said that elastic waist pants were best for giving a child this age the most autonomy.

I understand the idea but it is too bad in a way because really, I think that DD is more comfortable and works better in overalls.

[Kirsten]

I think the request for no overalls is reasonable. Especially given that you have her in a Montessori school - isn't one of their main points for the child to do things for herself? Getting overalls on and off is a pain, and trying to hold them up while going to the bathroom - without getting a strap in the toilet - well, it is hard for kids much older than 33 months I'd say.

How about leggings? Gymboree leggings are great; all three of my girls wore them for years.

[Drummer's Wife]

I agree with Kirsten, I would send her in easy to pull-up and down two piece outfits.

when I worked with toddlers (younger than your DD) It was really frustrating when a parent would send them in overalls or other non-toilet learning friendly clothing. We would often change the child into spare clothes so that they could go to the bathroom on thier own and then change them back before the parent came.

[Ruthla]

How about putting DD in dresses instead? They can't fall off!

I never bought overalls for any of my kids when they were past the "definitely in diapers" stage. I kept DS in elastic waisted pants, and I kept the girls in a combination of dresses and elastic waisted pants with cute tops. Leggings with swing tops were very practical and comfy for my super-skinny DD1.

[carmel23]

Caroline, I would send her in pants that are easy for her to put on and off.

My heart sinks when I look at your blog! I lived in Italy: for a year and am trying to find a way for my family to return. I miss it so very much!
I can actually feel my heart in my mouth now.

[runes]

a big old 'yeah that' to ruthla's suggestion for putting your dd in either a dress or a longer tunic style tshirt with leggings.

[lalaland42]

ITA with the no overalls thing. What we did here before DD realized she was a tomboy at the ripe old age of 22 months was a Gymboree style dress (loose and flowing) with leggings underneath. Now we do t-shirts and leggings.

[heket]

Let me preface this with, (1) I'm still learning about Montessori. (2) Honestly, I don't mean to offend.

There's just something about this that doesn't sit right with me. I understand that Montessori facilitates children into learning and doing for themselves. But these are overalls. Heck, my dd can't button pants that come with a metal snap (she currently 3.5 yo.) While she does have leggings and shorts with elastic waistbands, I'm just not connecting how a pair of overalls disrupts a child's learning. She has some favorite pants that she likes to wear that happen to have button snaps and zippers. While she can do the zippers, the snaps are still too tough for her. Why should she be denied wearing something that she likes?

Plus, if the OP states that she thinks her dd is comfy in her overalls, why should that child have to change her wardrobe?

We might be considering Montessori in the fall, so a topic like this is really interesting to me. I hope you don't mind my naivety on the subject (and like I said, I'd still learning and researching Montessori.) Perhaps I merely have more to learn.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by heket

Let me preface this with, (1) I'm still learning about Montessori. (2) Honestly, I don't mean to offend.

There's just something about this that doesn't sit right with me. I understand that Montessori facilitates children into learning and doing for themselves. But these are overalls. Heck, my dd can't button pants that come with a metal snap (she currently 3.5 yo.) While she does have leggings and shorts with elastic waistbands, I'm just not connecting how a pair of overalls disrupts a child's learning. She has some favorite pants that she likes to wear that happen to have button snaps and zippers. While she can do the zippers, the snaps are still too tough for her. Why should she be denied wearing something that she likes?

Plus, if the OP states that she thinks her dd is comfy in her overalls, why should that child have to change her wardrobe?

We might be considering Montessori in the fall, so a topic like this is really interesting to me. I hope you don't mind my naivety on the subject (and like I said, I'd still learning and researching Montessori.) Perhaps I merely have more to learn.

Potty learning often includes urgency on the FRONT end. It's even more important that a child can get OUT of the clothes easily than in them.

But yeah, if I had a potty learning child (OH that mine was interested in learning ) then I wouldn't do zippers and snaps either until they could do them.

-Angela

[Hatteras Gal]

What about overall jumpers? She'd still be in overalls but in a dress at the same time.

[TigerTail]

if you like overalls on your kids, nothing stops you from putting them on them when it's your turn to potty them, but it's unfair to expect teachers to have to deal with it on however many kids a day. it is easier for them to learn with elastic waistbands. hell, i have trouble getting my overalls off and on to pee, let alone a little kid. why make life harder?

[RubyWild]

Originally Posted by heket

Plus, if the OP states that she thinks her dd is comfy in her overalls, why should that child have to change her wardrobe?

