Are you saying - Page 5

[trinity6232000]

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe

Breastfeeding and religion can not be used as analogies. It just doesn't work. Different planes of the universe.

I wasn't comparing breastfeeding and religion. I used your exact wording to make a point at
how silly it would be if we limit our exposer to others based on one choice in their life.

I wasn't making fun of what you said. It was only to make a point.

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe

I choose to be around people who share my parenting philosophies. Do I scream and run from others who parent different? No. However, I have the freedom to choose who I want in my circle of friendship and support. It's not just breastfeeders that do this. When I'm around moms who FF I usually get negative comments, disgusted looks, and sarcastic comments. Doesn't bother me....but you're not going to be in my close circle. Same goes with GD. I prefer to be with others who practice GD. I prefer others who practice AP. If that makes me a person who uses my judgement in a bad way....so be it. I don't agree but if others view me that way....ok. And I am entitled to decide for myself when I think someone makes a bad decision. What is important is how I treat the other person....not what I think.

I don't dispute anything you said in the above. My point was about limiting our time with
others for one choice. Not for how they treat us or their negative comments. I certainly
wouldn't want to be around somebody who was rude to me as well. To "prefer" to be around
certain types of people who are like us is to be human. I don't think anybody here wouldn't
understand that.

But to exclude people limited to one factor about them be it parent choices, religon, or
skin color I do feel is closed minded*. It's no different in my book to reject a friendship
with another simply based on them breastfeeding and not being friends with a person
simply because they are Muslim. Both are choices, personal choices.

My point wasn't that we should just except everybody for everything they think, choose,
speak. My point was that we shouldn't judge others on one choice they make.

I've seen so many judgments being thrown around this thread. Mothers being called "selfish"
for "not trying hard enough". That they are liars when they say they tried. That is why I felt
sad, why I posted my thoughts.

*(BTW Kleine Hexe I'm not calling you closed minded, I'm just replying my thoughts, but they
aren't directed at you.) :

[Kleine Hexe]

Originally Posted by trinity6232000

I wasn't comparing breastfeeding and religion. I used your exact wording to make a point at
how silly it would be if we limit our exposer to others based on one choice in their life.

I wasn't making fun of what you said. It was only to make a point.



I don't dispute anything you said in the above. My point was about limiting our time with
others for one choice. Not for how they treat us or their negative comments. I certainly
wouldn't want to be around somebody who was rude to me as well. To "prefer" to be around
certain types of people who are like us is to be human. I don't think anybody here wouldn't
understand that.

But to exclude people limited to one factor about them be it parent choices, religon, or
skin color I do feel is closed minded*. It's no different in my book to reject a friendship
with another simply based on them breastfeeding and not being friends with a person
simply because they are Muslim. Both are choices, personal choices.

My point wasn't that we should just except everybody for everything they think, choose,
speak. My point was that we shouldn't judge others on one choice they make.

I've seen so many judgments being thrown around this thread. Mothers being called "selfish"
for "not trying hard enough". That they are liars when they say they tried. That is why I felt
sad, why I posted my thoughts.

*(BTW Kleine Hexe I'm not calling you closed minded, I'm just replying my thoughts, but they
aren't directed at you.) :

It seems we understand each other perfectly. You get what I am saying.


dubfam and Finch (since you two seem to be talking about me), I don't choose my friends based on one choice. There are some women who breastfeed and do not circ and yet I choose to not be friends with them for a multitude of other reasons. There is a woman I know who FF and I know what she did to try to breastfeed. I would not say she did not try hard enough. I would not refuse to be around her simply due to this. On that note, a college friend of mine chooses to not breastfeed because (and these are her words exactly), "it's disgusting....breasts are for sex" and "I wouldn't want a baby hanging off my boob. I don't understand how you can stand it. Ugh" or "My god, you're still doing THAT? Gross." Now, I have decided to stop calling her. My choice. I choose to not listen to that.


I think that breastfeeding is the better choice and that leaving a baby boy intact is his basic human right. If someone chooses to FF or circ I'd like to know why and if it does not jive with my philosophies I will happily go my way and you yours. If that puts me in an ivory tower then so be it. Besides, isn't that what MDC's stance is? Breastfeeding is best and RIC is not supported. Last time I checked it was.

[Mountaingirl3]

The first 3 months of breastfeeding our first child was the hardest thing I had ever done. Yet, I made it through and continued to have years of benefits from breastfeeding. I could say, "I didn't give up, so those who do are bad moms." But, I know all the advantages I had--my mom bfed, dh was incredibly supportive, I was a SAHM, I had access to LC's and LLL etc. Plus, I'm mentally and physically healthy . . . It was a struggle, but I definitely consider myself lucky to have the inner and outer resources to handle that kind of struggle.

As for RIC, I also feel blessed that ds is intact. I feel blessed to have encountered the information that changed the whole paradigm of circ. for me. I am lucky to have natural empathy, a strong sense of the personhood of babies, and a mind that goes out of the box. And, I'm grateful for a dh who has these attributes, and was able to face his own circ.

As for people who weren't as lucky with these two choices, they have a lifetime of millions of potentially wonderful interactions with their children ahead.

[Finch]

You can say and believe breast is best and that RIC is bad, but that does not mean that mothers who FF or RIC are evil/bad mothers, and I think it's very poor form to automatically write a person off as an unworthy person or parent because of one choice. Sheesh. Such judgement. There's a HUGE difference between advocating for something and deciding those who do differently than what you advocate are "bad parents." What about people who say "I could never be friends with someone who had an abortion," or "I could never be friends with someone who is divorced," or "I could never be friends with someone who has been arrested." Lots of things happen in people's lives that you weren't there for, don't know the circumstances, and have no right to so harshly judge. I think FF and RIC are certainly included in those things. Life is messy, no one is perfect, and I think it sucks how many of you on this thread would so harshly judge another parent based on one thing. Pathetic.