Some people just don't get it.... - Page 2

[KMK_Mama]

My DH is circ'd and I NEVER O during intercourse. I often wonder what I am missing out on, but after he restores I might be sadly disappointed and still not O during intercourse. Who knows. He is the only person I have ever been with so I have nothing to compare to.

[Mrs.CEH3]

Originally Posted by blsilva

Well, not to get too graphic, dh is circumcised, and our sex life is great. No issues with painful sex, lubrication, etc.

That said, I think that you could pose the question- If it is this good now, how spectacular could it have been if all the parts were still there?

Lord, honey, I might never want to leave the house!

[l_olive]

Originally Posted by Mrs.CEH3

Lord, honey, I might never want to leave the house!

This is absolutely not a joke for many of us who suffer sexual dysfunction as a direct result of our partner's circumcision. There are more of us than you might think.

Here are two threads here if you're interesting in reading more.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=672343

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=469671

[Mrs.CEH3]

Originally Posted by l_olive

This is absolutely not a joke for many of us who suffer sexual dysfunction as a direct result of our partner's circumcision. There are more of us than you might think.

Here are two threads here if you're interesting in reading more.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=672343

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=469671

I was laughing at myself. I wasn't ridiculing those who experience sexual dysfunction. In the thread that was pulled, matter of fact, I expressed sympathy for those with the problem.

[TigerTail]

[Mrs.CEH3]

what is your problem, Tiger Tail? If you have something to say to me, go ahead and say it, and dispense with the chickish passive-aggressive behavior. You tossed snark at me in the other thread, too.

[Mrs.CEH3]

Originally Posted by l_olive

This is absolutely not a joke for many of us who suffer sexual dysfunction as a direct result of our partner's circumcision. There are more of us than you might think.

Here are two threads here if you're interesting in reading more.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=672343

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=469671

Olive, I read your post in the second thread you linked. Posting that took courage, and I admire you for it. I hope for the best for you.

[blsilva]

Originally Posted by l_olive

This is absolutely not a joke for many of us who suffer sexual dysfunction as a direct result of our partner's circumcision. There are more of us than you might think.

I think we can all agree that circumcision negatively affects the sex lives of many- all to different degrees. I feel sad for those who are hurt so deeply by this horrible practice. But for those who seem to feel unaffected by it, many (including my dh, at one time) have the attitude of , well, since I'm okay, then its okay to do it. They do not understand that others are more deeply affected than they were.
For them (especially the men, who seem to be so sensitive on the subject) I say fine- its good now, but how much better could it be, for them and for their partners?
It was not meant as a joke- I'm sorry if you were offended.
But I have to admit, a little humor was not unwelcome for me.

[Mrs.CEH3]

But for those who seem to feel unaffected by it, many (including my dh, at one time) have the attitude of , well, since I'm okay, then its okay to do it. They do not understand that others are more deeply affected than they were.

Guilty as charged, and well put. I'm glad to have discovered this section of the board because I honestly had no idea folks suffered the way Olive so bravely described. It is very sad.

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by blsilva

But for those who seem to feel unaffected by it, many (including my dh, at one time) have the attitude of , well, since I'm okay, then its okay to do it. They do not understand that others are more deeply affected than they were.

I suggest that they think that they are unaffected, because they don't realize what they are missing. Also, I suspect that circumcised men have shorter sex lives than intact men. They lose sensation and bit by bit, need more stimulation to complete and eventually all the parts just don't work...much more quickly than happens in intact men.

Also, the older women get, the drier they get, which is the point at which the lack of lubricating skin becomes sorely missed and I mean sorely.

[blsilva]

Originally Posted by RiverSky

I suggest that they think that they are unaffected, because they don't realize what they are missing.

You are probably right there. But, at least im my experience, trying to convince a man who thinks that his sex life is great that there's something wrong with it is an uphill battle, and quite often ends the subject of circumcision altogether.

[phatchristy]

I think, as others have posted, there are a multitude of factors involved in how much a woman is affected. How tight the circ is, among other things, and obviously the individual differences in anatomy.

I know, TMI probably, but I have always easily O'd...can do it with penetration, multiple times very easily. : Let's just summarize in saying that is how I am built...and I've known it and uh practiced that sort of thing even as a younger teenager (don't want to get graphic). My DH claims he's very lucky to have found me. I've come to the conclusion that some women are just built that way.