I have a feeling that if the child can negotiate the overalls in the bathroom independently, then overalls would be allowed. If the child needs help, then she's wearing the wrong clothes for a Montessori school.

[hanno]

I'm sorry if I'm not being proper, but if you're paying anything remotely what this site shows http://www.montessori.edu/FAQ.html#QUESTIONS, then undoing overalls shouldn't be too much to ask if that's what your kid likes. That's more than my rent! What are they expected to wear in the winter, as snowsuits take forever to get bundled in, or do they not go outside?

[alegna]

Originally Posted by hanno

I'm sorry if I'm not being proper, but if you're paying anything remotely what this site shows http://www.montessori.edu/FAQ.html#QUESTIONS, then undoing overalls shouldn't be too much to ask if that's what your kid likes. That's more than my rent! What are they expected to wear in the winter, as snowsuits take forever to get bundled in, or do they not go outside?

Most montessori schools around here are more than that. And they take time to dress and undress for weather. But part of the whole idea of montessori is the child being in charge of themselves. If an adult has to assist every time they go potty that is not independence.

-Angela

[RubyWild]

Originally Posted by hanno

I'm sorry if I'm not being proper, but if you're paying anything remotely what this site shows http://www.montessori.edu/FAQ.html#QUESTIONS, then undoing overalls shouldn't be too much to ask if that's what your kid likes. That's more than my rent! What are they expected to wear in the winter, as snowsuits take forever to get bundled in, or do they not go outside?

I pay more than twice that amount per year, and part of what I'm paying for is for my dd to be in a classroom environment where the children are encouraged to be self-sufficient.

Edited to add: The children are expected to change from their street shoes into soft shoes whenever they enter the building and to change into boots whenever they go out to play. They put their own coats on and zip them themselves. If they have trouble with it, they go to an older child for help. Within a few weeks, even that is unnecessary.

[mehndi mama]

From what I've observed in the Primary & IC classrooms at my DD's school, you do definitely want to make sure that their school clothes are potty-friendly. The toddlers in the IC hang out in t-shirts and underpants most of the day! :
I like to dress my 30mo ds in one-piece suits because they're comfy, stay on well, and don't ride up when putting him on my back. But once he starts to toilet train and/or go to school, we'll have to abandon them. *I* don't have the time to rush him into the bathroom and out of his clothes myself every time, even being at home with only 2-4 kids. I can't imagine why someone would think that that should be the job of a teacher in charge of 10-30 children, regardless of the amount of tuition paid.

Smocks make good potty clothes - they're long enough to cover like a dress, but look awesome with a pair of comfy elastic-waist pants, too.

[kaydee]

Originally Posted by RubyWild

I have a feeling that if the child can negotiate the overalls in the bathroom independently, then overalls would be allowed. If the child needs help, then she's wearing the wrong clothes for a Montessori school.

I agree with this. It's an issue of practicality, and of helping children do things themselves. Once they can dress and undress the overalls themselves, I am pretty sure they will be welcome to wear them.

I don't personally see anything sinister/controlling in this request, and it would not be a battle I would fight.


ETA: Part of the reason we chose M was so that our d would be in a place that helped foster his abilities (such as toileting). Why would I then undercut that value by putting him in clothes that are difficult for him to manage?

[RomanGoddess]

My goodness, I just checked back in today and so many responses! Thanks all. I talked to the educatrice again on Friday, to clarify (my Italian is still a little rusty), and she said that the problem with the overalls is that DD does not yet have the coordination to undo them and put them back on again herself when she goes to the toilet (actually, I think it is the putting them back on part that is especially difficult) and she would therefore prefer that DD wear pants, elastic waist with no button or zipper if possible, to allow the greatest possible autonomy. Dresses are also fine.

I guess the request does not surprise me given that it is a Montessori nursery but it does limit her wardrobe options somewhat.

Originally Posted by carmel23

My heart sinks when I look at your blog! I lived in Italy: for a year and am trying to find a way for my family to return. I miss it so very much!
I can actually feel my heart in my mouth now.

Let me know if you make it to Rome and we'll get together. I still kind of miss Paris (where we used to live) but Rome is good, too. Actually, I might send you a PM and with questions regarding the transit system here.

[arahzel]

DD's school does this, too. She's only 20 months, but when they start potty training, we are asked not to send her in anything that snaps at the crotch or is difficult to get in/out of.
Good luck!

[wrzos]

Completely reasonable, unless your child is perfectly capable of using the toilet when wearing overalls with no assistance. At our school, it is a policy that the child be dressed in clothing that facilitates independent toilet use. They don't specifically address overalls, but that is the concept.