How do I help my dd learn to read?

[Momalea]

I discovered yesterday that my 6.5yo dd is unhappy that she doesn't know how to read yet and would like me to help her learn how. We are unschoolers and I haven't been worried that she doesn't know how and just figured that someday it would click for her. Well, she's motivated and wants help NOW.

I taught myself to read when I was 4 and have no memory as to the process of how that came about. I'm feeling flummoxed as to how to help her. I point out words as we read and such, but it doesn't make things click for her.

Did anyone use a particular method (I absolutely will not use phonics) or read a book that gave them some pointers or????

Thanks so much!

[larksongs]

I am curious, and hoping that my question is not nosy/offensive but why are you completely against phonics? I am aware of the sight word vs phonics idea. Sometimes a mix of the two does help , some children work better with sight others with phonics. Mine is of the latter department

[sewingmama]

Honestly, my DD more or less taught herself to read, using a combination of both sight words and phonics. IMO, both are applicable and useful -- she would recognize certain words, and when she didn't know a word, phonics helped her figure it out. I would tell her things like, "Oh, that's such-and-such-letter; it says such-and-such," or, "see the 'e' on the end; it's a silent 'e' and makes the 'a' here say its name." I didn't use any formal program though, just kind of answered questions as they arose. And a while ago it all just clicked, and she could read simple stuff, and then suddenly it clicked again, and she was bringing me books and telling me that they were too easy for her, and I was surprised at what she's able to read. Now she reads books out loud to me and I just help her with any words she doesn't understand.

[2 in August]

My dd wanted to learn to read. But when I tried to teach her she rebelled against it. What ended up working was letting her watch Leap Frog videos and Between the Lions dvds. She isn't completely fluent yet, but it's amazing how well she can read.

[bwylde]

I used to hate phonics and the idea of them too, but they really do work well in conjunction to sight words. IME, when they start learning sight words, other words will start make sense if they have the same sounds ("Look, this word is Cat. With an H it's Hat or a B it's Bat" or an M it's Mat" for example). DS basically taught himself with us reading to him a lot and playing computer games. He memorized a lot of books then he was able to pick them up in other books. He was intrested in letters and the sounds they made through games he played. Then he was able to start figuring out what words he never seen before said.

It was definately a process but a lot smoother than it sounds. Literally one day out of the blue a while back he was reading Little House on the Prarie books to his sister and I was like "Wha????"

Let your DD play on starfall.com; my kids love it as it's fun and they don't know they're learning. There are lots of programs online for free, including "Really Reading" www.tanglewoodeducation.com/ReallyReading2.pdf

The McGuffey readers are great. DS loved them. You can print them free from http://www.gutenberg.org/

hopefully you can find what you're looking for! Sometimes wanting to read and being able to are two different things, but it never hurts to lay a good foundation for starting.

(ETA: we're unschooling too)

[rootzdawta]

Sorry for my ignorance . . .what's wrong with phonics?

[lauracd]

Phonics gave me the ability to read words I had never encountered before and helped me so much as my love for English and Literature grew. I'm working with my 5 year old on phonics now and he is sounding out words he's never seen before. Even if you never officially learn the rules for phonics, you internalize those rules and apply them unconciously to what you are reading (you learn that the i makes a certain sound most of the time based on whether it is accompanied by a silent e or not). Do I think about these rules everytime I read? No but I think they are part of the reason I'm such a good reader and enjoy reading so much. You might consider giving them a chance---let your dc see Leap Frog Letter Factory or something low key like that.

[NannyL]

I am also curious why you don't want to use any sort of phonics? I taught myself to read at a young age as well, and I really believe that I taught myself phonics. Sure, I memorized some common sight words, but I think more than that I made the connection that the letters each made specific sounds. And as I read more (and was read to more), I made more connections and learned more phonics rules. Without a knowledge of phonics, how do you approach a new word?

I don't think you necessarily need to use any sort of phonics program, if perhaps that's what you are really against. But I do think you can help her make those connections. As you're reading, you can point out that the two words that begin with B on the page have the same beginning sound. What sorts of books are you reading with her? I'm guessing longer books with less pictures, chapter books? You may step back and try some easy reader books as well - with less words on the page, and smaller words as well, as well as the picture clues, she may have an easier time making the connections.

[Dar]

I think most kids will intuit the rules of phonics as they learn to read, and often learning them explicitly is boring and tedious. Is that what you meant?

Where is your daughter right now in the reading process? Does she know all of the letters, or most, or some? Can she read any words, like her name? Does she write letters at all, or write squiggles and say they're letters? The suggestions I would give would vary a lot depending on what she's already doing, so if you could maybe clarify that and talk a little about where she is in terms of literacy...

dar

[Momalea]

Thanks for your responses, this is the first time I've been able to get online today and there are a lot (thanks!) of posts to respond to.

First, pertaining to phonics. I'm not saying there's anything wrong per se with phonics, but I personally go cross-eyed and brain dead when I read about it and how to teach using phonics. Being a whole language learner (I think that's the right term), it just doesn't work for me. Who knows, it might work for dd, but I wouldn't be the right person to work with her that way. Maybe the phonics stuff I've seen isn't as helpful as some available out there...

Dd has known her alphabet for years and can spell several words that she uses a lot in writing. She writes frequently and asks us how to spell things. As far as I can tell she only recognizes those words she knows how to spell: her name, names of people & pets in her family, cat, love, dear, I, you, & the. She doesn't know what sound all the letters make though we've gone over them many times.

She's been doing starfall.com for a few months, but it hasn't made any difference.

