donor inseminations

[AliciaP8]

Hi! I've been reading a bit and preparing myself for another season of donor inseminations. I'm straight but using a donor due to me DHs chemo induced infertility. I hope it's OK to post here. There's not much out there for those if us interested in home inseimnation.

We did 6 intravaginal cycles at home last year with a donor from Repromed. We weren't sucessful so we're looking for a new donor this year. I can't find any I want to use at Repromed this year despite them having the best price.

I'm considering trying IUI at home this year but I'm not sure if I'm brave enough. I'd love to hear more from anyone who has done it.

[FtMPapa]

Woot for Canadians!

The trick with doing IUI at home is to find someone to teach you to do it. Have you contacted doctors and midwives who might be trained? I haven't had any luck finding someone to do it - I'm in Toronto.

You may find the Stephanie Brill's New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth (I think that's the title) to be useful, it has a lot of information on home inseminations - it's not just for lesbians, and that's explicitly stated, but even still, a lot of the touchy-feely stuff may not apply to you. I didn't bother to buy it, but the Toronto Public Library has it, your local library may too.

Good luck!

I'm using Repromed, I like the fact that they're so small, but it does limit the sperm donor options.

[AliciaP8]

I do have a Dr that allows me to take my sample home but she will only do/teach ICI or intravaginal for me to do at home.

We were very happy with Repromed last year (well except that I didn't get pregnant). They're so easy to work with and so friendly. Something about them ending each phone conversation with "good luck" made me smile too. I just wasn't able to find another donor we liked.

I hope CanAmCryo is going to be easy to work with as well. If not I keep telling myself it's only going to take one try this year

Are you currently doing inseminations now? Do you mind saying which donor? I used 3139 last year. I think he may be getting out of the program though.

I read the Essential Guide but not the New Essential Guide. I'm going to check my library. I'm in Halifax BTW.

[quantumleap]

If I were still in Hali, or back already, I would teach you how to do them. I also don't know anyone who is still in the area who would be able to help you. Bummer.
We're using Outreach (xytex), and they have a decent selection. Their on the phone staff are quite nice, but heaven help me if I ever meet their email person. I can barely restrain myself when responding to her sometimes - "Did you even *read* my email?!?!" is often what I would like to write to her. Grr.
Depending on how adventurous you are feeling, you can order an at home IUI kit from Outreach (so, probably also from other companies), and I could talk you through it. PM me if you'd like.
Is there a specific reason you don't just have your pcp/gyne/ob/whomever, do the IUI? We weren't interested in IUIs when we were in HRM, so I am not up on the legislation or the health care coverage - does coverage have anything to do with it? Are you just trying to keep the "medical" out of it?
Anyway, I should go back to lurking.
Best of luck.
Katia

[AliciaP8]

Well it seems like the general consensus in hfx is to send you to the ART clinic if you wish to go beyond ICI. We've done the initial visit at AART and I'm so not going back. They only do medicated IUIs and acted like I was insane for suggesting otherwise. They told me that charts are worthless and women can't understand them anyway and that ultrsound was the only way to get pregnant. They were really just insulting. I think the fact that we went in just to cover all of our bases and not wanting to get more technical didn't help. They seemed to think the previous "natural" inseminations were silly.

I hate those email responses that sound like they were pre written for everyone.

I'm PM'd you.

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by selkat

We're using Outreach (xytex), and they have a decent selection. Their on the phone staff are quite nice, but heaven help me if I ever meet their email person. I can barely restrain myself when responding to her sometimes - "Did you even *read* my email?!?!" is often what I would like to write to her. Grr.

Hey Katia - that's been exactly my experience with Outreach too! The e-mail person is barely literate, on a good day.

However, I've talked to people at the three banks (Xytech/Outreach, CanAm Cryo, Repromed) and they all seem really, really nice. Repro even sent me the long profiles on each of my three donors for free, instead of thirty bucks or whatever they want.

I hear that there is a fourth bank - Gamete Services, but I know nothing about them. I've never heard of them before someone mentioned them to me, just last week, and I've been looking into this stuff for two years.

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by AliciaP8

I do have a Dr that allows me to take my sample home but she will only do/teach ICI or intravaginal for me to do at home.

We were very happy with Repromed last year (well except that I didn't get pregnant). They're so easy to work with and so friendly. Something about them ending each phone conversation with "good luck" made me smile too. I just wasn't able to find another donor we liked.

