Well, I agree that Ferber is full of sh*t.
One thing he says that haunts me, though, is that if your child were doing something overtly dangerous, you'd stop them, no matter what the psychological cost, and you wouldn't think twice about it....and not sleeping well is dangerous to your child's well-being and general development yet we shudder at . I'm not sure how to resolve that.
He also makes it very clear that he doesn't believe its a phase (which I think it is) - it seems like all of you have children who did indeed go through just such a phase.
Didn't mean to make this about Ferber; hope this doesn't get pulled.
aaah, there's the flaw in the logic.
assuming that a child wakes up multiple times per night equates to "not sleeping well".
assuming that children who do not sleep through the night are sleep deprived.
in reality, waking up multiple times per night is NORMAL. it's how our brains are designed. cosleeping and nursing to sleep actually creates a more restful situation. most of us cosleeping and nursing moms would probably say that our children do stir but don't fully wake up. HOW is it more restful for a child to wake up fully in the middle of the night and be left to cry, and then the child gives up hope that their cries will be heard and attended to : and then they fall asleep again? so there's another flaw in the logic.
assuming that a child, after being left to cio then 'learns' to sleep through the night.
this is the part that comes in that solidifies that ferber's philosophy is cold-hearted. it is also possible that a child, in that scenario, 'gives up' and internalizes the message that their voice doens't matter, that their needs are not important for others. this is so sad to me.
compare this to many of the cosleeping/nursing to sleep babies who roll over, might not even open their eyes, latch on and fall almost immediately back to sleep. honestly, on any given night, i don't even know how often dd nurses because hallelujah...i get to sleep through it all too because she doesn't really wake up. so although dd nurses multiple times per night (on average, i would guess she nurses 3x), she doesn't wake up fully, so i suppose, technically she IS sleeping through the night. and both her and i wake up refreshed and well rested. there is nothing in the world quite like waking up to see your toddler's smiling face, a cuddle and a "hi, mama". :