Hanging out at the birth?

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

I'm having a homebrith, and my best friend has recently expressed interest in driving down for my birth. Generally speaking, I'm pretty cool with this. I love my friend dearly, and she is a wonderful person. However, I'm somewhat concerned. My friend is rather easily squicked. We're both pretty open with each other, but she can't really handle the idea of pain (i have this great story from high school about her crying when the history teacher was describing medieval torture techniques). She also doesn't really want kids, but may change her mind.

She says she won't freak out around me, and if she does freak, she'll leave the room. But do you think it's a good idea for her to come and be supportive (more support the better, right?)? If so, how should I prepare her. I was thinking of sending her some good birth stories and some videos so she can have some idea of what to expect. What else should I do?

[moonbeem]

Let her take on the role of domestic helper - have her make meals or snacks, get drinks for you and dp. Maybe she could bake a cake, keep candles lit, or your choice of music playing. I would have liked someone to take photos or video. Basically in my birth plan I had about 4 pages of ideas for my support persons to employ to keep me comfy...turns out i had a super easy labor and birth was a breeze - i seriously loved every moment and none of it was needed....but i still think a friend willing to lend support and help is a most wonderful thing, if she says she'll be fine - i'd believe her.

she could be in charge of warming up towels..we had a waterbirth and hot towels would have been really nice.

[frogleymom]

My sister and I were at the birth of our youngest brother 10 years ago. That same sister is now married and thinking of having a baby sometime next year. She recently asked me if she could be there when this next baby is born, since our brother's birth was so long ago, and my mother had an epidural. She HATES pain, but also HATES needles, so she's really interested to see how the birth goes. Since this is my 3rd, I feel like I know a bit better what to expect from ME, and I think it would be a good experience for her. So, I've tentatively agreed to allow her in the room... as long as she brings her camera. I want pictures this time. She may not even be in town when the baby comes... she'll most likely be there if the baby decides to come during the holidays though, so I'm kind of hoping for a Christmas baby.

Emily

[g&a]

I dunno - if she is going to make the room tense and fearful I wouldn't invite her there. It's all about you, so if this really makes you uncomfortable, don't allow it. If you look deep down, you probably already know the answer.

I am not planning on having any of my family or DHs family there for the birth for just this reason.

g.

[Mama_Bear]

If you are feeling uncomfortable with it, you shouldn't do it. I know some people feel supported with loved ones around during birth. Me - I'm the exact opposite. I just wanted my husband and my midwife there. I *knew* they would be supportive and positive, which is exactly what I needed. I agree with g&a - if she might make the room tense or fearful, it may not be helpful at all. Go with your gut, mama.