I hope CanAmCryo is going to be easy to work with as well. If not I keep telling myself it's only going to take one try this year

Are you currently doing inseminations now? Do you mind saying which donor? I used 3139 last year. I think he may be getting out of the program though.

I read the Essential Guide but not the New Essential Guide. I'm going to check my library. I'm in Halifax BTW.

I am sitting this month out, and right now I'm on CD 28 of what I think will be a 31 day cycle, but I'm not entirely sure since I didn't chart anything this month, I took a month completely off while switching from at home inseminations to monitored (ultrasound and bloodwork) IUIs through a clinic. Of course, this month I had the most fertile CM I've ever had! Figures, eh?

Anyway, once the new cycle starts, any time this week, I'm starting up with monitoring, and I'll see how that goes. If it doesn't work this month, I think I can try twice more, depending on my cycle length, and then I'm moving on to other options. I set the three or maybe four tries limit to keep myself sane, and I'm moving to the US in August, so...we'll see.

I'm not sure which donor I'm using. Not the same one, he's not even on my list. I have a list of three or four, and I'm not too fussed about which one it is.

Good luck! I'm not really surprised that your doc won't teach you to do IUI at home - it's probably a liability issue. I'd be surprised if there wasn't information available online. Directions are not in The New Essential Guide... at least, not that I've seen, I've only skimmed sections of it.

[AliciaP8]

Good luck with the upcoming cycle. I'm just coming off 3 months off! It was hard at first because I've been temping for 3 years. I felt lost. NOw getting back in to it is hard! LOL

I'm also doing acupuncture now getting back to ideal fertility for my first cycle. It's amazing how hard my ovulation hit me after the first acupuncture. I assumed it would do nothing but I was wrong.

[rainbowmoon]

I hope no one minds me : here!

I am a single widowed mama of 2 ( 3yo DS and almost 22mo DD) my DH died almost 2 years ago. I thought for awhile I was done having babies, but now I know that is just not true after much thought and soul searching!

I am just really embarking on my journey to donor insemination. and am 98% sure I am going to do it! : I probably won't TTC for at least 2-3 years. But I am starting to plan and think about it more and more. (I am currently 32yo)

Anywho, I am just starting the process really of researching sperm banks, gathering info., planning & saving $,etc..

can you all reccomend some good sites, message boards, etc. (Thanks to the mama who PM'd me info from FTMPapa's other thread btw! )

also, how did you decide on your sperm bank and donor? cost,location,etc? (I'm in the SW USA) also how much does it cost per vial on average? (I am reading $200-$500 is that correct on average?) and how many to do you need a month? where can I find more comprehensive info on self insemination and choosing a donor? (I have one mama on a birth list I have belonged to for years who is very experienced and giving me pointers, but would like to know more from others self inseminating) I also have some books on Amazon I am going to try to order soon..I think I will get the one FTMpapa reccomended.

anyway just looking for advice and support!


btw is anyone single here trying to TTC? I am getting alot of flak over wanting to do this from various people, and am very dismayed. I know I will have to get "over" it eventually but it wasn't what I expected at all (thankfully most of my family is fully supportive!) my late DH mom is having a sort of hard time with it, though I think she will come around eventually!

sending much & to all those currently TTC!

[AliciaP8]

Hi Rainbowmoon!

I'm in Canada so the choices of banks is very limited. I know that with Repromed and shipping to where I live I was spending about $500 per cycle CAD. That's one insemination per cycle. This year I will use CA Cryo and my costs will be quite a bit higher but I'm not sure exactly how much.

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by AliciaP8

Hi Rainbowmoon!

I'm in Canada so the choices of banks is very limited. I know that with Repromed and shipping to where I live I was spending about $500 per cycle CAD. That's one insemination per cycle. This year I will use CA Cryo and my costs will be quite a bit higher but I'm not sure exactly how much.

CA Cryo isn't that much more, they're all within $100/vial or so of each other - Repromed is the cheapest, the other two are pretty comparable, and slightly more, unless you want identity release, which Can-Am offers, it's about $100 more per vial, IIRC.

I'm with ReproMed, and mine is $700 per cycle, two vials of standard, including a handling charge and shipping.

Huge rant ahead...

