"most homeschooled kids are kinda weird" - Page 3

[cottonwood]

I was outgoing, until I started school. I got more and more introverted the longer I was in school. It's taken me just about as long to become "unintroverted" again, and I'm still working on it. My kids are extremely friendly and extroverted. In other words, it is a myth that school makes you extroverted and if you don't go to school you will become a weird hermit. For the most part, the hs'ed kids I know are comfortable socializing with people of all ages, and comfortable in new social situations. For the most part, the schooled kids I know avoid interacting with adults and kids who are not their age or gender, or who are different in any way for that matter. In my experience, it really seems to me that the weird social conditioning is happening in the schools, not in the living that happens outside of schools. <shrug>

I was at an unschooling conference recently, too, and was in love with all the teenagers. They were just so cool. I wish I could have had such presence of self at that age.

[Dar]

I think maybe we'd have to know what people mean by "kinda weird", too. I am thinking that the OP's friend's "kinda weird" might be stuff like "doesn't feel comfortable in social situations if his mom isn't present" or "doesn't understand general social interaction, like when a group is chatting about movies, he asks if anyone wants to hear him recite the preamble to the US Constitution" or "doesn't know how to get along with other kids, like pushing to the front of a line and not understanding why he can't be first." That's the kind of "weirdness" some people expect from homeschoolers, anyway, and that's the sort of thing I think is more myth than reality.

dar

[MamaWindmill]

Yes, thank God.

[Nicks Mom]

Great comments - you're all making a lot of sense!

[umbrella]

I guess this goes with the sheltered conversation as well, but this thread is reminding me of something that happened a little over a week ago: my dd1, who is 6, wore underpants at night for the first time. Until this past month, she was among the 5% of kids her age, who wet at night.

That day after she finally felt ready to just wear unders at night (there were weeks of dry 'goodnights' before she was okay with the idea of moving on), she went around happily telling people she saw, young and old, that she wore underpants at night for the first time. She had no clue that another child in her position might have felt shame. And all the adults and little kids that she told, while I could tell some of them were surprised at that not only was my child saying this, but saying it just like it was a cool big-kid step, she got only postive reactions back.

And I was really happy for her, that she got through that phase having never felt shame or embarrassment about it.

[srenea04]

As an adult who was homeschooled all through childhood (my first intro. to the system was college) I can say that many of these ladies are very correct. I guess that most of my "peers" would consider me weird.

I have never felt the peer pressure to conform. I never cared about the things most school kids do. The clothes, having the latest things, trying things just cause all the other kids did. I still don't care about these things today.

I also have nothing in common with your usual 26 year-old who did go to school I guess. All of my friends are at least 5 years older cause they are simply the ones that I can relate to. Is that a bad thing? Not in my book.

As far as being introverted...well, I am. That is my personality. I'm also very self-conscious which I really can't explain since I never got teased or picked on and that has sometimes been a problem. I think that maybe I have learned to handle it better though since I never had to deal with it as a child. I was never "scarred".

I worry about that with my daughter being in school. She is very much like me and I worry that she will conform if she gets teased. I just believe that I will have to make sure that I help her in every way that I can. While teaching her how to deal with it and that it doesn't really matter at the end of the day.

I tried pulling my kids out and homeschooling them cause I really do consider that the best, but was not able to do it. I'm completely open to trying again someday though. I'm on here now looking for ideas for them for the summer and on into the school year. I at least need to add to the school.

[Ruthla]

My DD is a self-proclaimed "weirdee"- because the term "weirdo" is too "normal" to describe her!

Seriously, a huge : to all the above posters about HSed kids not feeling pressure to conform and lose their uniqueness. It's unfortunate that a handful of rude HSed kids have colored the public's perception of HSed kids.

[Peppermint]

Hmmm... we are just starting on the homeschooling thing, but I must say, my kids are really "normal" (ok, a bit more "well behaved" than most kids, but that is luck of the draw ). Once you get to know me, I am weird, but- I blend into a crowd pretty well and most would consider me, my dh and kids as really "normal".

