Preparing a child who's very anxious about shots FOR shots?

[melissel]

Let me say, first, that I would prefer there would be no debate here. This decision is already made for our family. What I'm hoping to gather is some advice to make this easier on my DD. If you have to vent about it, please take it to the vax board, as it will not help me, or change my mind. Thank you in advance

My DD knows she needs shots in July, to prepare for entrance to school. She's known since she was three, when the doc mentioned in her exam that she won't need shots until she's 5. Since then, and I mean that literally, she's been obsessing about it. Then he did the same thing again in her 4-year WCC visit! I guess it's comfort of some kind to most kids? To mine, it's just a reminder that something she's afraid of is coming, albeit very slowly.

So she knows why she's getting the shots, and she's very much looking forward to starting school, and she knows she needs them for school. She's seen DH, my mom, and me all get shots--we've taken her many times in order to model for her that it does hurt for a minute, but then afterwards everything is fine, and life goes on. But I know when the day comes, I'll have to drag her kicking and screaming into the office if I intend to have it done. This breaks my heart, and I don't know what to do.

Has anyone been through this? Is there any way to take the edge off the situation here?

Again, thank you for not debating here. I'd rather have no responses at all than flames or debate.

[kewb]

Prior to changing our minds about vaccines my dd behaved much the way yours does. Ask your pediatrician if they use the spray that numbs the area prior to giving the shot. Knowing that the pain will be minimal may help ease her anxiety.

[Starr]

Originally Posted by kewb

Prior to changing our minds about vaccines my dd behaved much the way yours does. .

Wow you just had to stick it in there... I think its okay for her to be scared and not want the shots, obviously. Can you schedule something fun for afterwards so she has something to look forward to? What about reading her a story as they prep her arm and try to keep her engaged so she doesn't see when the needle is going in? Distraction is key. Also tell the Dr. she is hesitant and they may try to be more gentle or have their own method of distraction.

[mammastar2]

Numbing spray sounds good!

You could try coming up with a super-good bribe that she also knows about ahead of time. Also talk about what it actually feels like ('just a little pinch').

She has my sympathy - I was terrified of needles as a kid, and I'm still a huge wuss about them. The main thing is not to have a freaky twisted health care provider administering them though: I still remember being STRAPPED DOWN for a test while screaming as a child. :

[mclisa]

We're in this position too.

M had her kindergarten shots which I thought went really well. A little sore leg that night, but nothing too much. Then when she got her flu shot this fall she fought it (probably remembering how many she got just a few months before) and she stiffened her leg so it hurt and she got a very sore leg for the next few days. She needs to get another shot in June (chicken pox booster) and found out about it. She cried and cried last night at the thought of it. I even told her that we would get ice cream afterwards (which I had already planned on doing) and that didn't work. I'm not sure what we'll do that day.

[lilgreen]

See if you can find some good books from the library. It helped my ds a little to remember when curious george was in the hospital and got a shot and he was scared, but then realized it didn't really hurt.

Good luck!

[bl987ue]

Definately call the doctor's office about the numbing spray beforehand, and it would be a good idea to see what books are available at the library to reduce her fear level. Above all, be honest. "Yes, it will hurt a bit, kind of like a sharp pinch--but then it is all over! It is really, really, fast, and then we will get ice cream."

[melissel]

All good ideas, everyone, thank you. I had no idea a numbing spray was a possibility! I'll call about it in advance for sure. We already have a trip to Target scheduled for afterward to buy a special toy she's been wanting, but lately even that has lost its appeal. I think the problem is she's had WAY too much lead time to think about it, and it's turning into this huge deal.

I'll look for the books too. Keep the ideas coming if you have them!

[AbbieB]

Can you hold her while they give them?

Does she have a comfort object she can bring?

Does she still nurse? (Long shot I guess, but nursing through the shots works for babies!)

I did not know about the numbing spray but what a great idea! Maybe even a placebo water/alchol spray can help?

What ever you do don't let anyone hold her down for them. this happened to me and i was well into my 30's before a needle didn't totally freak me out!

[melissel]

Originally Posted by AbbieB

Can you hold her while they give them?

Does she have a comfort object she can bring?

Does she still nurse? (Long shot I guess, but nursing through the shots works for babies!)

I did not know about the numbing spray but what a great idea! Maybe even a placebo water/alchol spray can help?

What ever you do don't let anyone hold her down for them. this happened to me and i was well into my 30's before a needle didn't totally freak me out!

I actually HAVE TO hold while they give them--there's kind of a cross-body hug that they have you do so they don't flail their arms. I'm kind of torn about it, but yeah, it's better than someone else holding her down (which would never, EVER happen, no way, no how! How traumatic for you!). She has no comfort object, and is no longer nursing. Funny though, nursing through shots never worked for her! She'd be nursing away happily and feel the shot go in, and her eyes would fly open and her mouth would open as wide as possibly could, and she'd shriek No getting past this girl

Interesting idea on the placebo. If they refuse to do something like that, I might try it. I hate doing stuff like that, but if it would reduce her fear, maybe... I wonder if there's even an OTC product I could buy for that? Probably wouldn't be as effective as an EMLA spray, but might help!

[maya44]

Numbing cream is a great idea.

We also brought little gifts right to the exam room, all wrapped up. They got one after each shot.

MY ped. loved the idea and has suggested it to other parents.

[CarrieMF]

You can get patches to put on the skin too to numb it. Ask at the pharmacy.

