Why do people read and not respond.....genuine question - Page 2

[katydid317]

[QUOTE=Flor;8168798]Well, often I read the title but when I actually see the whole story either 1. have no experience or 2. it has already been said so I don't feel I have anything useful to add.
QUOTE]

that's usually why I don't respond.
also, I am pretty new to the blended family, so mostly I read looking for advice and to see what issues other blended families have, because we haven't had much happen yet and I am just gearing up for the future, because I know there's no way this whole thing will always go so smoothly.

[cjanelles]

I read a LOT here on the MDC, but don't post responses all that often.

Most of the time, I choose not to respond because I don't have anything to contribute.

Other times, I begin to respond and then stop because I know how my brand of advice will be received and I don't feel like listening to people complain about my response or getting into a "battle" over why I feel my response was justified or whatever.

Other times, I am simply overcome by what I've read and I have no words.

This is typical in all of the message board forums I've ever frequented. I even own a message board and while I read almost everything, I don't always respond...Just the nature of the forums, I think.

[hellyaellen]

i usually hit new posts and titles are not alway indicative of the actually thread content. so i click thinking i can contribute and find that i can't. sometime my internal response has been posted enough by previous posters. sometimes i get confused when the thread veers off topic. i'm sure there are other reasons too...

[shelbean91]

Sometimes I don't have time- I want to think on an answer and come back to it so I can contribute something worthwhile.

Sometimes I can't tell from the title if there is something I can add. SOmetimes someone has already said what I need to say.

I've been having lots of posts not being replied to lately- it's frustrating, but I try to not take it personally. If I DO post somewhere that I *techincally* don't belong (like here or single parenting or queer parenting) I post a disclaimer somewhere that indicates I'm NOT part of the group and to take what I have to say with a grain of salt. I don't know the whole situation and don't want to insult anyone by seeming to simplify a problem.

[MillingNome]

I didn't read any responses but I'm guessing it's for a number of reasons.

~can't relate to situation
~someone already said what they wanted to and : gets old
~only clicked due to curiousity (ei, multiples board)
~no time to say what you want and you don't want to flub it up
~can't figure out what the poster is looking for in a response
~too long to read (pargraphs are a good thing )
~don't want to be snarky
~know the thread is heading for lockdown <in before lock- hee hee>
~don't care
~I'm using my phone to view mdc and it's a pia to do much more than just read

(omg- how did I get here. I was in tao and then ???? Sorry to crash your forum!)

[kymholly]

Originally Posted by iamthesmilingone

I didn't read any responses but I'm guessing it's for a number of reasons.

~can't relate to situation
~someone already said what they wanted to and : gets old
~only clicked due to curiousity (ei, multiples board)
~no time to say what you want and you don't want to flub it up
~can't figure out what the poster is looking for in a response
~too long to read (pargraphs are a good thing )
~don't want to be snarky
~know the thread is heading for lockdown <in before lock- hee hee>
~don't care
~I'm using my phone to view mdc and it's a pia to do much more than just read

(omg- how did I get here. I was in tao and then ???? Sorry to crash your forum!)

:

& as a pp said, wanting to avoid being flamed! If I suspect that my opinion isn't going to be well-received, I need to be pretty committed to it to post here. Not meaning yours in particular, but sometimes threads here can get ugly.:

[izandleo]

I agree with what everyone else has said and also add that I am wary of responding to certain threads just because of privacy reasons. I do not give out a lot of information on my family, and there are specific reasons for that. So, if it's one where I can be pretty general in my response, great! I wish I had a bit more freedom to blog more of my mind! But that will come in time. Another huge thing is time - I never have time to really post a thoughtful response like some of the mamas here are so talented at doing.

[ashleyhaugh]

well i dont really belong in this forum, but i like to read it. so i read, but dont answer because im not a step parent, so i would have nothing to contribute to the conversation

[JesseMomme]

Originally Posted by izandleo

I agree with what everyone else has said and also add that I am wary of responding to certain threads just because of privacy reasons. I do not give out a lot of information on my family, and there are specific reasons for that. So, if it's one where I can be pretty general in my response, great! I wish I had a bit more freedom to blog more of my mind! But that will come in time. Another huge thing is time - I never have time to really post a thoughtful response like some of the mamas here are so talented at doing.

