Dear Abby 5/23/07

[woodchick]

Has anyone else read Dear Abby today?

http://uexpress.com/dearabby Read past the Underage Drinking letter.

(I hope it is okay to link that. I don't want to break any rules!)

[daniedb]

And after all, it was done in the privacy of her home -- not in a public place.

Yeah, phew! Thank goodness it wasn't done in public!

This will be my first lactivist letter, and I ain't gonna mince words. :

[eviesingleton]

Dear Abby should know better.

[mom2snugbugs]

In the early weeks of bfing both my dc's I would get so hot and thirsty that practically ALL my clothes would come off. This woman showed some restraint.

[martiesmom]

Thanks Dear Abby. I'm sure my MIL is going to hand me this one too. I made it clear to MIL when she came after Mei was born that if she was offended by the site of my breasts, that she shouldn't bother to come down.

[tallulahma]

is anyone else thinking they wish they could call this new mom and let her know that life can be easier?

I understand if she was too hot and wanted it off... I felt like that before. But I am wondering if she knows about nursing bras and how easy they are?
Forget about the exposure issue, when I was first breastfeeding my whole top came off, I couldnt juggle the baby, my huge breast and a bra. It was tank top down boobs out!!!

I think I made people squirmish in my family, but no one said anything.

[cristeen]

Just to clarify here... what is so terrible about saying at least she was in her home and not out in public when she removed her shirt and bra entirely to BF?

I read the column this morning and didn't have a problem with it. Abby clearly states that BF is normal and natural, she mentions the availability of nursing bras, and that the mother was probably inexperienced. None of what she said is untrue. And if a woman stripped to her waist in a restaurant to BF, I'd be a bit horrified, and I'm a rather rabid lactivist.

[eviesingleton]

The woman who wrote the letter asked if it was appropriate for the woman to expose her breasts in a breastfeeding context to which I feel the answer is a resounding YES. There are plenty of reasons why a woman might not use a nursing bra that have nothing to do with how experienced she is (e.g. cost, comfort, etc.).

I resent the implication that breasts are something which have to be hidden. I don't think taking one's bra off to breastfeed is a big deal.

[melissakc]

Yeah, I have mixed feelings about her response. I'm glad she stood up for the mom being in her own home, but she did kinda apologize for her by saying she did that bc she was inexperienced. Shoot, the more experienced I get at BF, the less I care what others think and the more boobage I expose.

I BF my DD in another room while my parents and ILs visited us when DD was 2 weeks old. Not this time! It's never my goal to make anyone uncomfortable, but it is my home and I'm not going to shut myself up in a room like that again.

But it is a very good excuse to be far away from them and just get some time to myself where no one is trying to take the baby out of my arms. It was a great thing to be able to go up to my MIL who was holding the baby and say, "Sorry, it's time to eat!"

[tallulahma]

Originally Posted by cristeen

Just to clarify here... what is so terrible about saying at least she was in her home and not out in public when she removed her shirt and bra entirely to BF?

I read the column this morning and didn't have a problem with it. Abby clearly states that BF is normal and natural, she mentions the availability of nursing bras, and that the mother was probably inexperienced. None of what she said is untrue. And if a woman stripped to her waist in a restaurant to BF, I'd be a bit horrified, and I'm a rather rabid lactivist.

I just pictured dh and I out to dinner and me taking off my top and bra......


I think I may try that tonight!

[TinkerBelle]

Originally Posted by cristeen

Just to clarify here... what is so terrible about saying at least she was in her home and not out in public when she removed her shirt and bra entirely to BF?

I read the column this morning and didn't have a problem with it. Abby clearly states that BF is normal and natural, she mentions the availability of nursing bras, and that the mother was probably inexperienced. None of what she said is untrue. And if a woman stripped to her waist in a restaurant to BF, I'd be a bit horrified, and I'm a rather rabid lactivist.

I agree. There is no reason to strip naked in a public place.

This woman was in her own home and maybe the visitors had overstayed their welcome?

[St. Margaret]

i wonder if the woman really took off her bra--- or is that just this person's way of saying she opened up her nursing bra??? i donn't trust the description necissarily b/c this person seems biased against bfing...

the reply couldve been better, but it was okay...

[Individuation]

How do you "take off your bra" while only "unbuttoning" your shirt? More likely, the woman pulled one of the bra cups down.

[woodchick]

Originally Posted by St. Margaret

i wonder if the woman really took off her bra--- or is that just this person's way of saying she opened up her nursing bra??? i donn't trust the description necissarily b/c this person seems biased against bfing...

the reply couldve been better, but it was okay...

This is just what I was thinking. I feel like the visitor was surprised that the mom would nurse in front of guests and maybe got a little hot and flustered about it.

New mom was obviously okay with it all!

It would have been nice if Abby had responded that Mom was in the right and if visitor was offended/found it rude she should have taken it as her cue to leave.

[eviesingleton]

Originally Posted by Individuation

How do you "take off your bra" while only "unbuttoning" your shirt? More likely, the woman pulled one of the bra cups down.

I can take my bra off without taking my shirt off. It also could have been a front-fastening bra. :


I think I am a closet nudist, the idea of someone taking their top off in public to nurse just doesn't bother me all that much.

[ksera05]

Originally Posted by TinkerBelle

I agree. There is no reason to strip naked in a public place.

This woman was in her own home and maybe the visitors had overstayed their welcome?

:

I am totally remembering to do that next baby

[BumbleBena]

Originally Posted by eviesingleton

I can take my bra off without taking my shirt off.

Me too, although usually it means I wind up yanking the bra out of one of my sleeves. I'm not sure I'd do that in front of company, though...

I'm glad Abby said it was natural, although I personally would have preferred if she told the guest that if she was offended by what the woman did in her own home, she could have left. That's just me, though.

[eviesingleton]

Originally Posted by BumbleBena

Me too, although usually it means I wind up yanking the bra out of one of my sleeves. I'm not sure I'd do that in front of company, though...

I'm glad Abby said it was natural, although I personally would have preferred if she told the guest that if she was offended by what the woman did in her own home, she could have left. That's just me, though.

I just hated the assumption of inexperience. It's not horrible to remind women of the existence of nursing bras, but some women don't like them. Personally, I want to believe that there are women who are comfortable popping it out, not that they need Discreet Nursing 101.

[Ruthe]

That Dear Abby response could have been better, but it sure beats an Ask Annie column I saw a few years ago. A woman complained about someone breastfeeding at a baby shower... all the guests were female, between the ages of 7 and 90... and the column authors said that the breastfeeder should have gone to another room to breastfeed so she wouldn't offend anyone in the mixed age group. At a BABY SHOWER!

[stacey2061]

Originally Posted by cristeen

Just to clarify here... what is so terrible about saying at least she was in her home and not out in public when she removed her shirt and bra entirely to BF?

I read the column this morning and didn't have a problem with it. Abby clearly states that BF is normal and natural, she mentions the availability of nursing bras, and that the mother was probably inexperienced. None of what she said is untrue. And if a woman stripped to her waist in a restaurant to BF, I'd be a bit horrified, and I'm a rather rabid lactivist.

yeah, i agree, and am chuckling a little at the thought