Anyhow, this doesn't mean that having a circumcised husband doesn't impact me. He tends towards being rougher than I need it, and it takes him WAY too long. Plus, after a while I would get irritated, and be forced to use lube. Anyone else have that feeling of getting pumped up with air...UGH..that is NASTY!

Well, let's just say, with the little bit of restoration he's done so far it has made a huge difference. Comfort wise...and in certain positiions I can definitely feel a gliding mechanism and don't need to use any lube. That is a definite benefit. Also, no more being pumped full of air. I think the skin sort of bunching up and blocking it really took care of that.

I only have *positives* to say from my standpoint for foreskin restoration, as does my DH. Though, we've only been doing manual. Very slow, but real progress! Women I know whose DH's have kept their innerforeskin/glans covered for a few weeks during restoration have all told me that their DH's all got "gentler" and more passionate during intercourse. Basically, it takes the "rough stuff" out of the picture. Which is great for women...we don't need it!

But, you see...I have friends who have suffered so much worse as a result of their husband's circ (one of which I posted about a while ago who is definitely going through a marital crisis because of it)...and I can completely relate to some of what they say...just from the improvement we've had in him growing an inch or so of skin.

[l_olive]

Originally Posted by Mrs.CEH3

Olive, I read your post in the second thread you linked. Posting that took courage, and I admire you for it. I hope for the best for you.

Thank you. It's only worth putting my story out there if it makes even just one person ask themselves it it's worth the risk. Maybe their partner doesn't feel like he's been damaged, but maybe their son will. It's Russian roulette.

[LavenderMae]

I would go as far as saying circ effects sexual intercourse negatively almost (there's always an exception) 100% of the time. Even if your sex life is great with a circed man it's still been altered in a negative way. How can it work the way intended when a very integral part of the man's genitals is missing. I think the only thing keeping a lot of people from admitting this is social conditioning induced denial.

[moonfirefaery]

I'm fine with our sex life, but I think it could be better. When I first learned of the sexual side effects, I thought "Oh my, that explains it" and remember thinking how true it was of us. Still, I consider my sex life "just fine." Yet I wonder if maybe it could be phenomenol if my husband wasn't circ'd.

[prothyraia]

I never though that my husband being circ'd negatively affected our sex life...

...until we tried having sex after I had my son. I think most, if not all, of the ongoing postpartum pain in that arena wouldn't be there if he was intact.

[Greeneyes0506]

Honestly, I do see a huge difference between intact and circed men. I guess I am lucky and do orgasm every time I have intercourse with DH

IME, intact is more gentle, and the orgasms are much more intense. No real soreness or burning and no need for lube. I would pick intact anyday of the week

[party_of_seven]

I didn't until dh started restoring. Now I do about 50% of the time. I firmly believe that circ negatively impacts sex. I thought things were good, but once dh restored I found out how much we were both missing. It makes me angry and sad if I really think about it.

[bluetoes]

Yes I feel very lucky being with an intact man. Although we do like lube, again another physical difference between different women. 99 times out of 100 I will o with intercourse, in part because I have a very attentive partner. I am a very lucky woman.

The PITA part about all this and explaining to women why not to circ., is women don't want to think of their little tiny baby boys as someday going to be sexual beings. Only after a couple of glasses on wine was I able to tell a friend 'your future daughter in law will thank you' since it was a very personal admission on my part. I also didn't want her to get offended thinking I was calling her own sex life crap. She's only been with one person, a circ'ed man so she has no perspective on it.

[blsilva]

Originally Posted by party_of_six

I didn't until dh started restoring. Now I do about 50% of the time. I firmly believe that circ negatively impacts sex. I thought things were good, but once dh restored I found out how much we were both missing. It makes me angry and sad if I really think about it.

This is kind of how I feel. Since I've never been with an intact man, I cannot say what I may be missing. Sex has never been a problem, but I believe that it is different because of what was done to him. I would like to know what it is supposed to be like, but the restoration talk isn't going anywhere fast, so I'm really not holding out for that.
I'm just glad my boys (and their partners) will never have to wonder.