My fertility clinic presented me with an invoice for $1300 - I was pissed about that. All along, the clinic has been telling me that my only non-OHIP covered costs would be "$145 for sperm washing and IUI, twice per cycle" and "other than that, just the cost of the sperm." They didn't mention that they add nearly $600 in unexplained fees.

First off, I want an explanation, and second off, my extended health benefits plan will want an explanation as to why I'm ordering sperm one month at $700 and the next at $1300 for the same sperm.

Upon inquiry, I was told by the head of the clinic (a doctor) that there are tests that must be run on my vials, that they're mandated by law.

Then, someone from the billing department told me that my bank had increased the cost of the sperm.

Upon contacting the sperm bank directly, I found out that both of these things are false - as I believe they surely must be.

After some pressuring, my clinic dropped the extra $600, and is now charging me $150 per cycle for "processing and paperwork" which basically means sending a fax to order the sperm, dealing with the invoicing, checking to make sure that the right vials are received (i.e. the donor # on the vials, on the tank, on the invoice, and on the order form are all the same) and hanging onto the sperm until I use it.

Costs:
Old way: Sperm, $700 per cycle

New way: Sperm, $700, inseminations $300, bullshit handling fee $150 = 1150 per cycle.

Their way: Sperm $1300, inseminations $300 = $1600 per cycle

Moral of the story: Double check anything your clinic tells you if you're working with a fertility clinic. And if it doesn't sound right, check it again.

[rainbowmoon]

is there a way to find donors privatley and local? obviously you would need a lawyer involved, but it seems like it would be cheaper? or am I just dreaming?

FTMpapa- that is rediculous! : I am at how spendy it could get and how quickly! glad they took the one charge off for you though! btw does this mean you are in your 2ww now?!?!

btw what is "sperm washing"?

[rainbowmoon]

also, what exactly are the tests mandated by law? that is creepy.

[FtMPapa]

There are ways to find known donors privately - I played that game for a while, but soon decided it wasn't for me. My legal situation is fairly complex as is, as I am legally male and will be listed legally as my child's father, with mother being N/A.

I looked at the costs involved, and decided that it was probably cheaper to go with anonymous sperm from a bank, provided I get pregnant within two or three cycles.

I didn't decide only based on cost, though it bears mentioning that if things go south with your donor, all bets are off and the legal fees can be astronomical, not to mention that you could be pushed into a legally-mandated custody arrangement that is not of your choosing.

As for the legally mandated tests, I found out that the sperm from the bank is, in fact, ready to use, and has already been tested. The doctor at the clinic (he's the head of the clinic, not my doctor, I see someone else) was lying to me and was basically skimming off the top. I'm sure not for his own pocket, but into the general clinic coffers. I'm still considering the possibility of filing a complaint, once I'm no longer under their care.

I am not in the 2ww - I'm in the cycle monitoring phase, which means ultrasounds and bloodwork every two or three days, and I'll be inseminating next week.

Sperm washing means removing the sperm from the semen, and generally preparing it for intrauterine insemination. If certain proteins and elements of the semen and cryopreservative are inserted directly into the uterus, one can contract a nasty infection or have other complications - it's very bad ju-ju. If sperm is placed below the cervix, the cervix filters the semen and only lets the sperm through, so it's not done unless you're depositing the sperm directly into the uterus or far enough into the cervix to necessitate it.

[rainbowmoon]

thanks for the quick reply and all the info. FTMPapa! very helpful! of course I have much to think about too (but lots of time).

btw, I will be thinking of you next week! : how exciting next week could be the week for you! woohoo!

do you know anyone who has used this donor? (wondering why he took his site down?)
www.knowndonor.com

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by rainbowmoon

do you know anyone who has used this donor? (wondering why he took his site down?)
www.knowndonor.com

Nope, and I'm betting it's because it's creeeeeeeeeepy.

I mean, I get the biological imperative to pass one's genes on to the next generation - I truly do, but that is a touch ridiculous.

[rainbowmoon]

Originally Posted by FtMPapa

Nope, and I'm betting it's because it's creeeeeeeeeepy.

I mean, I get the biological imperative to pass one's genes on to the next generation - I truly do, but that is a touch ridiculous.

why do you feel it's creepy and rediculous? what did I miss there?
(not being snarky here, just honestly wondering! )

ETA- I do truly feel an anonymous donor would be in my best interest..

