I think some of the discourse hasn't been directed to your post but to some of the responses to it.
|OK. I hear you. But do you hear me? They are focused on their child and trying to find a working system. I am focused on my child and making sure they are safe. I have no doubt that it is hard and there are "growing pains", but it is not acceptable for my child to be physically assaulted while T's parents work out the kinks with his program. This is the disconnect for me. It's like, I know they see there's an issue and that "it's hard" and "it's a slow process" but hellllooooo... my kid has been terrorized in school and nothing is changing. It's May. School ends in now 1 day. Whatever they're doing (the school at least) is not working, and they need to get their acts together for next year to make sure they can better support the children.
I do hear you. I have a "typical" child and a child with extra needs. And I accepted then, with her, and now, with him, that some kids are going to make mistakes. They're all learning, and a good program that is properly resourced will ensure that they can all learn with reasonable safety.
My son has also never deliberately hurt someone - it is always a reaction to overstimulation. My son, whose (mostly past) behaviour is likely seen as bullying by some of the other parents, cried at barely 4 yo when he intuited
that Charlotte was dying in Charlotte's Web. He's a sensitive guy who doesn't always have control of his emotions or responses, and at 4 has become the kid who is a peacemaker and defender of those who are being pushed around by others. This, because he had the support he needed and was not rejected when he lost control.
Please don't assume that the other parents don't care about your children. They just might. When I cried, it was in frustration and worry, pain for my son, and worry for the child who went home sad that something happened at school.
This thread has had a whiff of "deserving" to it - all of these littles deserve to have positive experience in preschool, and the anger should be directed right at the school and the funders and adminstrators of support services, not the kids.
ETA: Periwinkle, I totally understand the mama bear