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my ignorant fiance re. attachment parenting... - Page 2

post #21 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by GinaRae View Post
I guess my experiences may be clouding me, but I say run. Go back to Wisconsin where you were building an AP life happily and do it BEFORE the baby is born. Tom can follow you if you allow him and you can begin to start over. But this way it is on your turf, you'll have support, and if he doesn't follow, well....

Hopefully I don't get flamed for this! But Tom makes me really nervous and when that baby is born, you're stuck where you are for good. A judge won't let you out of the state at that point if you're sharing custody of the baby. So I say, go now while you have control.
No flames here - that's what I would do....... and have done. Gina's right, if you see this ending badly, then move now before the baby is born.
post #22 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinksprklybarefoot View Post
My dad, stepmom and brothers are in North Branch. Are you in that area?

yes i am VERY close to there...well at least w/in say 20-25 mins. maybe not THAT close.
post #23 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistymama View Post
He read things, watched Unconditional Parenting with me, and we talked and talked. .
what is unconditional parenting? maybe i can get that from the library??? i just resent that i have to get him to sit down and watch something or listen to me read something for him to learn. i'd think he'd WANT to learn but he comes from a line of people who just 'go w/ the flow'.........he is a lot more evolved than his parents or siblings though..i gotta hand him that.

i still would much rather prefer being a single mama...but i'm trying to feel this out.
post #24 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrysalis View Post
what is unconditional parenting? maybe i can get that from the library??? i just resent that i have to get him to sit down and watch something or listen to me read something for him to learn. i'd think he'd WANT to learn but he comes from a line of people who just 'go w/ the flow'.........he is a lot more evolved than his parents or siblings though..i gotta hand him that.

i still would much rather prefer being a single mama...but i'm trying to feel this out.
Don't feel resentful of him....feel resentful towards the society that he was raised in. His parents probably felt at the time they were doing everything right. The times have changed. It will take time, lots of reading and exploring....give him room to grow as long as he is willing to grow in the parenting area
post #25 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrysalis View Post
what is unconditional parenting? maybe i can get that from the library??? i just resent that i have to get him to sit down and watch something or listen to me read something for him to learn. i'd think he'd WANT to learn but he comes from a line of people who just 'go w/ the flow'.........he is a lot more evolved than his parents or siblings though..i gotta hand him that.

i still would much rather prefer being a single mama...but i'm trying to feel this out.
What kind of guy do you think he is? If you left him would he fight for visitation/custody? if he would I would say that either way you see the relationship going getting on the same page about parenting philosophies will help in the long run because what I know from my situation is that it is hard to parent with someone who feels philosophically different from you and particularly hard to parent with someone who you are philosophcally different from, don't get along, and live in different houses. Even if you are a single mama if he fights for visitation you still have to parent with him so better you are on the same page, espcially if you plan to do extended breastfeeding because at one year he could get overnights and if you live in different states he could get overnights earlier than that in some states.
post #26 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrysalis View Post
what is unconditional parenting?
It's a "lecture" dvd by Alfie Kohan (sp?). You might find it at the library; I ordered mine online for about $15 through a co-op here. It's pretty good. If you can find a copy somewhere, it's worth a watch, imo. Even if you don't buy into the entire theory, it's a *great* conversation starter.
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