Is it the pain that she's scared of, the needle itself?

I remember getting my 5year booster. First they drew something on our arm(I think I got a bunny), then we had to count to 10 while they gave us the needle. A friend of mine was with us, she was getting hers too. She was terrified so they had me have mine first and when it was her turn I counted with her.

I get shots every other week, sometimes they hurt and other times they don't it depends whether they hit the nerve or not.

[kewb]

Originally Posted by Starr

Wow you just had to stick it in there...

I wasn't trying to stick anything in there. I was telling my experience which had nothing to do with trying to change the pp mind and everything to do with my state of mind.

[momuveight2B]

At this age I have them sit on my lap and give me a bear hug, facing me. Then I encourage them to focus on a picture or something on the opposite wall. The nurse gets it over with very quickly. Then we go to Dairy Queen. In our house a shot equals a trip for ice cream.

I have only had one really bad experience with one of my boys when he was about seven. He wanted to go last and all the other kids had gotten their shot and then it was his turn. He did get hysterical and I did finally decide to sit on him and pin him on the table. I really hated to do it but the decision had been made and putting it off would have only made him more fearful. I had sent the other kids to the waiting room by that time and tried everything else. The funny thing is that a few years later this has turned into a tall tale about how six doctors and nurses had to come in and pin him down. He tells it with great glee and since only I and the nurse were in the room with him no one else is really sure how much he is fibbing. He has had shots since without any problems. That day he just had to get it that it was going to happen no matter what.

My kids do remember things too like when they say no more till such and such an age. They do ask everytime we go to the doctors and I am always honest with them. If it turns out to be a surprise then I offer to let them come back the next day when they can plan for it.

Once you have made the decision then I think you have to be prepared to follow through just like teeth brushing, dental care or anything else medical. They have to understand there are some things we can't get out of because there could be a time when medical treatment is not optional and they have to be willing to cooperate. I am honest with them too about my own fears when I have to get uncomfortable procedures done.

[melissel]

Originally Posted by maya44

We also brought little gifts right to the exam room, all wrapped up. They got one after each shot.

This is awesome! She loves doodads of all kinds, and it would definitely take her mind off the stress.

Carrie, yes, it's definitely the pain she fears. Otherwise, she loves going to the doctor, and often requests to go see him when she has a minor symptom of any kind. That's a good idea too, I'll see if the nurses would be into that. My mom is an excellent artist, and I think the idea of a drawing on her arm would be appealing and distracting.

momuveight2B, that's a funny story Well, not the having to pin him down part, but the tall tale part! At least he isn't traumatized by it. I agree about having to follow through. Plus, we've been talking about it for so long now, I think it will be a relief to her to have a date to just have it over with.

I think a combo of these ideas will help ease her anxiety a lot. Knowing that I can give her Tylenol right away, a numbing topical of some kind, the little gifts to open, and the outing right afterward should all go far. I'm so glad I asked here! I was really hesitant to--didn't want to spark a fight. I feel much better knowing that there are ways to make this easier for her.

[living_organic]

Okay here's what I used to do...

We had the little thing that pops up out of a turkey (it was right after thanksgiving) when it's done, it looks like a mini shot and has a pointy end...well, she had been using it to pretend her dolls were getting shots and she tried it on me, then I noticed it actually felt like a real shot, so I decided to play that with her every day till her appt. First I let her give me a *shot* and I would be goofy and say *OUCH...be easier!!!* and she would laugh and then I would do hers...getting progressivly harder till it felt like a real shot...she was fine with that. Then on the day of her appt I had that thing ready, and I said "Okay dd, it's your turn first, the nurse will give you your shot, then you give me mine okay?" I distracted her right before the poke by pointing to something cool on the wall, then as soon as the needle pulled out I said "Oh, it's my turn already? Okay give me my shot now."

It worked perfectly, she never cried or even started to. The nurse was amazed.

[KMK_Mama]

I am a little nervous about this as well. DD is due for her shots next month.
I haven't said anything about them. When she got her Hep A vaccine at age 3 she WANTED the shot and they did it, put the bandaid on and she got mad because she thought they hadn't even done it yet! Maybe she will surprise you?? Don't stress too much.

I remember getting mine at 5 too...I was so scared, but I got ice cream in the end so I put on a brave face!

[Twocoolboys]

I was terrified as a child too. Once, my mom called the doctor's office ahead of time and arranged for them to come out and give me my shot in the waiting room. I had only been waiting for a little bit and was, of course, dreading my shot. The nurse came out, gave it to me right there and it was over so quickly, I remember remarking that it didn't even hurt - lol. I think it really worked because I didn't have a chance to tense up before the shot, so my arm was nice and relaxed. Of course, if they have more than one to do, it probably wouldn't work as well.

[julie128]

Give her a lollipop to suck on WHILE she's getting the shots. The sugar and the sucking will help with the pain. I didn't know about the numbing spray. Have used ice packs in the past to good effect.

[mamatoady]

I'm sure this won't help, but I actually remember getting my 5 yr booster shots and I remember the nurse telling me it felt like a frog bite. I just sat there thinking "what does a frog bite feel like?" "do frogs bite?" anyway, I sat on my moms lap and she gave the shots (I think I got 2) and it was over.

On a side note, are YOU obsessing more about your daughters reaction to going than she is of actually getting the shots? She might pick up on your anxiety and misplace her own. If mom thinks it's no big deal and it won't be that bad, she can pick that up too.

sarah