Need opinions - Page 2

[GinaRae]

I've been supportive but worried for you as you've been talking about moving cross country. Speaking from experience in moving to be close to hubby's family, it comes with a ton of stress and unplanned things pop up. It's not always dreamy, and though I love where I live now, the family situation really stinks. I have NO help instead of the tons we were hoping for.

I would stay put and move locally. And it sounds like on base isn't very good either!!

Sounds like you have some work ahead. SO sorry you're having to go through this. You don't need it! HUGS, Mama.

[Kontessa]

I did my budget and even if my little sister and her love did not pay their part of the rent we would be ok as I could cover it. Thats one less worry for me incase I do move.

My issue right now is that I hinted to Mom that maybe I should stay here local and she was really upset. Just talking on the phone to them all has been really stressful and I can not see that changing. But this is not all about me right? My daughter wants to go and be close to family. Most all of them want us close, and my Meme is 90 and family is moving her out of her house this winter and in with them as she is getting to the point where she can not live alone. I wanted to help her with this very hard change as I know she will be fighting it. Not to mention I miss her very much....

But I could visit this summer.... But after telling them I am moving there and them looking for a house and all the stress would they even want to then see me if I choose to move here and not there?

Am I being selfish? They NEED me! -sigh- It would only be a year....

Blessings,
Kimmy

[mittendrin]

If they wouldn't wanna see for just a vacation because you're choosing the healthier emotional situation for your family then you'd just have proof that you made the right choice.
I know how easy it is to pt yourself on that guilttrip of not being there for your family. My mom has cancer and I wanted to drop everything and move halfway across the world to be with her. Fact is though, that there are more things to consider, as your health and your finances. I made the choice of staying here til things settle down in my life, til the baby is born and I can be of more help to my family over there. Yes, you could say that you have enough money to support your sis. Is she going to be able to support herself though, when your hubby comes back and you need your money and time for yourself and your kids? Because if not, then there's no point in it all, right? If you are going to be on bedrest how are you going to be there for your Meme?
In the end you are going to have to think things thru a few times and follow your gut. You can be rational, write things down and keep that sticky on your fridge for emotional situations when you are going to doubt your decision. Or you could follow your instincts, it comes down to what kind of a person you are and how rational or not you have handled previous big matters...?
All I can say is that once you have made a decision either way you are going to feel better just for the fact that you can focus on the next step now instead of having sleepness nights over the same old issue, kwim? Win the next battle. Good luck to you!

[scheelimama]

Kimmy, I just had a not so nice talk with my mom last night. Got a huge guilt trip about not moving there while Nathan is gone. I know it would not be emotionally healthy for me to move there and I don't wish to uproot my kids again (we've moved 4 times in the last 16 months). I completely understand how you are feeling. The guilt trips sucks, but you have to do what is best for you and your family (meaning you and your dd, not the extended family). They gave me a hundred reasons that I should move there, even told me they would come and help me move. I love my house and support system here though and have no reason to move home. They really don't get it at all. Oh well. They can pout. I know they want to be close to their grandkids, but I have to do what is best for us all. Anyway, I don't know if it helps for me to share that at all or not. It sounds like if you move there, you would be doing it for them and would be expected to give a lot of yourself. Can you do that? Do you have anything else to give emotionally? Just something to think about.

[crystalalene]

I am so sorry that you are worrying about this, especially now!
We moved away from our family on purpose because we knew that we needed to make our own way, and that they make us emotional (I guess that's the word) which leads to problems with our family. I've been working on making connections in our community and have found that many of the folks that are involved with LLL and other groups are in a similar situation--that's why they are there. We try to visit family as much as we can but keep our 'home' a little farther away for our sanity.
I don't know if this helps but I hope that you can make sense of your situation and that you will do what is best for you.
to you!

[Kontessa]

Moving!

Thanks to all the advice here I made the jump! I saw a house a stones through from where I am living now and I signed a lease! Paid rent for June even and got a key!

Called my mother after.... she is pissed off! Called brother and told him as I am saving money on the move I can give him money. He is at least not upset with me.

Called Step-Mother and father and they are happy for me and want to come visit this winter.

Have to yet to get ahold of hubby and tell him. LOL

But I have a house now.... might move in this weekend. At least that drama is over. Thank you for putting up with me and for all the opinions.

Blessings,
Kimmy

[scheelimama]

That sounds like an awesome choice Kimmy! I hope the move goes smoothly!!!

[wwisdomskr]

Congratulations, Kimmy! I'm so glad you found a house close to your friends. Good luck with the move. Make sure you take it eeeeaaasssyyy, Mama! Moving is hard, no matter how close it is...

[mittendrin]

Awesome! Good for you girl! Hope everything goes smoothly and you have plenty help w the move.

[moma justice]

yay!
see little miracles all over the place.

[Kontessa]

moma Justice, it must have been from someone elses faith and thinking as I could not manage it as of late. Thank you!