I read to her frequently, mainly from chapter books or non-fiction books based on her current interests. Her comprehension of what we read and her vocabulary seem advanced to me. Lately with reading to my 1yo ds we've been revisiting the board books from her early years which she either knows my heart or knows the gist of. When I ask her to point to the words as she's reciting them from memory, it's clear that she's not understanding the connection between what she's saying and what's on the page. That's where I'm stuck. I point out the words (usually using the board books, not the chapter) and how they're pronounced and how they're like other words, but it doesn't seem to be clicking. When I say it doesn't seem to be clicking, I mean that everytime we do this I go over the same things again and again and she doesn't remember what we went over from the last time.

I know it will click for her at some point and she'll be reading up a frenzy, but she doesn't want to wait any longer and I don't want her self-esteem to suffer. She's been pointing out the kids she knows who know how to read (a few who are younger than her) and feeling bad about it. I have talked to her about how different people learn different skills at different ages and it has nothing to do with how smart you are. Anyway, I'd like to give her as much help as I can, especially since she asked for it, which is pretty unusual for her.

[elizawill]

i totally second the leapfrog videos. first buy her "the letter factory" and then buy her "the word factory". these videos are great. i also second starfalls.com and last i LOVE the tanglewood really reading program. my dd loves bob books too, but that was introduced last. i also made a chalkboard in on my kitchen door. i bought the kind you paint on, and it looks very cool. i write out sight words there for her and we review them each week for fun. each day i read to my dd. she loves the pippi longstocking adventures. she doesn't have to do anything but listen during this time, and i only try to have her read for 10 or 15 minutes a day so she doesn't feel overwhelmed.

[Dar]

I think she's not really developmentally ready for reading yet - her brain isn't ready - but she probably won't like that. I would talk with her about how kids do different things at different times, when they're ready, like learning to ride a two-sheeler, or losing a tooth, and reading works just like that.

Whole language does incorporate meaningful phonics. If you've already been over the letter sounds with her, you were doing phonics, and it sounds like that isn't working for her.

One thing I might do, while you're waiting for her to be ready, is get some index cards and label some basic stuff in the house - lamp, door, bed, etc. Being able to recognize more words might help her feel better about reading. If the other stuff isn't "clicking", I'd drop it, mostly, and let her read to her brother by going through the books she's memorized.

You might also try some of the old Dick and Jane pre-primers, if you can find any. They're made for kids who memorize words forst and figure out phonics later - in the first story, one you memorize "look" and "oh" you can read the whole story.

Dar

[sebrinaw]

I have just started teaching my two older boys to read. I am using what they love which is computer games and video games. I took the words that they see all the time such as "game" "play" "start" "new" "quit" ect.... now they recognize all these words and they see a purpose to them.. ie they now no how to start and stop the games without my help. I have also given them words like at and showed them that if they add certain letters to the front of that word they can make new words, like cat, sat, mat, hat ect... They are not "reading" yet but they are getting there
Sebrina

[Momalea]

Originally Posted by Dar

I think she's not really developmentally ready for reading yet - her brain isn't ready - but she probably won't like that. I would talk with her about how kids do different things at different times, when they're ready, like learning to ride a two-sheeler, or losing a tooth, and reading works just like that.

Whole language does incorporate meaningful phonics. If you've already been over the letter sounds with her, you were doing phonics, and it sounds like that isn't working for her.

One thing I might do, while you're waiting for her to be ready, is get some index cards and label some basic stuff in the house - lamp, door, bed, etc. Being able to recognize more words might help her feel better about reading. If the other stuff isn't "clicking", I'd drop it, mostly, and let her read to her brother by going through the books she's memorized.

You might also try some of the old Dick and Jane pre-primers, if you can find any. They're made for kids who memorize words forst and figure out phonics later - in the first story, one you memorize "look" and "oh" you can read the whole story.

Dar

Thanks Dar, my gut feeling is that she's not develomentally ready yet because she usually picks things up pretty quickly. It hurts my protective mama heart to see her feel bad about this. I want to try to help her/support her but I don't want her to struggle so much with learning that she feels like a failure.
Thanks for the idea about labeling things around the house with index cards. I think for her recognizing more words would feel like an accomplishment.

[MonicaS]

Aside from her real desire to learn to read *right now*, your DD sounds a lot like my 8yr old DD did at that age. I worked w/ her over and over, going over the same words again and again, but she just didn't *get it*. Nothing would stick. She would try to memorize the books instead of learn the words. We both would get so worked up and so frustrated. She really wanted to learn, but it wasn't getting in there.

In my DD's case, it seemed like she didn't have the confidence in her reading and would second-guess every word she was reading. She would "forget" a word that she just read perfectly the page prior.

I decided to let it go and just read to her as if her learning to read wasn't important. (It sounds like you might take that same approach if your DD wasn't desperate to learn now.) My DD is just recently reading short chapter books very slowly w/ lots of questions. At 8.5 yrs, she is half-way through her first longer(10+ ch), chapter book. I had NOTHING to do w/ it. I'm so happy for her; I can tell she is proud of herself.

All that was to say that eventhough your DD may REALLY, REALLY want to read, now. She just may not be ready to retain the info. Is there something else at which she is she is proficient? Math comes very easily to my DD, so I would take out the math workbooks when she wanted to work on something. She as good at math, so the fact that she had a lot of trouble w/ reading wasn't on her mind all the time. Interestingly, my DD loved/loves the phonics workbooks we have, Explode the Code and Spectrum. (Maybe that helped w/ her reading confidence?)