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Some people just don't get it.... - Page 3

post #41 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by party_of_six View Post
I didn't until dh started restoring. Now I do about 50% of the time. I firmly believe that circ negatively impacts sex. I thought things were good, but once dh restored I found out how much we were both missing. It makes me angry and sad if I really think about it.
The key is, in my experience, that restoration seems to eliminate the negative sensations that women feel during circumcised intercourse. The weird thing is, you might be just assuming some of the "weird sensations" you feel are normal. Sometimes they're not even bad, they're just not what you need. They too I think can create a feeling of distance/distraction from your partner. But, with the gaining of more foreskin when you have the gliding mechanism there and everything is so smooth...more like a massage even...everything is just softer, gentler and feels overall just so much better. I don't know how to describe it. I do remember at times feeling so many negative sensations in the past and a definite feeling of distance from my partner when he was doing those things that he had to do (long rough strokes) because of his circumcision...that I didn't need, and were actually annoying to me.

Honestly, I thought before that was what sex was supposed to be like (in my experience that was all I had felt). I just assumed it was supposed to be that way. But honestly, it did always in a sense feel sort of off. Because it was always faster/rougher than I needed it...timing wise, everything always felt sort of off. I sort of took my turn first, then he did....since everything came so easily to me (ha, no pun intended : ). I thought the irritation afterwards and dryness was normal. Now, I know it is not! Sex was MEANT to be a gentle dance of love...not a high impact, irritating aerobic endeavor. : We wouldn't have survived as a species if sex was difficult, irritating and uncomfortable!

So, I had clues that circumcision impacted sex. It most definitely impacts handplay and oral as well. I am not going to get into all of it, lets just say that everything is SO much easier and enjoyable for both of us.

I feel so sad that most men will never even have an idea of what they are missing out on : .

I mean...my husband actually told me a few months into restoration that "masturbation no longer hurt anymore." HUH? OK, he thought it was normal for it to hurt before : . His negative sensations no longer existed anymore as well.
post #42 of 51
phatchristy~I could have written that post almost word for word.

ITA
post #43 of 51
Very well said.

That so many men don't even know that masturbation isn't supposed to require hand lotion or make your penis raw (or bleeding!) from microtears is America's dirty little secret.
post #44 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerTail View Post
Very well said.

That so many men don't even know that masturbation isn't supposed to require hand lotion or make your penis raw (or bleeding!) from microtears is America's dirty little secret.
Yep, DH thought that the "skin splits" and irritation was just part of normal masturbation. NOPE, that's masturbation with a circumcised penis. Plus, circumcision makes them...uh ...have to work harder to accomplish their task. They have to use a lot of pressure, force and speed to accomplish things...a direct difference between a natural penis, where the natural motion of a foreskin gliding back and forth over the glans easily is enough. No doubt as well, that the intact man feels more during the actual act of masturbation/intercourse.... for the circumcised man the majority of pleasure is at the orgasm. Which is why sadly circumcised men are often very goal oriented...looking at the finish rather than the journey (if you know what I mean...).

Too many years of research, reading and talking to people and I get to know way too much about this... .
post #45 of 51
My dh is intact and I do not o from penetration alone.

I find it troubling to see not o'ing from penetration defined as 'dysfunction.' That is a concept that has been used to subjugate women's sexuality for a long time, going back at least to Sigmund Freud who thought clitoral pleasure was inherently immature - IOW that a real woman is satisified with the act that just so happens to lead to male o, and doesn't ask for more.

As a strategic matter of activism, I suggest you refrain from arguments that depend on the dubious proposition that you understand others' sex lives better than they do themselves.
post #46 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by GalateaDunkel View Post
My dh is intact and I do not o from penetration alone.

I find it troubling to see not o'ing from penetration defined as 'dysfunction.' That is a concept that has been used to subjugate women's sexuality for a long time, going back at least to Sigmund Freud who thought clitoral pleasure was inherently immature - IOW that a real woman is satisified with the act that just so happens to lead to male o, and doesn't ask for more.

As a strategic matter of activism, I suggest you refrain from arguments that depend on the dubious proposition that you understand others' sex lives better than they do themselves.
Sue Johanson, a registered nurse, host of 'The Sunday Night Sex Show' (WTN/W Network) and 'Talk Sex With Sue' (Oxygen) and pioneer in her field of sex education, will tell you research indicates that most women do not orgasm by penetration alone, but rather different forms of stimulation.

To say that a female who can't orgasm by penetration of a circumcised man is labeled as having a 'sex dysfunction' would be inaccurate.

I know my first paragraph is OT, but I couldn't let this go unanswered. Since the second paragraph is connected to the first, I feel, it should not have to be removed. Thanks.
post #47 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerTail View Post
Very well said.

That so many men don't even know that masturbation isn't supposed to require hand lotion or make your penis raw (or bleeding!) from microtears is America's dirty little secret.
OMG!

WHAT? Tears from masturbation?

Damn. I'm so glad I'm intact.
post #48 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by phatchristy View Post
Yep, DH thought that the "skin splits" and irritation was just part of normal masturbation. NOPE, that's masturbation with a circumcised penis.
: : :

Sounds to me like your DH has a very tight circ! Yikes.
post #49 of 51
there's not a circ'd man i know that didn't get raw from manual masturbation (i did know one very *cough* limber man who avoided that...)

they're all 'tight' to some extent, by virtue of missing half their skin. imagine your finger half skinned and pulled taut to heal; wouldn't it be tight inside its flesh when you bent the knuckle?
post #50 of 51
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=533341

Here's another.
post #51 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerTail View Post
(i did know one very *cough* limber man who avoided that...)
That is a mental image I did not need!
FWIW, when dh masturbates, he does need lube for that.
I really hope he never finds his way to this board. He'd definitely not appreciate that overshare. Or the many others I'm giving up. :
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