i had a horrid sleeper. it does end. it does, it does. hang onto that one phrase that makes you want to deck the person that says it: THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
my ds is six now, and we still cosleep and he does still nurse some, though only for a minute and not every night (but only at the beginning of the night, now).
for comparison, when he was little, it took anywhere from 30-45m to put him down for a nap, and anywhere from 1-3 hours to get him to bed at night. i tried *everything*, i mean it. except CIO. that is the one thing i would not do. though believe me, there were nights that i wanted to, i was so frustrated.
AND i'm a single mama. so it was *always* on me.
so.....i had like six pillows on the bed, and i hid behind them: a fluffy novel, a more in-depth read (something mind-enhancing, lol), water with a sports cap, tissues, and sometimes even hershey kisses
and i ALWAYS made sure my bladder was empty because i never knew how long i'd be there.
there were times, i admit it now, that i lay there, nipple in mouth, breathing deeply, and to all outward appearances relaxing, but with the most horrible violent thoughts in my head. in my head i was pounding the headboard. i was sometimes throwing my kid through the window. i was screaming at the top of my lungs.
but not always. what got me through it was knowing it would end someday and that i was doing for my super-high-need child what he obviously needed.
i'm not even sure when it all ended, but i can assure you it wasn't 14 months. it was more like around age 3 or so. AND it was gradual, or i'd remember when it ended!
anyway he's 6 now and you'd *never* know he had sleep issues. he sleeps solidly through from the time he goes down, till morning. unless he has to pee, or is squirmy for some reason. he's so out of it that if i don't get him up, in his first hour asleep, to pee, he wets the bed. he talks in his sleep at 11ish every night, for a second or two. he's pretty regular.
and i am SO GRATEFUL.
i'm grateful that for whatever reason he needed, i was there for him when he was little.
don't worry, mama!!! it WILL end. i promise. and you are doing a fantastic job.
i'm sorry your DH isn't on board with you. would he be willing to sleep separately for awhile? if you are committed to parenting your ds to sleep, maybe it can be just on you. i did it. it was hard, but it's doable. oh, and it's still OK (here's permission, in case you need it
) to "sleep when the baby sleeps". that's one thing i did, make sleep a priority, and i still do. i'm always the rested mama
maybe one day i will not need 9 hours a night! i got it in fits and starts when my ds was little. now i get it all in a row. woohoo!
hang in there, mama. you're doing just fine.