That said, one big reason I wanted to homeschool is that my ds (now 5.5 years old) is such a sweet kid, very gentle and kind, etc. IMO, that is "normal" for his age, but, won't be "normal" in a couple of years, in school. He says things like "that butterfly is so beautiful mom", which, at 5 is "ok" but I knew school would beat that out of him, ykwim? So, I guess at some point, I hope my ds is considered "weird", I always want him to be able to call butterflies beautiful.

[mom2ponygirl]

My daughter has a good friend who attends ps. They have the best time together, playing different characters in the fantasy worlds they create. One day we were at my parent's neighborhood pool, and they were happily involved in one of their fantasy games. However, some college kids came walking over to swim and my daughter's friend was horrified. Hush, stop!, we've got to stop playing that! She was terrified to be found playing pretend even if it was by total strangers who could care less. I felt so sorry for her, so afraid to just be herself and enjoy the fun.

I hope my daughter can stay her 'weird' self - even if I do have to see her dressed from head to toe in stripes sometimes.

[member234098]

I have not read most of this thread, but if being more courteous and well-spoken is weird, then so be it.

That is my experience.

[Dar]

I've removed some posts from this thread. The discussion about the relationship of obesity to health would be more relevant in another forum. Mothering does not consider a person's weight to be related to her value as a person, intelligence, or anything else.

Dar

[KariM]

My DS was weird when he attended PS and he's weird now that's he's learning in his HS.

What has changed is that he's a more joyful, spontaneous, peaceful weirdo.

He doesn't worry about other kids harassing him because he enjoys reading Steven Hawking's books or plays D&D on the weekends. He doesn't have to listen to other kids teasing him because he doesn't participate in an organized sport. He doesn't feel pressure to keep quiet so that attention isn't drawn to him in the classroom.

HS didn't make him weird, but it did make him free.

[cottonwood]

Originally Posted by KariM

My DS was weird when he attended PS and he's weird now that's he's learning in his HS.

What has changed is that he's a more joyful, spontaneous, peaceful weirdo.

[...]

HS didn't make him weird, but it did make him free.

[BusyBee]

My husband's cousin whispered in my ear "don't homeschool, I've never met a normal homeschooler" when dh was discussing the possibility of homeschooling with her. I thought about this long and hard. To some extent I think she is right, however I came to the conclusion that "Hey, just look at us (the parents). There is no way our kids will EVER be "normal". WE then looked at our parental goals, and surprise!! creating normal kids was not one of them. Being able to function in socity is one of them and we give our kids plenty of opportunities to be out and about in the "Ral World". Unfortunately, their PS peers ofen are not given the same chance since they are in school most of the time.

By the way, I think schooled children have plenty of closet wierdos as well as the more obvious strange kids, they just learn to hide themselves as a coping mechanism for peer-pressure. I know, I was one of them.

[lauracd]

Originally Posted by ShaggyDaddy

"Normal" people do not change the world. They don't take chances, they don't stand out. The "average" person is almost completly invisible.

I want nothing less than absolute weirdom for my children, they deserve much better than to simply be "normal".

:

[lauradbg]

Well, I was public schooled and I'm weird. My kids sleep in and out of our bed. I nursed them for years. I gave birth at home. They are not vaxed. We eat traditional foods: raw milk, grass fed beef, (gasp) BUTTER! I homeschool. I'm a flipping freak in this society. My family is all the healthier and happier for it.

My kids are not as shy as I was at their ages and feel perfectly comfortable asking to join in with stranger kids at the park. My 6 1/2 year old daughter went up to the librarian, with no prompting from me, to ask where the Froggy books were. She doesn't know she's supposed to be nervous and cowed with adults. My son doesn't know that since he doesn't have all of the "cool" stuff public schooled kids have he really shouldn't feel so confident and enter into conversations with his soccer team mates, cracking them up with stories of his father's boyhood.

Yep, my kids are weird too. I think they will lead and not follow because of it and have a happier, more self possessed awareness.

Weird is really OK. And ShaggyDaddy has it exactly right.