Are you saying

[Aliviasmom]

If you say that it irratates you if people don't breastfeed and circ, does that mean that you are calling the women who DO bad moms?

[ThreeBeans]

I think someone who CHOOSES to not breastfeed while being fully aware of the benefits is making a bad choice.

I think someone who CHOOSES to circumcise in the absence of medical necessity and while being aware of the truth about RIC is making an ABUSIVE choice.

I'm not sure how to answer your poll.

[Jessy1019]

Originally Posted by ThreeBeans

I think someone who CHOOSES to not breastfeed while being fully aware of the benefits is making a bad choice.

I think someone who CHOOSES to circumcise in the absence of medical necessity and while being aware of the truth about RIC is making an ABUSIVE choice.

I'm not sure how to answer your poll.

I agree.

[RedWine]

Ditto ThreeBeans and Jessy.

[mummyto3girls]

Agree with everyone here.
And the breastfeeding thing, isn't that the reason we have breasts?? To feed and nourish our babies for their first months and years or life??

[Clarinet]

I hesitate to call someone who makes bad choices a bad mother. Breastfeeding and circ isn't all there is to life.

[libranbutterfly]

They are not necessarily bad moms, I try to think of them as ill-informed. It does make me mad that my SIL's both said "they couldn't BF, they didn't have any milk" even after I took them to LLL and was there when they had their babies to help. : Then of course, they were SO engorged when their milk came in, but they were DETERMINED that it was too late then to even try : So now every time I BF Lexi, in front of them, I hear "I wish I could BF, but I just didn't have my milk" or "If I had known that my milk wasn't supposed to come in before I had the baby, I would have BF" In most other regards, however, I know they try their best with their kids.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by ThreeBeans

I think someone who CHOOSES to not breastfeed while being fully aware of the benefits is making a bad choice.

I think someone who CHOOSES to circumcise in the absence of medical necessity and while being aware of the truth about RIC is making an ABUSIVE choice.

I'm not sure how to answer your poll.

:

If a woman still decides to circ after knowing all the facts then yes she is being a bad mom. Because she is not doing the most important job she will ever have to protect her son.

[Leylla]

It would really depend on the background....

W/ DS1 I was VERY ignorant of IRC. DS3 is uncut though. (DS2 was circed before we gained custody)

W/ DS1, he has a metabolic disorder (PKU) which neccesitates SOME use of formula.

Now, if I had known about IRC, and he didn't have PKU, maybe it looks a little different.

IRC is one issue.....

BFing....there are just SO many "ifs" in the equation. Is there sexual abuse in the past, are there supply issues, was bad information/advice given, does the child have a metabolic issue, is mom on contraindicated meds, has mom had breast reduction/mestectomy, etc. I couldn't ever look one of these moms in the face and call them a bad mom....just couldn't. It's so different than, "it's too much work" or "formula is just as good: : " Two whole differnent ball parks...(imo)

Steph

[ThreeBeans]

I agree with you, Steph.


I feel nothing but compassion for people who circed before they knew the truth, and I am truly happy we live in a world where there IS a substitute for breastmilk so that babies who truly can't get it, or might die without out, can still go on to live happy healthy lives.


When I think 'bad' I think the woman who says, "Oh, I *know* it's 'supposedly' better but I don't want to be tied down to the baby" or some such ridiculous nonsense? I'm not thinking of low-supply mamas, or babies with PKU, etc.

As far as women who go ahead and circ their sons for vanity? Well...see my signature!!!

[trinity6232000]

Until I have the ability to hear another persons thoughts, while being strapped to them
for days on end, I couldn't call another person a "bad mom". Not for any choice they
have made. Bad choices, bad decisions, I can count my own, but I'm not comfortable
counting others. Especially when it comes to parenting.

Besides how many "bad choices" does it take to be a "bad mom"?

Now if we're talking politics thats a whole other story....

[JustJamie]

Originally Posted by ThreeBeans

I think someone who CHOOSES to not breastfeed while being fully aware of the benefits is making a bad choice.

I think someone who CHOOSES to circumcise in the absence of medical necessity and while being aware of the truth about RIC is making an ABUSIVE choice.

I'm not sure how to answer your poll.

:

[Llyra]

No. don't. Moms making ill-informed, selfish, or misguided choices, maybe. But I have bigger fish to fry than to go labeling anyone else a bad mother. Judge not, ya know?

[RubyWild]

I don't know how to answer your poll. I feel very strongly about breastfeeding and circumcision, but I don't feel comfortable answering that I think they're bad mothers. I also don't want to just completely let them off the hook by saying their not without at least saying they're making bad choices with long term consequences for their child.

[MommytoTwo]

I know some GREAT moms who didnt/dont BF, and I know of at least one pretty horrible mom by all standards who did BF. Dont know about the circ we dont really takl about it. But I would never call a mom who chose not to BF a bad mom.

[jaxinsmom]

I find it frustrating when these two things (BF and circ) are lumped together.

For me, breastfeeding is the best choice, but I can understand other moms who give up and choose to FF. (understand, not agree with). I had a girlfriend who desperatly wanted to bf, and tried for the first month but decided to stop when she was pulling scabs out of her daughers mouth. Now, obviously she knew the benefit, but choose to ff instead. Her choice.

However, I have no understanding/sympathy/empathy for a parent who has the information and still chooses to circ her son. Thats abuse. Plain and simple. There will never be a situation a mother could describe that would make me think "humm, ok I can see how that makes sense, or is a good decision".

Like I said, the two should not be lumped together.

[Yooper]

Nope.

I wish everyone would do those things but I am sure other people wish I would make other choices with my parenting.

[Learnintolaugh]

Since I have not yet been handed my ‘Perfect Parent’ badge I will withhold judgment. Bad parenting to me is a CONSISTENT and CONSCIOUS choice over a span of time to put the parent’s desires before their child’s needs. Many parents can love their child with all their hearts and be willing to walk through fire for them but still make a bad choice due to lack of information, stress, depression and a host of other issues. My job is to parent my children, not determine if everyone else is living up to my standards.

[sweetpea333]

Originally Posted by Learnintolaugh

Since I have not yet been handed my ‘Perfect Parent’ badge I will withhold judgment. Bad parenting to me is a CONSISTENT and CONSCIOUS choice over a span of time to put the parent’s desires before their child’s needs. Many parents can love their child with all their hearts and be willing to walk through fire for them but still make a bad choice due to lack of information, stress, depression and a host of other issues. My job is to parent my children, not determine if everyone else is living up to my standards.

[KimProbable]

I wasn't an informed parent when DS was born and I had him circ'd. I then went on to BF him for almost 3 years though. Would they cancel each other out and make me a neutral parent? :

No, I don't think either factor determine if someone is a "bad" parent. (Yes, I'm grumpy and couldn't just sate my opinion without making it personal. )