Sorry for the OT, but my blog has a private feature where I can type whatever and only I can see it, so it's like getting to vent whatever in a handwritten journal (only I can type faster than I can write which is probably sad ) My blog also has a protected feature, only allowing people I trust to view the blog.

[momma of monkeys]

Sometimes I have nothing helpful to add...or there has been so much good advice that it's already been said....and sometimes I have nada nice to say, so I say nada at all j/k

[sparklefairy]

I usually click because I learn so much from many of the situations and responses.

I usually don't respond because I don't have anything helpful to add.

[MorganRiley]

sometimes the situation is more complicated than I know how to respond to

[polyhymnia]

Sometimes I see a thread from the "new posts" area with an interesting title and not realize what subforum it is from. When I see it, if I don't feel like I belong I won't post. Like right now - I saw this heading in new posts and clicked to come answer the question, but now I see it's in Blended/StepFamily parenting and I don't know if I should be answering or not...

[arlecchina]

I read far more than I ever respond to....sometimes I cannot relate, sometimes what I was going to say was already covered my another mama...sometimes I am curious about something someone is going thru that I have not yet and wish to read the advice and feelings of others just in case...

[DeChRi]

Much of the time I gravitate to the title of a thread because it is of equal concern to me. I read it to gather the advice that others have given the OP.

[sdm1024]

well....there are times when I just don't have a lot to add; or I'm nak and typing a response can be difficult, esp if said nursling is on the right side (I can do well when she's on the left )

There are a variety of reasons, none malevolent.

[Meg Murry.]

Originally Posted by kyangel80

I posted two threads last night, and while they have each had a share of views, they haven't really been answered in comparison?

So I'm wondering why? Not being sarcastic. Is it that the viewers of the thread just can't relate to the topic?

I suppose I'm now concerned that most people who read here might just be snooping, which I know goes on ALOT when custody situations are happening.

In my particular situation, it doesn't make a difference. I'm not saying anything here that I wouldn't want to be read in a court of law, but is that why I'm getting no responses? Because people are afraid?

Hoping someone replies to this.....

Well, for me, it sometimes depends on the type of thread. If I care a lot or I feel I have something to add that others haven't said, I'll usually reply. If not, I won't. There are some I look at sometimes, but almost never reply to, including the following:

Name threads = I no longer reply to these, after finding out that the phrase "give me your honest opinion" means, "Please make me feel better about my dreadfully mockworthy name choices."

"I got harassed for BFing in public threads" - I usually don't reply because basically, it's all the same thread only with different names and locations.

I also won't respond to posts that are SO ill-written, ill-punctuated, ill-capitalized, and il-literate that it's a struggle to determine their basic meaning.

Does that help??

[JBaxter]

There are sometimes I read something and the way I would want to respond would seem like flaming the person so I elect not to say anything. Other times I just dont have anything to add.

[kyangel80]

Just to come back and respond to this thread one more time since it's still getting responses........go figure?

I do have a general concept of why people don't answer every thread they come across. It just seems odd that a thread would get no answers whatsoever. Also, I see alot of threads that only get one or two responses in this particular forum.

Again, I feel the pain of poorly punctuated and ill-written post that fail to maintain clarity, but at the same time this is such an important forum b/c the issues of blended familys are so numerous and they really take a toll on families that are facing them. I think it would be fabulous if more people here tried to jump in more and help a OP out, yk?

There are only two other message boards I use. One is related to my profession and the other is related to babywearing. I suppose their are probably alot of message boards out there for these types of issues, but I doubt that any of them would hold to the same tone and parenting style as most members of MDC do.

[lynnloves2]

I often read if the topic catches my eye, but often times, I don't feel I have anything to say that hasn't already been said, or I have no opinion at all.

Jen