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by rainbowmoon

why do you feel it's creepy and rediculous? what did I miss there?
(not being snarky here, just honestly wondering! )

ETA- I do truly feel an anonymous donor would be in my best interest..

To clarify - I don't think known donors are creepy or ridiculous - it is, in fact, the way I wanted to go, but I couldn't get anything to work out properly, so I switched tactics, and now I'm really glad I did. I feel that this particular guy is creepy.

I wouldn't, personally, get involved with his crap, not because he's a wannabe known donor, but because he goes about it in a very odd way, and he is clearly putting a lot of effort into propagating his genes. It would not suprise me to learn that he had donated multiple times to multiple sperm banks.

This is actually something I randomly wondered about - there is no system in place, afaik, to prevent someone from donating gametes to one bank after another. It would not surprise me, for example, to learn that donor # 123 at bank a is the same as donor # 456 at bank b. I'm sure there are people who get a kick out of it, and not just for the free porn, and donate to multiple banks.

[rainbowmoon]

gotcha and thanks for clarifying.

I am sure there are men using multiple banks. I have thought of that aspect as well..

I didn't think that particular donor was weird though, (but I am also quite the newbie) I actually thought he was cool cause well I kinda like quirkyness in general. but I only saw his site once or twice before it was removed. I was just kind of wondering if there were others doing what he's doing (sound like no?) it does make one wonder though why his site was taken down!?!

are there restrictions on how much sperm one can donate?

sorry, I must apologize for my ignorance on the topic in advance, I am really clueless about all of this thus far. :

also I can't believe how much it's going to cost! dahummmm!!!!!!!!! does insurance cover anything? how much on average do you think a woman with normal fertility will have to spend to get pg using donor sperm? and also how long will it take on average (using self insemination) to get pg? anyone know or care to guess?

[quantumleap]

FTMPapa - you're getting two units for 700$??!!
Wow, maybe we need to switch to your bank! We're with Outreach/Xytex, which we chose because our initial email talks with Repromed were quite snarky on their end, and the other bank (CamAm?) had about two donors we would consider. We didn't really look at costs between banks, because my initial quick research showed that it was fairly similar from one to another. But, I could easily have been looking at outdated or no longer relevant info. Our washed, ID release sperm is just over 550$ per vial. Pricey. But, assuming it works within a few cycles, still cheaper than other methods.
Rainbowmoon - I think it's really neat that you're wanting to ttc as a widow. I'm sorry you're getting flak over it.
There are restrictions on how much a single donor can donate - at "our" bank it is 20 births. But, if you use his sperm once and get pregnant, that counts as one birth, and if you use it again four times and wind up with five children, that still counts as a single birth. So, really, the limit is 20 families, internationally. I never really thought about the fact that a donor could do his 20 at one bank and then move on to another. Kind of scary. While I understand why the limit is relatively high, it still feels a bit off to me. I'm a little creeped out by the thought of 20+ kids wandering around out there with the same genetic father as any children we may be lucky enough to find ourselves with. That's a lot of kids in one family. That's like your entire class in elementary school having the same father. The odds are slim that they'd ever meet accidentally, but still.
They say the odds of conception are 60% in 6 months. I'm hoping those are the global odds, as in, the odds for a woman using her male partner's not so hot sperm, plus the odds for women with "minor" underlying issues, plus the odds for women with no issues at all aside from the access to sperm the traditional way. Cause, it feels like it should be higher. I keep LexBeach and her 50% success rate prominently displayed in my mind - it could happen to me/you/anyone, right?
FTMPapa - have you downed that Clomid and ovulated yet? Your clinic is making me angry. It sucks too that you can't really take the action you would like to now, simply because they hold a ridiculous amount of power over your situation. No need to anger the person with the ability to get you pregnant! It's a twisted system, really. I'm glad it's there, but it would be much easier if we could all just have sex and be done with it.
I'm sitting at 6dpIUI today. My uterus feels really swollen. In fact, I was just out digging and planting in our front garden and all that activity produced an achy sort of cramp. So, I'm parked in front of the computer taking it easy for a bit. I'm not even sure what my gut feeling is about this cycle, I just deperately want it to work and am completely petrified to 1)get excited or 2)have the cycle fail. I ordered some pg tests from saveontests and am trying to hold out until they get here to test (they shouldn't be here until at least 10dpo). We'll see, I guess.